This Week on TV 

THURSDAY, MAY 26

8:00 FOX THE O.C. Hey O.C. latecomers! It's back to the beginning of the season when Julie marries Caleb, and dumbass Seth accidentally steers his catamaran to Portland!

9:00 SPIKE THE LONGEST YARD--Movie (1974) For those who refuse to believe Adam Sandler as a NFL quarterback, check out the awesome original with Burt Reynolds.

FRIDAY, MAY 27

10:30 VH1 BSTV Women audition for the chance to marry a 99-year-old billionaire on live TV! Don't forget your denture cream!

SATURDAY, MAY 28

8:00 ABC LOST & DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES Here's another chance to catch the season finales of ABC's most popular shows--so don't get drunk and blow it!

9:00 HBO EMPIRE FALLS--Movie (2005) An all-star cast--including Ed Harris and Paul Newman--head up this made-for-HBO flick based on the popular novel.

SUNDAY, MAY 29

8:00 NBC TITANIC--Movie (1997) The forbidden love of an artist and a rich girl sink a luxury liner, thereby killing everyone aboard. Nice!

9:00 VH1 KEPT Debut! Mick Jagger's ex-wife Jerry Hall chooses between 15 boy-toys in this new romance reality show that in actuality takes a great big crap on romance.

MONDAY, MAY 30

9:00 FOX HELL'S KITCHEN Debut! Evil Limey chef Gordon Ramsay tortures 12 wanna-be cooks in what could be the meanest reality show ever!

TUESDAY, MAY 31

9:00 UPN BRITNEY AND KEVIN: CHAOTIC Britney begins to express doubts about her relationship with Kevin. Why? Because he's constantly drunk and stealing her money?

WEDNESDAY, JUNE 1

8:00 WB BEAUTY AND THE GEEK Debut! Brainy geeks get paired up with brain-dead cuties to win romance and big bucks in this new series from ogre Ashton Kutcher.

9:00 ABC DANCING WITH THE STARS Debut! In the corniest new reality show yet, celebs pair up with pro dancers to compete in front of a panel of ballroom experts.

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