THURSDAY JULY 12

SEMIAUTOMATIC, ONELINEDRAWING, THE BANGS

(Meow Meow) The label 5 Rue Christine, who releases Outhud, Godzik Pink, XBXRX and others, has the best mission statement in the world. Part of it reads, "It is tasteless to talk about parameters, or to impose any kind of ideology or substance to any form of creative outlet. And so, much of what you come across should be ignored. Gauguin didn't start painting until he was 50, Kafka didn't have a thing printed in his lifetime. John Grisham releases things daily and he's an abortion." Genius! And they gave us the Get Hustle, who were supposed to play this show but unfortunately cancelled. But that's sort of okay, because we still get Semiautomatic's nitrogenic, circuit-board melodies. Consisting of Rop Style and Akiko, they'll throw down a bigass beat and orchid-light vocals, and you'll think you're in a creamy, puffy dream. JULIANNE SHEPHERD

WHITE STRIPES, VON BONDIS, WAXWINGS

(Berbati's) What does it matter, really--the nature of the relationship between the two members of The White Stripes? Jack and Meg White have just released their second full-length, creating a Rolling Stone-sized market buzz that finally matches the enthusiasm previously reserved for record store clerks and The Stripes' former billmates. They've made a video, appeared on late-night TV, and are touring both coasts and Europe! The trades squeal that the White Stripes put the "roll" back into "Rock 'n' Roll," and have reminded us that R&B really used to mean "Rhythm and Blues!" All this and only two members! By borrowing tricks from Zeppelin, the Stones, and Robert Johnson, the sound is hardly unknown territory, but by doing it right, it stands out from the rock herd. But, really, what's the deal? Their bio says they're brother and sister, but my two self-proclaimed integritous sources say different. Mr. Truth (total bullshit) says they're divorced (Quasi?), and Ms. Factual (probably high) says she saw them making out by their van after a show. Who cares? They're bitchin'. KATE MERCIER

GARMONBOZIA, GREEN CIRCLES, THE FRONTIER

(Medicine Hat) Being the new kid in school can be a mixed blessing. If you're smart and attractive, the obligatory attention you receive will be compounded. This attention inevitably occurs in the beginning, but will only last if you play your cards right. The school of the Portland music scene operates in much the same way--just substitute smart and attractive for skilled and listenable. A new band such as Garmonbozia, that has an acute understanding for polishing up '70s, atmospheric progressive rock by removing what might not translate to contemporary music, are getting some well-deserved attention. But taking into consideration the wave of talented new bands moving to town every week, they need to proceed with caution (i.e., Don't play every week). Running around school making out with every girl that fawns over you will either get your ass kicked by a jealous jock, or just wear out the initial, new-kid excitement prematurely. JOE FAUSTIN KELLY


FRIDAY JULY 13

ROCK & ROLL PROM STARRING TRACY & THE PLASTICS, INSECURIOUS, LITTLE TRIGGERS

(Multicultural Center, PSU) An event to kick off this weekend's Zine Symposium, this is also being touted as the "Zinester Prom," although you don't have to be a zinester to attend. (However, I am making it a rule that if you go, you have to promise you will make a zine at some point afterwards.) It's starring Tracy & the Plastics, who, in this year's Muscler's Guide to Videonics, has released one of my top five albums of all time. It's a daring piece of work, with postmodern aerobics themes and a vibrato so authoritative you just know Tracy's tougher than you are. In addition, Insecurious will play Cyndi Lauper covers (see Tuesday listing) and the newly-formed Little Triggers will play pop music. By the way, dress up, cause it's the PROM. You can even get your picture taken with your date! JS

GAVIN HARDKISS SHADOW RECORDS CD RELEASE PARTY

(OHM) Gavin Hardkiss has a song called, "Funky Disco," and as simplistic as it sounds, I can't think of a better way to describe their music. It's exactly what you expect to hear every time you walk into an electronic club that pretty much knows what they're doing--it may be funky disco, but it's tight funky, mixed in with something that sounds quick and windy. Almost like surf music, but more modern. It's definitely worth a night of dancing, if not a night of doing some serious disco drugs. KATIA DUNN

HIGH VIOLETS, THE SOPHIES, TWEEN PLANETS, A NORTHERN CHORUS

(Blackbird) A Northern Chorus, from Toronto, lay out a shoegazer landscape with gravity and solitude. They have the requisite wash of guitars, but there is so much patience in their songwriting and impending storminess in their vocals. This makes it so they are able to transcend the thin line of audience boredom, and replace it with a lump in your throat and a weight in your stomach. With Portland's own High Violets, who, according to esoteric emails from publicists, may soon have some exciting label news. JS

BRMC, TV EYE, RICK BAIN & THE GENIUS POSITION

(Dante's) Black Rebel Motorcycle Club, while having a hardcore name, isn't hardcore at all. In fact, they play my least favorite kind of music--uncomplicated, fluffy pop filled with a bunch of meaningless rhymes that evoke no emotion whatsoever. The guitars blend together into completely inoffensive background music that could just as easily be produced by a keyboard. Their singer attempts Robert Smith-type, somber vocals, but doesn't pull off the searing pain thing and ends up just sounding like a complacent, beer-drinking guy who's upset about breaking up with his girlfriend. KATIE SHIMER


SATURDAY JULY 14

NEIL HAMBURGER, PLEESEEASAUR, BUDDY PANTS

(Meow Meow) What do you get when you combine a motor oil-swigging, South-of-the-border, cross-dressing, ex-wrestler with an aging Coney Island ingrate "comic?" That's right--two hours of pure frickin' genius. These two "humor stylists" have a knack for assaulting the crowd with foul language, rancid breath, and the kind of misinformed jokes that only a chain-smokin', trailer-park mother would want to hear twice. Hamburger forged the path for the relatively nubile Pants, releasing a series of ill-received comedy discs in the early '90s and making enemies out of fans with his abusive delivery and tendency to vomit on innocent audience members. Pants only recently turned to comedy after years as a Great Neck Toll Booth flunky, his pain and bitterness fueling his fantastic knack for making misery slightly entertaining. Hamburger vs. Pants--it's a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to see two men who hate humans learn to hate each other--for one night only. A.J. ROSE

BOSCH'S OCCASIONAL JOURNAL RELEASE SOIREE, BUTTERY LORDS, HOLY SONS, ELECTRIC EYE

(Blackbird) Bosch's Occasional Journal, an... occasional journal... with bases in PDX and Boise, apparently has good taste in music. After seeing them several times, I thought I was getting tired of Buttery Lords' shtick (three funky honky MCs, lyrics for college grads, and spooze jokes). However, the anticipation of new rhymes has me excited to see this show. Holy Sons made me cry last time I saw them; just listen to Emil's voice, his yearning for salvation and his crackling determination. The shit is painfully honest. JS

GLASS CANDY & THE SHATTERED THEATRE, COMETS ON FIRE, SUBTONIX, THE LOWDOWN

(6616 NE MLK) The Lowdown's sputtering noise and cracked-out vocals, Subtonix' bloody-nurse punk, Comets on Fire's pounding rock, and the Glass Candy's interminable, engaging, one-of-a-kind art garage. Holy fucking shit. JS

ANI DIFRANCO

(Schnitzer) A talented, energetic singer-songwriter whose acclaim came from incessant, high-energy live shows, from chowing muff and spilling the beans about it, and from running a big fat mouth that never ever stops. Someone dragged me to her show last year, and I could barely resist the urge to open fire. She must have had every musician in America up on that stage with her, and she ran around like a superstar, all dreadlocked and lovey-dovey, condescendingly touching each and every band member about 175 times like she was their mom or something, and I thought, damn, that bitch is crazy! So crazy, in fact, that she had Prince do backup vocals on a recent album and you could barely hear him over her cat-in-heat howling. Somebody silence this woman. JEFF DeROCHE


SUNDAY JULY 15

CEX, STARS AS EYES, STRATEGY

(Satyricon) See Music pg 15

MIA DOI TODD, THE CLOGS

(Green Room) I wrote about this show last week, but realized I fucked up the date--I'm sorry. You should go; The Clogs' CD is pretty good--it's kind of avant-chamber music with a classical guitar, bassoon and strings. JS


MONDAY JULY 16

THE HAGGARD, TAMI HART, ROTOPHONE

(Meow Meow) This show could be renamed the Girls Who are Cool As Shit show. Wait no, that doesn't even do it justice. These female musicians are not about redefining a kind of "girl-rock genre," or making a political statement that is only relevant to one-half of the population. These chicks are just so much more about being tough-as-steel rockers. Take Tami Hart, the 18-year-old South Carolinan who basically redefines the one-person acoustic act with her totally sad-but-ragged and rough vocals, her painfully bare voice. Then there's the Haggard, who're just straight-up fucking hardcore, and who play like every minute is about to be their last. Seriously. KD


TUESDAY JULY 17

THE NOW TIME DELEGATION, THE NATRONS, THE 9S

(Satyricon) Now Time, starring Tim Kerr and members of the Bell Rays, plays old-school, soulful "Papa was a Rolling Stone" type music. They have a deep-voiced female vocalist, and pretty jammy, Phish-sounding instrumentals infused with some sprawled finger, one-bang keyboarding. If you listen to classic rock you might be a fan, or as I mentioned, the Dead or Phish (not that those two bands have anything in common--hee hee). This is something different, friendly, and overall appealing (plus it won't blow your eardrums out). KATIE SHIMER

YOYO-A-GOGO KICKOFF PARTY

(Olympia, WA. Drive up I-5, get off at "Olympia" signs) The main problem with this year's edition of Yoyo-a-Gogo, the bi-annual indie music festival, is that, unlike years past, nearly every band that's playing is from the Pacific Northwest. That means most of us in Portland and surrounding areas have seen a lot of these bands a million times already. That doesn't discount that most of them are very much worth seeing; It just doesn't have the same appeal as it did when it seemed like it was connecting the nation's (and world's) independent music communities. It's a weeklong festival, though, and it is always a damn good time. Highlights as follows. Tuesday: Indie Rock Music Videos, C-Average, Mirah, Glass Candy, Internal/External, The Microphones. Wednesday: The KG, Rebecca Pearcy, Tami Hart, Timonium, Tracy & the Plastics, Space Ballerinas, The Haggard. Next week, we'll give you more highlights for Thurs, Fri, and Sat. Until then, you can get tickets/full schedule at www.yoyoagogo.com, or come look at the poster taped to the front door of the Mercury office. JS

INSECURIOUS, TAMI HART, ROTOPHONE, POLKADOT CHOKEALOT

(Ethos) Insecurious is Portland's premiere Cyndi Lauper cover band, featuring members of Heart Beats Red, The Haggard, The Dimes, and The Disappearer. And they are fucking GREAT, putting all their energy and show-person-ship into playing some hits ("She Bop" and "True Colors," but never "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun") and the lesser-heard (including a fantabulous "Money Changes Everything"). "Cyndi" (Tasha) belts it all out, juxtaposing her Lauper-ensembles with an arena-pop strut. Their rare performances should never be missed. JS


WEDNESDAY JULY 18

BRITTLE STARS, BARCELONA, I AM THE WORLD TRADE CENTER, TIMONIUM

(Red & Black) Not to be confused with Portland's Braille Stars, Florida's Brittle Stars make airy, curious keyboard pop the way it should be done--with electronics, good bass lines, and the delicate gaze of a shoe. Barcelona makes great isolated dance tunes for children of the '80s, I am the World Trade Center pulls instant '60s pop hits from a laptop, and Timonium is a San Franciscan troupe of slowcore guitarists. Come prepared to dance. JS

ALPHABET DRESS STARRING BRAILLE STARS, DICKEL BROTHERS

(536 NE Cook, 7 pm) One oft-heard complaint about the monthly travelling house-llery Alphabet Dress is that, even though there is consistently cheap and mostly consistently awesome art at each outing, the whole thing ends up degenerating into a big party. But that's kind of the point; the Alphabet Dress is anti-stuffy, yuppie, bourgeois, exclusive gallery. The opposite of stuffy = fun. Fun = parties. For some of us, even ART can = fun. And guess what? The Dickel Brothers, with their old-timey guitar and labor-whiskey harmonies, also equal fun. It's tame until all the art is bought up, anyway, just like a medieval feast (without serf-jousting). JS

SNOOP DOGG, THA EASTSIDAZ, DOGGY'S ANGELS, DOGG POUND, BAD AZZ

(Rose Garden) Eminem clearly, loudly has the spotlight these days, as Dr. Dre's "discovery" and as the most ethically challenging MC out there. But let's not forget Snoop, who was Dre's "discovery" of the same type about five or six years ago, and a serious contender in the contest of who is the most genuinely buckwild. Actually, Eminem and Snoop are two sides of the same Dre coin: where Eminem wants to go crazy and kill everyone, especially his wife, Snoop wants to get crazy fucked up on weed and alcohol and have sex. While Snoop is, on all accounts, laid back, he loves sex, money, and drugs and raps about it more than anyone out there; on stage he will drink and smoke weed with calm confidence, and shamelessly talks about women as sex objects. And--AND--if you think his schpeil is bullshit braggadocio or just a juvenile fantasy, you can just go see the porno film Snoop made with Hustler Video. BRIAN GOEDDE


GOING TO SEATTLE?

Fri 7/13: Alejandro Escovedo (Tractor Tavern)

Sat 7/14: Capitol Hill Block Party (11th & Pine)

Mon 7/16: Kid 606, Cex (Crocodile)

For more info, visit www.thestranger.com

New Releases July 17: Aaliyah*, Actual Tigers, Anjali, Apples in Stereo*, Appliance, Jad Fair & Daniel Johnston*, Perry Farrell, Edith Frost*, Lily Frost, k. (Karla Shickele)*, Kill Your Idols, Jeff Mangum*, Roots Manuva, Marmoset, Migala, Nullset, Orange Twin Fieldwork (Neutral Milk Hotel)*, Iggy Pop, Rondelles*, RoVo (Boredoms)*, Ruby, Adam Schmitt, Soft Rock Renegades, Super Furry Animals, Tenacious D*, Jimi Tenor, Terrorists, M. Ward*

*
= we like