8:00 ABC MASTER OF CHAMPIONS
Debut! An assortment of freaks compete in this talent show based on the bizarro Japanese TV series!
9:30 NBC THE OFFICE
Another terrific repeat featuring Michael taking the employees on a drunken booze cruise.
9:30 COM SOUTH PARK
Don't miss this repeat episode where Chef is lured into a child-molesting cult (which is nothing like the Scientologists).
8:00 FOX COPS
A man fears for his life because of his drunken, violent, and belligerent wife. See, it's funny, because she's a WOMAN!
9:00 SCI ANDROID APOCALYPSE—Movie
(2006) Man and android learn to get along in a post-apocalyptic wilderness. I don't care what anyone says, androids BLOW.
9:30 FOX IT'S ALWAYS SUNNY IN PHILADELPHIA
The gang has some fun with the news that Charlie was molested by his gym teacher.
10:30 HBO LUCKY LOUIE
Check out this hilariously dirty sitcom, starring very funny comedian Louis CK!
8:00 FOX HELL'S KITCHEN
It's two full hours of sweet, sweet humiliation when Chef Ramsay pits the guys against the girls—plus another chef has a mental breakdown over an undercooked plate of noodles.
9:00 NBC LAST COMIC STANDING
The comics are given a spontaneity exam on the Adam Corolla radio show.
10:00 COM DOG BITES MAN
Check out this funny cross between Reno 911 and The Daily Show, about a dim-witted local news team.
8:00 FOX SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE
A glorious two-hour episode featuring the top-16 dancers (many of whom dance like they're epileptics).
10:00 SPIKE BLADE: THE SERIES
Debut! Finally! The awesome vampire film comes to TV! (Wait. There's no Wesley Snipes? Forget it.)