FRIDAY, JULY 2 9:00 VH1 FLASHDANCE--Movie (1983) A Pittsburgh welder refuses to put aside her dreams and fights to become an exotic dancer! 10:00 MTV VIVA LA BAM Bam and the gang pee their pants after learning they'll be receiving a visit from heavy metal monsters, Slayer!
SATURDAY, JULY 3 8:00 TVLAND THE FLIP WILSON SHOW MARATHON Back-to-back episodes of the '70s' most popular comedy variety show. Don't miss it! 9:30 COM RENO 911! The extremely gay Lt. Dangle gets a visit from his extremely straight ex-wife.
SUNDAY, JULY 4 8:00 FOX INDEPENDENCE DAY--Movie (1998) Butt-poking aliens celebrate our nation's holiday by blowing the shit out of Washington! Thank Christ for Will Smith!
9:00 NBC MACY'S 4th OF JULY FIREWORKS SPECTACULAR One of the biggest fireworks celebrations in the country, featuring "A Salute to the Torture of Iraqi War Criminals."
MONDAY, JULY 5 9:00 FOX THE CASINO Owners Tim and Tom hit the roof after learning a gambling psychic is stealing their money!
TUESDAY, JULY 6 8:00 CBS BIG BROTHER 5 Season Premiere! A new houseload of residents move in, while poor host Julie Chen loses the last vestiges of respectability. 9:00 CBS THE AMAZING RACE Season Premiere! The race around the world continues, with brand new contestants who are more annoying than ever!
WEDNESDAY, JULY 7 9:30 FOX METHOD AND RED Method and Red's honky cracker neighbors grow concerned upon learning the two rappers have become the presidents of the neighborhood association. 10:00 TVLAND ALF'S HIT TALK SHOW The furry alien Muppet (and sidekick Ed McMahon) welcomes guests Dennis Franz and Drew Carey. Cue the cat-eating jokes!