WHAT'S HOT AND WHAT'S SNOT 

Trends for Today's Troubled Post-Teens

It's that time of year again. Sweaters are taken out of storage. Fields are harvested. Little children hang their stockings out for Rosh Hashanah. And our nation's newsstands overflow with thick magazines brimming with promised insights into fall's sizzling trends. This year, in an effort to cull these many voices into one distinct, emphatic hum, we have taken the liberty of studying all the best publications (ie: COSMO girl!) in order to present to you the definitive list of what's hot and what's not for Fall 2000.*

* Of course, we could be wrong.

WHAT'S HOT

Protesting
Sarcasm
Jews
Russell Crowe
Dennis Quaid
Robin's egg blue
Asphyxiation
Dating
Eating with your fingers
Capital punishment
Skyrocketing health insurance costs
"Fuck me" pumps
Banning partial birth abortions
Bulimia
portlandmercury.com
Funny faces
Corns and bunions
Reality based television
Aimee
Pre-nups
Unity
Unfettered optimism
Knowing what you want
Tibias
The X-Men
Hacking
Shooting from the hip
Berlin
Going "Felicity"
Smart alecks
Losing your moral compass

WHAT'S NOT

Voting
Irony
Episcopalians
Dennis Quaid
Russell Crowe
Black
Drowning
Roofies
Hand washing
Justice for poor people
Healthcare reform
Sex
Roe v. Wade
Anorexia
Internet porn
Grotesque physical deformities
Gout
Reality based politics
Amy
Post-ops
Disenfranchisement
Research
Knowing who you are
Clavicles
The Fantastic 4
Stalking
Putting your shoulder to the wheel
Chicago
Going "postal"
Smart bombs
Losing your wallet

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