THURSDAY, AUGUST 14
10:00 BRAVO KATHY GRIFFIN: MY LIFE ON THE D-LIST
Season finale! Kathy gets a chance to move up to the C-list—but unfortunately chooses to open her mouth.
10:30 COM REALITY BITES BACK
The comedians compete in a reality parody called, So You Think You Can Dive? Better wear some headgear.
FRIDAY, AUGUST 15
8:00 NBC SUMMER OLYMPICS
It's "beach volleyball" vs. "regular clothed volleyball." Guess who gets the gold?
SATURDAY, AUGUST 16
9:00 VH1 I WANT TO WORK FOR DIDDY
In order to become Puff Daddy's intern, the contestants are... dropped off in the middle of the wilderness?
9:00 BBCA PRIMEVAL
A giant spider is living underneath London which means the team will jump on a chair and scream like a girl.
SUNDAY, AUGUST 17
10:00 COM COMEDY CENTRAL ROAST
Raunchy comedians roast Full House's Bob Saget. (Get ready for some Mary-Kate and Ashley anal rape jokes. I'm not kidding.)
10:00 SPIKE KUNG FU KILLER
A two-part chop-socky mini-series starring Kill Bill's David Carradine and Daryl Hannah!
MONDAY, AUGUST 18
9:00 CNBC SUMMER OLYMPICS
Tonight features the most homoerotic sports: wrestling and table tennis!
10:00 MTV THE HILLS
Season premiere! Tonight's episode answers last season's cliffhanger, "Maybe something will actually happen next year?"
TUESDAY, AUGUST 19
8:00 ABC WIPEOUT
Doesn't matter if you've already seen this Wipeout repeat; the wipeouts still hurt just as bad.
9:00 PBS THE MAKING OF THE CHINESE OLYMPIC BASEBALL TEAM
Two American major leaguers whip the Chinese Olympic team into shape. TRAITORS!
WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 20
8:00 NBC SUMMER OLYMPICS
Surprise! More women's beach volleyball! Not that I'm complaining, but did they get rid of track and field?
9:00 BRAVO PROJECT RUNWAY
RuPaul is the guest judge for this "queen"-themed challenge, and... ohhhhh. I GET IT.