THURSDAY, FEB 5 8:30 NBC THE APPRENTICE This week's contest: Figure out a way to tell Donald Trump his comb-over looks AWFUL.
9:00 USA E.T.: THE EXTRA-TERRESTRIAL--Movie (1982) Elliott and his friends are excited to be visited by an alien--until they learn it's a walking turd.
FRIDAY, FEB 6 9:00 DSC AMERICAN CHOPPER The royal family of dysfunctional motorcycle builders constructs a tribute chopper to their favorite football team of all time, the New York Jets!
9:00 FOX THAT'S JUST WRONG Videos of stunts gone bad and other unbelievable behavior--that's just wrong.
SATURDAY, FEB 7 8:00 FX BACHELOR PARTY--Movie (1984) In this almost forgotten '80s classic, Tom Hanks marries Tawny Kitaen and kills a mule with barbiturates.
9:30 COM CHAPPELLE'S SHOW Dave busts out impersonations of famous honkies including the watermelon-busting Gallagher, and the predictions of "Negrodamus."
SUNDAY, FEB 8 8:00 CBS THE GRAMMY AWARDS Featuring a special performance wherein Justin Timberlake exposes Janet Jackson's other boob.
9:00 WB THE SURREAL LIFE Tammy Faye meets up with her fabulous gay fan club!
9:30 FOX ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT Job's g-friend Marta realizes that Michael has the hots for her.
MONDAY, FEB 9 9:00 FOX MY BIG FAT OBNOXIOUS FIANCE The hits just keep on coming for poor Randi who is accosted by Steven's even more obnoxious family.
TUESDAY, FEB 10 9:00 FOX 24 Jack gives Chase the "come to Jesus" talk about what it takes to be a heroin-addicted CTU agent.
9:00 UPN AMERICA'S NEXT TOP MODEL The girls visit a personality coach, who after an hour of training, mysteriously decides to commit suicide.
WEDNESDAY, FEB 11 9:00 FOX THE O.C. Sandy and Kirsten finally get fed up with Ryan always being Mr. Mopey-Pants.
9:00 WB ANGEL Angel travels back in time to WWII, to take on a submarine full of nazi vampires! Don't miss this one, folks; it's got "jump the shark" written all over it!