THURSDAY, APRIL 14
8:00 CBS SURVIVOR: PALAU In a humiliating turn of events, Stephenie discovers she's the only remaining member of her tribe. Yay, humiliation!
8:00 FOX THE O.C. In an old-school style O.C. episode, Marissa throws a drunken bash in Caleb's mansion, and Ryan gets poked in the snoot.
FRIDAY, APRIL 15
6:30 MTV2 WONDER SHOWZEN A disgusting, inappropriate use of children to promote an un-American and cynical viewpoint. I love it!!
9:00 UPN AMERICA'S NEXT TOP MODEL One of the models unwisely pushes Tyra over the edge--which admittedly isn't a very long trip.
SATURDAY, APRIL 16
8:00 ABC LITTLE HOUSE ON THE PRAIRIE Part four of five. Pa gets attacked by a mountain lion! Yay! Yay! Yaaaaaaaaay!
8:00 DSC SUPERVOLCANO A gigantic volcano lurking underneath Yellowstone Park threatens to blow up the entire west coast. I think I'll pack my bags now.
SUNDAY, APRIL 17
8:30 FOX ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT In a rarely seen demonstration of balls, George Michael kicks George Sr. out of the attic.
10:00 TLC THE BTK KILLER NEXT DOOR Friends and neighbors comment on the BTK killer (wait… bacon, tomato, and ketchup?).
MONDAY, APRIL 18
9:00 FOX 24 Somebody is in the soup BUT GOOD when a nuclear warhead goes missing.
TUESDAY, APRIL 19
9:00 UPN VERONICA MARS It's a poop-tastrophe in Neptune when the town's pets go missing.
9:30 NBC THE OFFICE The office staff takes on the warehouse boys in the most embarrassingly mismatched basketball game EVER.
WEDNESDAY, APRIL 20
8:00 WB SMALLVILLE Lex pays for the band Lifehouse to play at the Smallville prom. Maybe he should find friends his own age?
9:00 ABC ALIAS There's a Slone impersonator running around, which means Sydney can now be twice as disgusted.