THURSDAY 3/13

CAPTAIN FANTASTIC
(Aladdin, 3017 SE Milwaukie)
Joel Mason ("Captain Fantastic") has stepped up to the plate in mammoth sparkly platforms to indulge fans of the '70s Elton John. Mason's voice is virtually indistinguishable from Elton's, his garb just as flamingly flamboyant, and his antics are, thankfully, reminiscent of the classic, substance-abusing Elton, without being as depressing. KATE MERCIER

SOLE, GRAND BUFFET, ILLAJ
(Jackpot Records, 203 SW 9th Ave, 6:30 pm; Meow Meow, 527 SE Pine, 9 pm)
Sole is much more than a sharp emcee, he is also the brain of the Anticon collective, the most prolific indie-hop movement around. On his new record Selling Live Water, his brisk amphetamine-fueled delivery couples famously with the keen production wizardry of beat conjurers Alias and Jel (of Themselves). As with other so-called "emo-hop" emcees, such as Slug of Atmosphere, Sole speaks directly to his audience with a refined lyrical style and intensity that leaves the recipients' minds ringing with insight. Also on the bill is the fiercely entertaining duo of Grand Buffet whose uninhibited antics include dueling emcees, piggyback rides through the audience, and political commentary to the effect of, "George W. Bush doesn't want a nu-clear war, George W. Bush wants a nuke-you-ler war!" KEVIN O'CONNOR

EEK-A-MOUSE, FOUR 20 BAND, SELECTA, CANSAMAN, SMALL AXE SOUND
(Mt. Tabor, 4811 SE Hawthorne)
Eighties dancehallers Eek-A-Mouse will be bringing out the hippies by the smoke filled van-full. If that isn't enough of a reason not to go, he will be supported by The Four 20 band: Four Marley-worshipping, goatee-laden young men from Orange County. However, if you're brave enough to face all that, you will be handsomely rewarded. Eek-A-Mouse's flair for outrageous costumes and his mastery of "sing-jay" vocal style will make you groove without even thinking about how long it will take you to get rid of the patchouli smell. CHAZZ MADRIGAL

PLEASURE FOREVER, BLUEBIRD
(Berbati's, 231 SW Ankeny)
Not to brag, but I played a show last winter with Pleasure Forever in Germany. Besides being struck by their dapper appearances, one fact washed over my mind: playing with the artists formerly known as Bay Area legends Slaves and the VSS in front of a crowd full of Euros would certainly go down in the history books as one of the most killer ways I'd ever spent an evening. PF's Sub Pop debut is debaucherous, full of spooky Bowie-goth drug rock and sexy apocalypse themes. The band sounds like chocolate liquor tastes: bitter, rich, dark, and deliciously sinful. Live, they're a somehow classy whirlwind of depression-damaged keys, crunchy guitars, and salty, flying sweat. JOAN HILLER

IOMMI STUBBS, YOB, CONTROL OVER SPACE, BLACK MAGIC CIRCLE
(Satyricon, 125 NW 6th)
Iommi Stubbs, one of the heaviest, loudest stoner rock bands of mid-'90s Portland, has come out of a six year hiding to rock us once again. If you are fans of Eyehategod or Sleep, this is a good show to go to. If you somehow remember Iommi, this is also a good show to go to, and if you're one of those people that grumps around about everything being better in the olden days, this is a good show to go to, too. KATIE SHIMER

DEADWEIGHT
(Conan's, 3862 SE Hawthorne)
Deadweight consists of three guys (two of whom graduated from the San Francisco Conservatory of Music) who play unbelievably hard-hitting rock music with a shit-kicking, aggressive, scowling... violin, cello, and drums. Yes indeed, as classically schooled musicians, Deadweight integrates their old-school training and transforms it into a raw fusion of new, inventive music. And after touring with an inventive musician like Les Claypool this past fall and claiming the ever-inventive Jello Biafra as a fan, you know these boys got something special going on. NICOLE WARREN

FRIDAY 3/14

CARLA BOZULICH, EL FAY, CARLA KIHLSHTET
(Blackbird, 3728 NE Sandy)
At the height of her Geraldine Fibbers-fronting pseudo-fame, Carla Bozulich rated a Spin feature. She took full advantage of the opportunity, with a full-page photo that became the best punk pin-up since Patti Smith's Easter album cover. In addition to that lamentably defunct outfit's discography, Bozulich can draw from a stock of stellar covers, including James Brown's "Hot Pants" and Tom Waits' "On the Nickel." Violinist Carla Kihlshtet joins Bozulich on this mini-tour. ANDREW MILLER

SPECIAL GOODNESS, LOUDERMILK, MY REGRETS
(Dante's, 1 SW 3rd)
Q: What's louder than milk? A: Four UNABASHEDLY fashion-core, Spocked-out indie boys (now on a major) that used to be in a Guns N' Roses cover band. Based on a few spins of Loudermilk's DreamWorks debut, The Red Record, their music is like a glued-together version of a million post-hardcore (squeeemo) bands that never made it and are gonna be PEEE-ISSED when they see these boys get big. Special Goodness reincarnates Rocket From The Crypt members Patrick Wilson and Atom Willard and produces some crunchy guitar rock with everyman vocals that could be better. But c'mon, Rocket From The Crypt are legends and the music is, if nothing else, fun. ADAM GNADE

COMMON, GANG STARR, TALIB KWELI
(Roseland, 8 NW 6th)
All corporate, major label bashing aside, this boy is hot. Common brings his brand of thought provoking, politically conscious rhyming to our fair city with some serious heat in tow. Taleb Kweli and Gang Starr, like Common, have been writing underground hiphop history since the early nineties. It's nice to see rappers not obsessed with bling getting some attention again, even at the cost of questionable endorsement choices. CZM

NO THANKS TO YOU, RHYTHM OF 84, COUNTDOWN TO LIFE, RUXPIN
(Meow Meow, 527 SE Pine)
Reportedly, the Ruxpin on this bill includes mere humans instead of exciting stuffed bears (get your very own Teddy Ruxpin Doll on sale now at Wacky Willy's), but its rowdy showmates Rhythm of 84 and Countdown to Life should provide plenty of fuzzy feedback. It's also No Thanks to You's CD release party, and if Teddy's animated birthday bash offers an accurate indication of all Ruxpin-related shindigs, expect a heated game of grungeball to ensue. AM

DISMANTLED, SD-6, IN RUIN, SOVIET RADIO, RISING! MAN! INCINERATOR(Paris, 6 SW 3rd) For fans of industrial music, Dismantled combines fast, harsh industrial beats, electronic noise explosions, morbid hollow voice samples, and computerized vocals to create music that is truly sinister, but well suited to strobe lights and dancing. Compared to early Front Line Assembly and currently being solicited by two labels (Metropolis and Dependent), Dismantled has been called one of the best dark electronic outfits of recent years. See them, or perish. KS

RED SECTOR, HEAD OF LIES, CAMARO HAIR
(Berbati's)
Ever looked at one of those giant pairs of platform moon boots and wondered where in the hell you could wear those and look precisely in tune with your environment? Well, it's Berbati's, but tonight it's come under the occupation of German techno enthusiasts Red Sector, pumping funky, ravey, spacey beats into the night and all that. Local openers Head Of Lies and Camaro Hair are kicking it downright Amish in comparison, what with their heavy use of stringed instruments like guitars. Head is sad and clear, while the Hair is quite sophisticated and polished. Those drawn to the rockier openers might indulge their trance-curious fantasies. MARJORIE SKINNER

SATURDAY 3/15

ATOM AND HIS PACKAGE, Q & NOT U, ENGINE DOWN
(Meow Meow)
Q & Not U left a lot of kids scratching their heads when they released last years Different Damage. Dropping the post-punk antagonism of their debut in favor of a more melodic, at times free jazz-like approach. In spite of all that, this show should offer plenty of opportunity to shake your ass in tight confines with underage girls, and isn't that what the Meow Meow is all about? CZM See Music pg 17

R'N'R CAMP FOR GIRLS BENEFIT W/T-REXA, CHERCHEZ LA FEMME, MOTHER MAY I
(Rock n' Roll Camp for Girls, 8900 NE Vancouver Way, 6 pm)
The Rock 'n' Roll Camp for Girls has a new clubhouse and, damn, the boys are really jealous. And with good reason. Last year, campers got to hear Sleater-Kinney's Carrie Brownstein expound on her amazing career in rock and take part in a discussion about Size Oppression. Boys never get to talk about self-image and musical talent vs. pin-ups. The Camp is celebrating their new digs with an open house featuring bands made up of former campers. Remember girls, the camp runs June 16-21st, the deadline for applications is April 11th and slots are going fast. Log on to www.girlsrockcamp.org and be the envy of your brother. TED THIEMAN

PHOENIX FEST
(Disjecta, 116 NE Russell)
Ah, yes, another multi-media affair at that bastion of Portland multi-media affair venues. This one has a cryptic monkey theme, and will consist of displayed art and cheese, while "atmospheric" music sets the tone. Then it will segue into a more dance-oriented evening, aka IDM (acronym of the day: Intelligent Dance Music, duh). Anyhow, these smarties include Lusine, ICL, ML, Silver, and Partica. ML is a fun mix of Atari video game sounds and experiments with what seem to come from all over. Is that a banjo I hear? Was that a maraca? MS

TWO GUYS' CD RELEASE PROM W/THE BOGGS, IV FOOT SLOTH
(Blackbird)
I'm not particularly keen on reliving any high school experience, let alone the prom, with its tuxedo rentals, expensive tickets, and general wallet-draining excess... all so I could take Crystal Nerdrum home to her overbearing father two hours later and not even get a goodnight kiss. But that's neither here nor there. By all means, dress in your best gown ($4 to get in if you do, $6 if you don't) for this little nostalgic party. And enjoy heartily the music of the Two Guys, who are spawned from Pinback, Thingy, and Physics, and incorporate the sweet, contemplative sounds and pretty guitar of Pinback, with some of the highest boy vocals ever. It's time to forget the past and forage into the future with a magical slowdance or two. And hey, I still need a date. JWS

EDDIE MONEY
(Crystal Ballroom, 1332 W Burnside)
I dig Eddie Money because once--I dunno, like 3, 4 years ago--I wrote a preview of one of his shows. No. Wait. It gets better. Don't stop reading. So, the photo that the magazine used was a live shot of Eddie singing into his microphone, but the mic was REAL close to his face. So, I titled the photo caption "Eddie Money eating his microphone." Well, I was canned shortly thereafter but, to this day I can still make myself pee my freakin' pants with laughter when I think about that. What? It's NOT funny, you say? Yeah, I know. I'm actually the only one that ever thought it was. What about his music, you say? Who cares. But did you know he once attended New York's Police Academy? Now THAT'S funny. Come on; admit it. Whatever, dudes. Loosen up. ADAM GNADE

NAKED VIOLENCE, FREELANCE TERRORIST, WHEN YOU DIE, ELECTRIC EYE, DEVOUR
(Ash, 225 SW Ash)
The only name on this lineup that does not directly imply some sort of carnage is Electric Eye. Fittingly, their music has a deceptive quality that lets them slide in with the super hard, fast, and loud crowd, yet their music is straight up palatable pop that your mom might have been shaking in her mini dress to. Uh, except it's super hard, fast, and loud. And the singer does everything in a fantastic hardcore scream-growl as he bounces all over the stage, punching himself into the front rows which--awesomely--are often full of rad chicks shakin' it. MS

SUNDAY 3/16

THE FLESHIES, LOPEZ, GREEDY TEXAS BASTARDS
(Satyricon)
If ever a song title ably forecasted a concert to come, it's the Fleshies' "Maelstrom of Whirling Bullshit." As fast and filthy as a group fronted by one Mr. Dirt should be, this Oakland-based quartet's diesel-fueled dervish blends its indecipherable yowls, jagged riffs, and a bludgeoning rhythm section at the "liquefy" setting. AM

BASTINADO, THE MISS, ANDI CAMP, TRANSMISSION
(Blackbird)
Bastinado's name might as well be Basstinado (yuk, yuk). No really, they tend to play so low that you picture them all with their guitars slung down around their ankles. This is in deep contrast to the occasionally too watery, high-pitched vocals. So if you're still fascinated with the whole fast/slow, weak/tough, loud/soft, stop/start dynamic, this is a good demonstration of it. Baltimore's The Miss play really satisfying, neck rolling, kinda filthy sounding punk. MS

MONDAY 3/17

DJ VADIM
(Fez, 316 SW 11th)
See Music Pg 17

I-SAY, INSTIGATORS, 7TH SEAL(Mt.Tabor) To me, nothing says St. Patrick's day quite like reggae. The rastaman doesn't have to alter his intoxicant with hazardous food dye; it's already green. While you're enjoying a decidedly mellow-vibing St. Paddy's at Mt. Tabor, meditate on the fact that while the Instigators and 7th Seal may be partly responsible for the upcoming armageddon/rapture, any reggae band named after a Bob Marley lyric has just got to be good. TT

JESSICA BAILIFF
(Blackbird)
See My What a Busy Week Pg 13

CHINGA TU RECORDS RELEASE PARTY WITH STEEV HISE, ATOLE, DIZZYSTARHOUSE, MAXIM BASA
(Nocturnal, 1800 E Burnside)
Steev Hise plays with a lot of weird electronic gadgets onstage. He drags R2D2-looking things to and fro, occasionally dabbles on a computer, and projects videos. The accompanying music is appropriately blip-bloopy, and the performance in general is fascinating, like watching a mad scientist fool around in a junkyard. JWS

TUESDAY 3/18

CURL UP AND DIE, SINCE BY MAN, NIHILIST
(Meow Meow, 7 pm)
It's a well-known fact that the more you scream whilst singing, the less people can understand what you're saying. Thus, if you're down with all-out screamo madness, who's to say you hafta write lyrics at all? I mean, if you scream gibberish like, "Ribba Rabbi Rah luh BUNT!" it's gonna sound more or less like somebody screaming, "Eat a dick, My President!" And THAT'S exactly what I think Curl Up and Die does. Like, dudes, half your record sounds like you're saying "brrawwwahhhwaaa caaaaaaaaa rrrrroah!" Just come out and admit it--you're not singing anything! AG

SILVER SURFER, MINMAE, ELDORAS, SERENE
(Blackbird)
Take a load off and enjoy the straightforward emotional indie sound of Eldoras. Counter that with the unemotional but entirely pleasing saunter of Minmae, and follow that up with Serene, which the people are telling me is ARENA ROCK. Wait... what? KS

WEDNESDAY 3/19

MINISTRY, LOLLIPOP LUST KILL, MOTOGRATER, NOTHING FACE
(Roseland)
Dude, how cool were those guys in high school that wore Ministry T-shirts with Doc Martens and baggy shorts? Y'know, the ones that had red, painful-looking acne and bad hair, but ALWAYS had some hotty hesher/goth girl clinging to their side? Wanna see what they're up to nowadays? Go to this show. In case you don't know what I'm talking about, Ministry was born back in 1981 as an industrial thingamabob. However, their latest record, Animositisomina, is so metal that if you carry it on a plane, it'll set off every x-ray machine in sight and the damn pigs will think you're a terrorist. AG

XIU XIU, BURNT PLOSIVES, THE DEAD SCIENCE
(Blackbird)
How in bloody HELL do you say this band's name? Shoe Shoe? Zoo Zoo? I dunno, forget the name. Anyway, whatever-they're-called's music stands on its own. Gloomy, gothed-out robo-love. Half garlic-buttery synthfunk, half cheese-grater-on-the-balls, industrial pain-bringin', gimmie-a-frickin'-Band-Aid noise. Can I get a drag off that clove? Hell yeah, that's what I'm talkin' about. Bauhaus sex jams, muthafracker. AG

NICE NICE, THE FORMLESS, DEAD WESTERN, USAISAMONSTER
(Berbati's)
The first Nice is guitarist Jason Buehler; the second Nice is drummer Mark Shirazi. Together they form Nice Nice, an energetic fusion of electronic pedal effects and found object experimentation. They make up catchy, wacky loops on the spot, then spend the rest of the designated jam time deconstructing them over and over again, all without ever losing that danceable groove. JWS