THURSDAY, MARCH 16
8:00 ABC AMERICAN INVENTOR
Debut! American Idol's Simon Cowell invents the worst idea for a reality show EVER!
9:30 NBC THE OFFICE
It's "Take Your Daughter to Work Day" and Michael strikes up an unhealthy relationship with a five-year-old.
FRIDAY, MARCH 17
9:00 SCI DOCTOR WHO
Debut! The king of the geeky sci-fi show returns, as a time-traveling doctor and his sexy assistant set off on adventure.
9:30 WB MODERN MEN
Debut! Three confused jerks hire a hotsy life coach... played by Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman?!?
SATURDAY, MARCH 18
8:00 NBC SATURDAY NIGHT'S MAIN EVENT
Debut! Pro wrestling returns to NBC... even though I don't recall it being invited.
SUNDAY, MARCH 19
8:00 FOX THE SIMPSONS
In the most awesome plot twist ever, a monkey takes Bart hostage.
9:00 VH1 THE SURREAL LIFE
Season Premiere! Tawny Kitaen, Florence Henderson, and George from The Jeffersons shack up for the sixth season.
MONDAY, MARCH 20
8:00 FOX PRISON BREAK
Michael comes up with a crazy plan to keep Lincoln alive. Hmm, does it involve a "prison break"?
9:00 FOX 24
It's "foreigners" to the rescue when Interpol steps in to help Jack track Bierko.
TUESDAY, MARCH 21
10:00 FX THE SHIELD
Season Finale! It's the final showdown between Vic and Kavanaugh—and somebody won't be around next season.
10:00 BRAVO REAL HOUSEWIVES OF ORANGE COUNTY
Debut! A cross between Desperate Housewives and The O.C., which is so dumb it must be brilliant.
WEDNESDAY, MARCH 22
9:30 FOX UNAN1MOUS
Debut! Nine crazy people sharing a bunker? Why, that's "inc3d1ble!"
10:00 NBC HEIST
Debut! A gang of crooks plan on robbing Rodeo Drive jewelry stores on the eve of the Oscars!