BARFLY AND CHIMERA NEWS SHOWCASE STARRING PINK CHIHUAHUA, BASTINADO, THE TORTURE COOKIES, BURNING CINDYS

(Satyricon) Our favorite drink-em-up guide to Portland liquor establishments and punk rock magazine The Chimera bring you an ensemble of local and Seattle punk bands that will magnify your beer-fueled aggression. See Music pg 13

COSMOS GROUP, MADE FOR TV MOVIE, HEART BEATS RED

(Medicine Hat) It's 2001. The liquor has just now left your system. You are probably feeling stressed, what with President Bush choosing his anti-humanity, anti-choice cabinet, the imminent war with Russia and/or Columbia, and all those WWII movies you've been watching (like U-571, in which Jon Bon Jovi gets decapitated by exploding debris). Well, here's an idea. Gather your friends in a car, bus, or on bikes. Go to the Medicine Hat. Learn how to release a little tension by watching Heart Beats Red bend emotion and their voice-belting esophagi. Discover the joy in closing your eyes and letting your bad thoughts thrash out as you listen to the crackling storm of Made for TV Movie. Then cool down with the cardiovascular yet smooth, neuro-kinetic rhythm workout of The Cosmos Group. It's like yoga for nouveau, aggravated punk rockers. The world will still be the same and Spielberg will have made six more films about the '40s by the time you leave, but don't you feel better now? JULIANNE SHEPHERD

BOO ART FESTIVAL 2001 STARRING DR. ZOMB'S STEREO OBSCURA, TALES OF THE GOLDEN MONKEY

(PNCA, Swigert Commons) Dr. Zomb is not your average DJ. Like his KBOO show, only live, he'll be playing lost and ancient vinyl from the likes of folky train-hoppers and Kerouac-worshipping road warriors. It's old time, it's talk-y, and it'll make you want to hit the road armed with nothing but a dental mirror-spoon and a can of beans. Just like Natty Gann! Afterwards, Tales of the Golden Monkey will spin "sci-fi intensity with beats." Hmm... maybe a house version of the theme from Lost in Space? This kicks off KBOO's BOO ART festival 2001, featuring volunteers, art, live music, DJs, and fun. It's free, and also fully catered, although unlike First Thursday, there's more reason to attend than just free wine and cheese and the occasional atypical installation. JS

FRIDAY 1/5

MARILYN MANSON, COLD

(Schnitzer Concert Hall) Manson's back with a few new treats in his bag of sweets. Though his new album isn't any more than a rehash of his last couple of spinners, he'll still play all those songs you've screamed along to in your car with your friends... oh, those perfect little pills of disenchantment. If you've never seen Manson, it's a spectacular show. He struts and screams, beats himself up, spurts diatribes against the government ("We will not be oppressed by the fascist police state!"), changes costumes a half dozen times. He specializes in giving music the '70s whore treatment so sourly missing from today's ditzy rock elite. Hell, for his last show, he even brought a big-ass neon sign that spelled out "D-R-U-G-S." This show's "Holy Wood" set motif is taken from Manson's forthcoming graphic novel. So get out your boots and your face paint and get ready to rage like it's '95. See Music pg 13 RYAN TOBIAS

COUNTERVAIL, BERZERK, THIRTY3, ELENAI, AURORA

(Meow Meow) I love how, in Portland, hardcore music and all ages shows go hand in hand--how the jackbooted and biker-jacketed youths assimilate themselves into this powerful, brow-furrowed, thrash lifestyle, yet most of the under-21s are the sweetest kids you will ever meet. After seeing a hive of fratboys actually crowd-surfing at Modest Mouse (by the way, you've got to lie down flat, otherwise you'll fall right on your ass--for next time), the fact that this very subculture is even able to exist gives me at least some hope for humanity. JS

THE LOWDOWN, EMERGENCY, COMETS ON FIRE

(Portland Robot Steakhouse) Pull the plug on the Reed College bogart! You kitty cats have been hogging Emergency all to your damn selves for so long, but now those of us who are either too old or too poor to go to Reed finally get to see them. Yes, it's the band whose word-of-mouth reputation has gained them more fans than a strategically placed sticker in the Satyricon bathroom. They're pulling the lid off the Steakhouse tonight. Now when people whisper "Have you seen Emergency? OH MY GOD," you can either dispute/agree with their hushed excitement. The Lowdown joins us from beautiful Santa Cruz, CA, but is different from the rapping Lowdown. JS

MY REGRETS

(Dante's) I'm wondering if I really do like the My Regrets' energetic, scummy power rock, or if I have been brainwashed by so much press (Mercury's Jamie S. Rich, included) into liking them because they are really fucking hot. And yes, they are hot--five guys just dripping steamy sweat and slutty rock in that way that is meant to turn you on, even despite if it's worthy of MTV. So their motto is to "save rock and roll," and in my opinion (swayed, of course, by their lickability factor), if they're not saving rock and roll, exactly, they sure are playing it. They're good in the way that hooky, summer radio hits are good... all the slightly bitter, lost relationship lyrics, drenched in an ice-cool distortion, that remind you of making out in Forest Park in August. OK, I do like them, in the same surface way that I like the hot, hot radio licks of the Foo Fighters. But hey! David Grohl never looked this good. Go see them. JS

THE CHARM BRACELET STARRING GLACIER PARK, SLIDE SHOW BY BEAU VAN HINKLYWINKLE, FILMS BY JOHANNA HIBBARD

(Stumptown Coffee Roasters) Jessica Slavich is the gardenia-voiced core of Glacier Park. She'll play wry melodies on her careful guitar, and her airy-soft singing will teeter breathily on the line between on- and off-key. Although there's a Magnetic Fields cover in there, she doesn't sing overtly about lost love, too much... actually, a recurring theme seems to be ambulances. Just like the best Japanese stationery, with the sick Pandas that say, "I am help you. Wind is milky sky today." She might start out solo, but like the best bands, she adds members slowly throughout her set (like one Alex Neerman, drummer from the best band on earth, The Intima). And of course, the films and slide show performances complete the special party favor that is The Charm Bracelet. JS

SATURDAY 1/6

THE PRIDS CD RELEASE PARTY STARRING THE PRIDS, BERING SEA, PAN TOURISMOS

(Satyricon) Oops! Last time the Prids had a CD release party, it ended up not being a CD release party, because the manufacturers goofed and put some sort of glitch in track three. But this is a real CD release party, where you can not only see Portland's best darkly sparse new wave band play live, but you can purchase one of their morose yet super-slick CDs. Really! Do remember to dress nice, because you'll be enshrouded in the mystery that is their fog machine. Also, if you are under 21, never fear--they'll have an all-ages CD release party in the very near future. Plus, you'll get to see the linear, pulsing distortion scape of Bering Sea, and the absolutely fantastic, rhythm punk trio Pan Tourismos, who have minds for many guitar changes, especially swift and smooshy vocals, and some lyrics about basketball. JS

HAVALINA RAIL CO., ROY TINSEL BAND, GUESTS

(Meow Meow) Both of these bands play the kind of tunes made for sittin' on a big porch in a rocking chair on a warm day with a cold brewski. The Roy Tinsel Band is subdued indie rock with occasional metal guitar and jokey Frank Black-esque vocals (although not quite perfected and a tad grating). They have a lot of potential however, and if they play a tighter, more rock heavy line up than their album, they should definitely be worth seeing. The Havalina Rail Company are like their own little wacky orchestra with washboard, banjo, and upright bass all included. They're folky, but not offensively so--and mix up their sound with mellow guy vocals, eastern music influences, and ever so lovely violin. I'd give this show the go, because it's a warm breath of happiness now that the season of slack is over and none of us are going to get any more presents or cookies or free plane tickets or Christmas cards with sawbucks in them, which is of course a little depressing. KATIE SHIMER

THE HIT GIRL COLLECTIVE STARRING DJS SPECIAL K, JULIE HERRERA, GINGER VAUGHN

(Ohm, afterhours) The Hit Girl Collective was started in 1997 by Chicago DJ Special K, in response to the all-too-familiar marginalization of women in music by bookers and promoters. While rock has had at least somewhat of a surface equalization between women and men (remember Rolling Stone's dreadful "Women in Music" issue?), hearing and reading about lady DJs is as rare as rubies and alabaster... Fuck that. Tonight, you will get your booty bomb on to the lady-driven power freak. And you will witness Special K in action, along with infamous Seattle DJs Julie Herrera and Ginger Vaughn. And you will be like, "Shoot, girl, you be spinnin' like wine and roses," and you'll shake your shit and then you'll go out and get your own turntables and some quarter-inch adapters--cause it never hurt a gal to be a gearhead audiophile. JS

VI FOOT SLOTH, THE WHITE PAPERS, LARRY YES, A-SET

(Medicine Hat) Sick of ragin'? Feeling a little pensive, a little emotionally constipated, perhaps? This show is for you, my friends. VI Foot Sloth's music lives up to the band's moniker, mixing those drowsy, off-kilter guitars For Carnation fans have come to know and love with the type of sparse, quirky instrumentation that has done the Black Heart Procession so well. Lead singer "The Jed" is able to muster just enough energy to enunciate his sad stories of disappointment and regret in an off-key groan. The White Papers won't spoil the mood, with their delicate, fluid guitar melodies and nasal vocal delivery. And Larry Yes will cap the whole thing off with his downtempo tomfoolery. It's the perfect soundtrack for sulking in the corner, chasing vodka with Valium, and melting into a piddley puddle of self-pity and regret... if that's your thing. RT

SUNDAY 1/7

Spend tonight creating something (a song, a painting, an origami swan, an interpretive dance, etc.), utilizing all the passion you've absorbed subconsciously through the great music you've seen this week. Then send a copy of what you have done to the Mercury, and we'll send you something in return. We don't know what it is yet, but it will be something.

TUESDAY 1/9

WAILING SOULS, NABOULE, DJ PROFESSOR STONE, SELECTA SNACKS, YT

(Berbati's Pan) As the Wailing Souls enter their fifth decade as a group and release a new album, Equality, their sound is being tested by modernity. The album is strong musically, and the Rasta sentiments of remaining members Winston "Pipe" Matthews and Lloyd "Bread" McDonald remain apparent as well. However, there seems to be a certain danger in being a roots-era artist in the year 2000, a time when reggae is dominated by dancehall. A time when those grainy, salt-of-the-earth sounds of yesteryear have been infused with the bells and whistles of modern music making. Equality, accordingly, is heavy on artificial sounds. But this is really no one's fault. Times change, people change, and the Wailing Souls, who started out in the '60s, cannot be expected to stick completely to the sound that brought them to the fore of reggae music decades ago. The bass and drum contributions of fellow reggae dignitaries Robbie Shakespeare and Sly Dunbar are still solid, and the harmonies of Pipe and Bread are clean as ever. KRIS ADAMS

WEDNESDAY 1/10

NOISE FOR PRETEND

(Berbati's Pan) My darling Noise for Pretend, I know we've only known each other for nine days and six hours, but I think I love you. All this time we've spent alone has shown me how perfect we are together. You're smart and playful and heartbreakingly talented; have both the nostalgic soul of jazz and the lighthearted elements of pop; don't take yourself too seriously; and have a voice I could kiss for days. And to top it off, you look great in nothing but a cowboy hat. My search ends here. I know this might not last forever, and that you're busy with other projects like Kaleid and playing bass with that crazy New York sax player, Rob Scheps. But does he really love you the way I do? I'll never find anyone like you again in this town. Hold me, Noise for Pretend, and don't ever let go. Yours forever, CHANTELLE HYLTON

TRANCE/BREAKBEAT NIGHT

(Ohm) This is a newly added, weekly night at Ohm, and we are assured there WILL be breakdancing. While some people are shocked that b-boying (and b-girling) is actually coming back (and actually has been for at least four years, though many would say it never left), there are some people out there who are young enough to believe that this wave of breakin' is the first. Let's everybody come together for a little poppin' and motherfuckin' lockin' (got-DAMN!), because it's one of those things that spans cultures and genres and, apparently, decades. Also, a break-off is a great way to solve a quarrel if you have poor communication skills. JS

GOING TO SEATTLE?

Fri 1/5: Shinehead, Sister Luv & J.B. (Bohemian); The Smiths Cover Night (Crocodile); Star Kissed (I-Spy)

Sat 1/6: Marilyn Manson, Cold (Mercer Arena); Living Daylights (Sit & Spin); Robin Holcomb & Wayne Horvitz (Tractor Tavern)

Sun 1/7: Protoplasm featuring Sientific American and Drum and Tuba (I-Spy)

Mon 1/8: Rick Bishop & Jason Glover, Beds, Maximum Coherence During Flying (I-Spy)

Tues 1/9: McCoy Tyner Trio (Jazz Alley); Blue Glove Club (OK Hotel)

Wed 1/10: Hollywood Mike Miranda (Zak's)