TREE TO PUBLICLY PEE ON 

Oak Tree

I was standing at the Bank of America ATM along North Lombard when an older man wearing gray sweat pants stepped in line behind me. He was with a five-year-old. "Don't stand too close to the man," he politely instructed his grandson.

A few minutes later, I watched as the two waited at the crosswalk for traffic to clear on Lombard. "Remember what we do: Look both ways, left then right," the older man told his grandkid, with a hand resting lightly on the boy's head.

It was a sweet scene; a grandfather taking time from his day to teach the manners of polite society. When the two reached the other side of the road, the man pointed to a spindly tree. "There's a good tree," he told the young boy, who promptly pulled out his penis and began urinating directly on its trunk. PB

Oak Tree, 10 feet southwest from N. Lombard along N. Chicago Street, available all hours, free

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