Fixie—Snide fixed-geared bike jokes are the new snide vegan jokes, but these swift bikes actually take some skill to ride. Lacking a freewheel, fixies can't coast and are powered entirely by buff bikers. The trick to spotting a fixie? Try turning its pedals backward—a fixie's won't budge.
Trackstanding—The favored sport of fixie riders, this is the art of stopping at red lights without putting a foot down. Don't even try to compete.
MAX and streetcar tracks—A bicyclist death trap! Everyone eats it on these ONCE—and forevermore remembers to only cross the tracks at an angle.
$242—The fine for running a red light, a stop sign, or making an illegal turn off the transit mall.
Bike polo—Like regular polo—but without the cardigans and horses—with homemade mallets and Hamm's. Bike polo happens every Tuesday at Portland State and Sundays at Alberta Park.
Tall bike—A handcrafted cycle made from welding several bikes into one super-tall bike frame. Often ridden by punk clowns and people who like punk clowns, these unique steeds also spawned a new sport: tall-bike jousting.
Ghost Bikes—White bikes locked as memorials at the scenes of fatal bike wrecks.
Pedalpalooza—The biggest free bike festival in America, right here in your own frontyard every June. Hosted by the bike-fun group Shift (shift2bikes.org).
Front light, rear reflector—The law in Portland, Oregon.
Helmet—Not the law in Portland, Oregon, if you're over 16. But still the nation's cheapest health insurance plan.
Bicycle Transportation Alliance—Love 'em or hate 'em, the BTA is Oregon's biggest bike advocacy group and they're working to keep you safe and legal.
World Naked Bike Ride—Five thousand nudies on bikes ride through the streets on their way to a massive free dance party during Pedalpalooza. (Confidential to prudes: It's more fun than it sounds.)
Zoobomb!—The infamous weekly tradition of bombing down the steep hill from the zoo on freak bikes recently got more legit when the city built the quasi-legal cyclists their own statue on W Burnside & 13th. Stop by at 9:30 pm on Sundays to see what the fuss is about.