This Week on TV 

THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 24

8:00 FOX THE O.C. Finally! Seth's dreams come true when his tongue winds up in Summer's mouth.

9:00 FOX STARS WITHOUT MAKEUP An AWESOME special proving that, without their makeup, celebrities are just as ass-ugly as we are!

FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 25

9:00 CMT DUKES OF HAZZARD When Bo and Luke steal some slot machines from Sheriff Roscoe, he vows, "I'll git them Duke boys!"

10:00 SCI BATTLESTAR GALACTICA After capturing a cylon, the Galactica gang decides to "interrogate" it--using a very sharp pair of pliers.

SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 26

8:00 SPIKE CARPOCALYPSE Debut! Professional stunt drivers race school buses, and participate in "blindfolded trailer races."

9:00 SPIKE BOOM! Debut! Very much like the above show, except with professionals blowing shit up.

SUNDAY, FEBRUARY 27

3:00 WB LIVE FROM THE ACADEMY AWARDS Where you can make fun of the ugly dresses, and how fat Renee Zellweger is getting.

5:30 ABC THE ACADEMY AWARDS Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. MONDAY,

FEBRUARY 28

8:00 NBC FEAR FACTOR Former stars of reality shows compete in grueling contests and eat worms--which they were doing anyway, right?

TUESDAY, MARCH 1

8:00 WB GILMORE GIRLS Emily receives a belated post-wedding gift from Lorelai; a monogrammed ass chewing.

10:00 ABC NYPD BLUE Final episode! Sipowicz is sentenced to life in prison for 12 seasons of boring people to death.

WEDNESDAY, MARCH 2

8:00 ABC LOST Hurley races off into the jungle after becoming obsessed with a French woman (as we all have at one time or another).

9:00 ABC ALIAS In order to save Nadia from Sark, Vaughn is forced to dig up his ex-wife's body! Ewww! YEAH!

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