SOUTHWEST

Ash Street Saloon

225 SW Ash

The Ash Street Saloon is a dive bar. It is very good at being a dive bar. The happy hour food is cheap and pleasantly greasy, most notably the $3 burger. At that price point, you might expect something fast food-esque, but no. It's an actual real burger. It's not a fancy burger, mind you, but it is a solid bar burger that fits nicely into your face. The $3 quesadilla is similarly unadorned. It is cheese, carbs, and not very much money. It is perfect. The beer (and we're talking about actual good beer) is all of $2.75 and it will make you wonder why you ever overpay for booze. Sure, you might have to sit next to a 65-year-old stoner who wants to talk about 'Nam, but so what? Cheap food and booze, people! JS

Happy Hour: daily 4-8 pm, reduced-price beers & wells, $2-3 menu

Cassidy's

1331 SW Washington

Overheard at Cassidy's, 12:30 am: "Who said, 'Immigration is more important than knowledge'?" Even she knew she meant "imagination," but nobody questioned it. A 36-year-old bar that feels at least 135, Cassidy's is the perfect place to downplay how drunk you are. And unlike other downtown spots that claim to be open "late," the posted hours at Cassidy's promise service till 2 am, every damn night. When it's 1:30 am and you're feeling good (not great) and you need a burger and a $4 well drink—and want to be swaddled in dark wood and frosted glass and an orange-lit sign above the bar that says PRESCRIPTIONS—Cassidy's is the neon beacon pulling you by the liver toward the highway. And by the way, just because that fat, juicy burger ($8) comes with fries doesn't mean you don't deserve some Brussels sprouts (in a slow-burning sambal vinaigrette, $7) or a hearty mac 'n' cheese ($7), too. TR

Happy Hour: daily 4-6 pm, 10 pm-2 am, $5 wine, $4 wells and drafts, $6-8 menu

Kelly's Olympian

426 SW Washington

Good ol' Kelly's Olympian! It's been around since horses roamed the streets of Stumptown. I bet back then, even the horses liked to stop in to lap up a cheap bevy or two and munch down juicy burgers made all the more succulent by Kelly's $5 happy-hour price tag. This place is a much-needed haven of sanity from the rest of downtown—it's divey, hopping with after-work meet-ups, and festooned with neon and motorcycle accents. It's also one of the rare downtown happy hours that goes until 7 pm, so you have time to get all your work done, and roll in after upper management have already cashed out their martini tabs. Grab a beer and gobble up mac 'n' cheese bites ($6) with ranch dipping sauce, like a good little worker bee. CF

Happy Hour: daily 4-7 pm, Sun-Thurs 11 pm-1 am, $3 wells, $4 wine, $1 off drafts, $3-6 food menu


SOUTHEAST

Devils Point

5305 SE Foster

The drinks at Devils Point are always strong and dirt cheap, but for eight hours every day the happy hour discount makes them redonkulously affordable. It's so you'll have plenty of dolla billz to lay at the feet of Portland's best strippers. Those gals really do earn it. To wit, during a recent Sunday happy hour the power went out on SE Foster, and thanks to romantic candlelight and a dude's iPhone, our strippers kept dancing. It felt like the world's best suburban basement speakeasy. I wouldn't concern yourself with dining at Devils Point, though—save your money for the lady who's dreamily shaking it to the Drive soundtrack. CF

Happy Hour: daily 11 am-7 pm, $2.50 wells, $2 drafts, $3.50 micros, half-off menu

Kay's Bar

6903 SE Milwaukie

Kay's is my favorite bar in all the city. (Sorry, Moon & Sixpence—you've been ever so slightly edged out.) It's a cozy, wood-paneled joint brimming over with longtime patrons, moviegoers, older neighborhood folks, and rowdy roller girls all stuffed into booths lining a mirrored wall. And the staff are the nicest people ever. The bar's kick-ass daily happy hour includes some truly excellent pub grub. I'd recommend the BLT wrap ($5), the basic and tasty burger ($4), or the huge piles of poutine ($7) and loaded-up nachos ($6). Their grilled veggie salad ($7) is also the BOMB. Kick back and suck down a few well cocktails ($3) or micro pints ($3), while you watch the entire 'hood walk through the door. CF

Happy Hour: daily 3-6 pm (Mon 3-8 pm), $3 wells & drafts, $2 PBRs, $1-7 menu

Roscoe's

8105 SE Stark

Friendly barfly hangout Roscoe's is a beer oasis in Montavilla. Especially when they're having a special keg untapping... then look out, 'cause this place gets BANANAS. I checked out their happy hour on one such night, and the joint was mobbed with beer snobs, who usually know a good thing when it comes to drinkables. They weren't wrong. Roscoe's has a live taplist cam so you can check out their constantly changing lineup, and a really great happy hour food menu with smaller portions of their Southern menu, including oyster sliders ($4), a big mixed green salad with blackened chicken (or catfish or oysters) for $5, gumbo ($5), and catfish strips ($5). The blackened chicken sliders ($4) were little bites of yumminess. Just stay clear of the beer dorks from Willamette Week, who'll totally cut in line in front of everyone, because that's how they front. CF

Happy Hour: daily 2-6 pm, $1 off wells, $3-5 food menu

Star Bar

639 SE Morrison

Long ago, the frightening downtown weekend scene began making shallow forays to the Eastside, and while Dig a Pony may bear the brunt, even Star Bar—beloved by the city's punks and bikers—has been invaded. Luckily, if you avoid the Friday/Saturday rush you'll find the same great old joint, with DJs flipping vinyl to pass the time in between playing with their band(s), and cheerful vegan Jell-O shots staring you down from the fridge. It's a bit too clean and healthy to be a true dive (minus the bathrooms, which are done up in the classic CBGB style). The happy hour here is long and seemingly underutilized, but there's a roster of tasty eats for just $2.50, including beef/pork/veggie sliders, beef/chicken/tofu skewers served on a blessed mound of spicy brown rice (yes, brown!), fried spuds, and—my favorite indulgence—a hot soft pretzel with mustard. It's $3.50 for salads (I'm a fan of the house, which has dried cranberries), or just go for the full-meal deal with a $5 burger. The $3 wells, $5 wine (poured from a tap), $3 microbrews, and $1.50 PBRs won't hurt the wallet, either. MS

Happy Hour: daily 4-8 pm, midnight-close, $5 wine, $3 wells, $3 drafts, $1.50 PBR, $2.50-5 menu

Tom's Restaurant and Bar

3871 SE Division

If when you think of "diner food," you think of overpriced "reinterpretations" of American classics, GO AWAY! But if you appreciate diner food for the miracle it really is, then you probably already know the joy of soaking up a hangover with pancakes and juice at this seriously underrated, East Coast-style diner at the corner of SE Division and César E. Chávez. At Tom's Restaurant and Bar, the "greasy spoon" is legit COVERED in grease, THANK GOD, and happy hour booze 'n' snacks are outlandishly cheap: Pints on draft are $2, well drinks are $3 (and strong), plus there are FIVE SNACKS for $3 or less. FIVE! The quesadillas and tater tots are perfectly serviceable and filling, and best consumed in a cozy wide-berth booth, where you can hunker down, watch the Blazers, and snack like a champion while classic rock emanates from a speaker overhead, at a refreshingly sedate volume. Take a load off! MB

Happy Hour: daily 3-6 pm, reduced-price cocktails, shots, beer, & wine, $2-4 menu


NORTH/NORTHEAST

Alibi Tiki Lounge

4024 N Interstate

The tiki bar phenomenon, once such a swank exultation of postwar American hegemony, isn't aging so well. Charming appropriations of Polynesian culture seem more racist than festive these days. And if not done well, the colorful rum drinks at its heart hit the tongue with a blunt, cloying force in an era (and a town) where subtle and daring mixology is like a religion. So it goes for the Alibi, long a neon refuge in North Portland. Sure, its rep for late-night karaoke is well earned. But you can do better for a post-work nosh and sip. The dark décor is disconcerting when it's sunny outside and the island is deserted. The signature drinks ($5)—a Mai Tai and a Sex on the Beach—reek of the rail booze they're made from. And while the theme-keeping Kahlua-branded pulled pork ($6) isn't bad (if seemingly Kahlua- free), the rest of the menu's a bunch of uninspired grease bombs. DCT

Happy Hour: daily 3-6 pm, $2 PBR, $3 wells, $4 drafts, $5 specialty cocktails, $3-7 menu

Beulahland

118 NE 28th

One of NE 28th's reliable standards, the charming, dim, and comfortable Beulahland does what it does and does it well. Beneath all the Timbers Army ephemera, there's a rock-solid, down-to-earth happy hour menu of nachos, sliders, hummus, hot wings, and house-made pickles (on my most recent visit, they were pickled green beans for $3, which to my infantile palate sounded horrible, but turned out to be fantastically addictive). There are $3 cocktails—like the gin and lemonade "Sidewalk Sipper," and a bourbon and soda "Sassafras" whose only drawback is a weirdly textured ginger puree. Here's a tip if you're laying off the sauce: They also have Ovaltine. A lot of places won't make you an Ovaltine, especially if you are older than eight. But Beulahland will! Another tip I will give you is Ovaltine is fucking delicious. EH

Happy Hour: daily 4-7 pm, $2 Hamms, $3.75 drafts, $3 wine & wells, $3-4 cocktails, $2-6 menu (plus $1 off all regular food items)

Club 21

2035 NE Glisan

Prominent in any decent argument over Portland's finest dive, Club 21 is like a booze-soaked German hunting lodge amid the wastes of NE Sandy. The Club's also all about burgers, and its happy hour pricing gives you very little reason to look elsewhere on the menu. For four hours on weekdays the bar's got $1 off food and most drinks. Drink whatever feels right, but put some thought into that burger. Club 21's menus include a build-your-own section that allows you to create decadent and sloppy monstrosities. If you're realizing your full potential, you'll craft a sandwich of such ridiculous heft that $1 off isn't going to make much of a difference, price-wise. But it's something, you know? We're coming out of a recession. DVH

Happy Hour: Mon-Fri 3-7 pm, $1 off food, wells, & wine, 50 cents off drafts

The Florida Room

435 N Killingsworth

The Florida Room is a rare bird in this town. It's your typical, no-bullshit corner dive bar—strong pours, low prices, cans of brew, vintage Rainier beer gewgaws everywhere—except it spends an uncommon amount of time washed in sunlight, thanks to the large windows from its days as a flower shop (and other incarnations). It's also a place where black and white Portlanders both find themselves bellying up at the same bar. You can settle for slightly discounted rail liquor or something from a decent draft beer list (50 cents off), but the food's so cheap that you ought to splurge on a house cocktail (Like the juicy Awesome Magic Five! $6!) or one of the Florida Room's many varietals of infused spirits (yummy cucumber gin!). My advice? Go with the beef sliders ($4), a reasonable, if under-spiced facsimile of what you'd find at White Castle. DCT

Happy Hour: daily 3-7 pm, 50 cents off wells & drafts, $3-4 menu