THURSDAY, JUNE 22

8:00 ABC MASTER OF CHAMPIONS

Debut! An assortment of freaks compete in this talent show based on the bizarro Japanese TV series!

9:30 NBC THE OFFICE

Another terrific repeat featuring Michael taking the employees on a drunken booze cruise.

FRIDAY, JUNE 23

9:30 COM SOUTH PARK

Don't miss this repeat episode where Chef is lured into a child-molesting cult (which is nothing like the Scientologists).

SATURDAY, JUNE 24

8:00 FOX COPS

A man fears for his life because of his drunken, violent, and belligerent wife. See, it's funny, because she's a WOMAN!

9:00 SCI ANDROID APOCALYPSE—Movie

(2006) Man and android learn to get along in a post-apocalyptic wilderness. I don't care what anyone says, androids BLOW.

SUNDAY, JUNE 25

9:30 FOX IT'S ALWAYS SUNNY IN PHILADELPHIA

The gang has some fun with the news that Charlie was molested by his gym teacher.

10:30 HBO LUCKY LOUIE

Check out this hilariously dirty sitcom, starring very funny comedian Louis CK!

MONDAY, JUNE 26

8:00 FOX HELL'S KITCHEN

It's two full hours of sweet, sweet humiliation when Chef Ramsay pits the guys against the girls—plus another chef has a mental breakdown over an undercooked plate of noodles.

TUESDAY, JUNE 27

9:00 NBC LAST COMIC STANDING

The comics are given a spontaneity exam on the Adam Corolla radio show.

10:00 COM DOG BITES MAN

Check out this funny cross between Reno 911 and The Daily Show, about a dim-witted local news team.

WEDNESDAY, JUNE 28

8:00 FOX SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE

A glorious two-hour episode featuring the top-16 dancers (many of whom dance like they're epileptics).

10:00 SPIKE BLADE: THE SERIES

Debut! Finally! The awesome vampire film comes to TV! (Wait. There's no Wesley Snipes? Forget it.)