FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 24 8:00 CBS JOAN OF ARCADIA Season Premiere! After being screwed over, Joan gives God the stink finger. 8:30 <>ABC COMPLETE SAVAGES Debut! Nick tries to convince his disgusting rotten sons to start picking up after themselves.
SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 25 8:00 TVLAND THE BRADY BUNCH On a trip to the Grand Canyon, the Bradys get trapped in a ghost town jail. God, they're so stupid. 10:30 NBC SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE A repeat episode featuring host Justin Timberlake! Omigod, omigod, OMIGOD! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 26 8:00 FOX FASHION ROCKS Famous fashion designers and rock stars get together to strut around like goddamn peacocks. 10:00 ABC WIFE SWAP A mother/animal lover swaps places with a mother/animal hater in this funny new series.
MONDAY, SEPTEMBER 27 10:00 NBC LAX An electrical surge makes a plane go haywire in this new dramedy that makes me never want to fly again.
TUESDAY, SEPTEMBER 28
TUESDAY, SEPTEMBER 288:00 WB GILMORE GIRLS Rory faces more problems after losing her virginity to a (gasp!) MARRIED MAN?!? 10:00 A&E DOG THE BOUNTY HUNTER Dog fears that he may lose his "street cred" if he fails to bring in the "Godfather of Waikiki."
WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 29 8:00 WB SMALLVILLE Clark and Lois team up against a bastard Army officer. 8:00 ABC LOST The castaways discover an ass-chompin' monster in the second part of this debut episode. 9:00 UPN KEVIN HILL Kevin quits the law firm when they refuse to let him breast feed his new baby.