STORM SURFERS 3D Pictured: a wave!

HOW MUCH do you like waves? How much do you like white people on top of waves? Or under them? Next to them? Hovering above them in helicopters? Can you watch a 3D movie without throwing up? These are the questions you must ask yourself before embarking on the wave-filled journey that is Storm Surfers 3D. If you can check off a handful of these boxes, boy, is this a movie for you.

Surfers 3D follows two plucky Australian surf pros (Tom Carroll and Ross Clarke-Jones) and their meteorologist hanger-on (Ben Matson) as they scour the Pacific for... really big waves. Presumably, you will be seeing this movie for the waves. There are a lot of frankly impressive waves, and I'm saying that as someone who hasn't thought more than 30 seconds about the ocean at any given time. The 3D is a boon here, capturing the scale and intensity of these monsters, and the underwater cinematography is often breathtaking. The soundtrack is Koyaanisqatsi-esque: Moody and occasionally dissonant, it smoothly underscores the impressive natural forces at work.

My main problem with Surfers 3D is all the stuff that doesn't involve waves. For the intermittent interviews with random surfers, the interviewers couldn't track down one who wasn't a white guy. It's as though 2002's seminal Blue Crush hadn't happened. Or as though Pacific Islanders didn't invent the sport.

There's also some hammy reality-show-style intrigue tacked on that harms the otherwise groovy nature porn. WILL they find big waves? (Yes.) WILL they fall off their surfboards? (Sometimes.) There's no real sense of peril, as these doofs are the ones faffing into the middle of the ocean, at considerable expense, for no other reason than to get tossed around by waves. From the waves' perspective, making their lives difficult is probably self-defense.