Two Kids are Lâil Angels. Two are Lâil Devils.
Why All Four are Perfect
Dancing on the Edge
The Everyday Struggle of Middle Class Parents
A Lack of Education
How One Mom Sparked a National Debate on Teaching Abstinence in the Classroom
Parent to Parent
“Get on Team Parent”
Why Talk About God?
Secular Parenting for a Less-Jerkish Future
In our current age of information and globalization, itâs easy for secular people to see the connections between tragedy, ignorance, and religious zealotry. Conversely, the devout may see our global crises as the consequences of the growing distance away from religion. Cynicism (or worse, contempt) can pervade the way we view those with beliefs different from our own.
But, as Wendy Thomas Russell points out in her new book, Relax, Itâs Just God: How and Why to Talk to Your Kids About Religion When Youâre Not Religious, religion is just one aspect of cultureâlike music, food, and clothing. As parents, one of our most fundamental jobs is to raise our kids to treat people with an equal amount of respect, kindness, and compassion, regardless of whether that person believes in evolution, resurrection, or winged beasts made of pasta.
Relax: Itâs Just God is valuable for so many reasons. The book offers helpful timelines for how to talk to kids about religion at every age and includes a handy appendix with the CliffsNotes version of each major religion of the world, along with ways to observe their holidays in a secular way. The bookââŹâ˘s full of useful tools that you and your kids can use when confronted by religious peers and well-meaning family members. Best of all, it handles a potentially heavy topic with a lighthearted sense of humor, giving the reader the sense that we really can relax about it.
True Parent had an email conversation with Wendy Thomas Russell about her book, and why we need religious literacy now more than ever. (Itâs not just so kids arenât jerks to people different from them, either, though that certainly does matter.)
âReligion is hugely important to so many people in our lives,â Thomas Russell says, pointing out that most of us come from families that observe at least some religion. âItâs also infused into our culture and language and art and literature. We can create culturally illiterate children, but why would we want to?â
As uncomfortable as we might be discussing our own beliefs (or lack thereof) with our kids, children need a vocabulary for expressing and defending their own ideas. And even though most secular parents donât want to indoctrinate kids into nonbelief, it can happen just the same if we avoid the topic altogether.
Thomas Russell explains that â[W]e have so many subconscious ways of communicating our feelings; the simple act of not talking about religion can send a message that adopting a faith isnât really a viable option for our kids. We may not be trying to send that message, but our kids will receive it all the same.â
A working knowledge of world religions can be extremely important to how a kid grows up. As Thomas Russell points out, âliteracy is a prerequisite to tolerance. Itâs hard to show true compassion for things we donât understand. If I said, 'Iâm not black so Iâm not going to bother telling my kids about black people,â you would say: 'That doesnât make any kind of sense.â And youâd be right. We fear what we donât understand. And in the United States, where 87 percent of the population is religious, avoiding the subject of religion with our kids doesnât make any kind of sense.â
Thomas Russell also suggests that teaching kids about religion can help them feel free to come out of the secular closet with a minimized risk of being bullied for his beliefs.
âA kid who is literate in Bible stories, for instance, is not nearly as likely to stand out as being 'differentâ in conversations about religion,â she says. âIt shifts the conversation from the truth of the stories to the stories themselvesâwhich is safer ground to stand on. Shared knowledge can read a lot like shared values.â
Talking about religion is a lot like talking about sex was for our parents, reminds Thomas Russell. Fortunately, we get to choose where our kids learn about both topics first.
âIf we donât talk to our kids about religion and make clear that weâre open to those discussions, someone else will have the conversation for us. If the 'someone elseâ is a charismatic leader from a fundamentalist cultâand your kid is feeling curious (and, perhaps, a tad rebellious)âthen, you know, God help us all.â
Relax: Itâs Just God is available in bookstores now.