"Directed by Olivier Megaton" is not a phrase one often reads in a film's opening credits, but when that line comes up at the start of Transporter 3, it feels totally, utterly appropriate. This is because only a director with the name "Olivier Megaton" could truly bring life to Transporter 3, a film about what happens when Jason Statham drives his car on top of trains, what happens when Jason Statham drives his car on two wheels between two semi trucks, what happens when some dickhead steals Jason Statham's car and Jason Statham is forced to frantically pedal a bicycle and do some BMX-style jumps to catch up and get it back, what happens when Jason Statham takes his shirt off (twice!), what happens when a bunch of bad guys encircle a pissed-off Jason Statham, what happens when Jason Statham has to take care of/bone an incredibly grating kidnapped chick who at one point pops ecstasy and starts peeing on the floors of convenience stores, and also what happens when Ukrainian environmental policies go horribly awry. It also contains a moment when the American bad guy says of Jason Statham, "His beloved car will be his grave," which, obviously, is an excellent line.
Kudos, Olivier Megaton. Kudos.