Opening This Week

The Foursome

Four men shoot the shit while playing golf. Jack Oakes Theater, 2820 NE Sandy Blvd, 238-9692, Thurs-Sat 8 pm, through Sept 1, $10

The Posture Queen
The relatively new Portland company, Hand 2 Mouth, presents the story of Tommy "Issan" Dorsey, a sailor-turned-drag-queen-turned-junkie-turned-commune-leader-turned-Zen-Buddhist-master. Rose City Ballroom, 700 NE Dekum, 283-3311, Thurs-Sun 8:30 pm, Sun 4 pm, through Sept 2, $8-10

One Week Only

A Frolic by the Sea: Cabaret and Sideshow
You have but one night to catch this act, which features hula-hoop contortions, sword swallowing, and a "Live Mermaid Show." Dante's, 1 SW 3rd Ave, 226-6630, Sat 11:30 pm, $8, or $5 with old fashioned bathing suit

* Holy Goats
Performance Works presents another episode of their improvisational dance series. Fun, spontaneous, and highly recommended. Performance Works NorthWest, 4625 SE 67th Ave, 777-1907, Sun, 2 pm, $7, includes bagels and coffee

Closing This Week

I Love You, You're Perfect, Now Change

Triangle Productions presents this witty musical tribute to the ups and downs of romantic relationships. World Trade Center Auditorium, 121 SW Salmon, 239-5919, Fri-Sat 8 pm, through Aug 10, $23-$25

Current Runs

Come, Pee Your Pants
Normally, you shouldn't have to pay your hard-earned cash just to pee your pants, but in this case, there are probably some laughs thrown in as well. Six on Shakespeare, at the Miracle Theater, 525 SE Stark Street, 736-1027, Fri-Sat 10:15 pm, through Aug 25, $7-9

Ernest In Love
A musical based on Oscar Wilde's The Importance of Being Earnest. See review this issue. Lakewood Theatre Company at Lakewood Theater for the Arts, 368 S State St, 635-3901, Thurs-Sat 8 pm, Sun 7 pm, through Aug 19, $18-20

Harold and Game Piece
An evening of improv divided into two parts. Of the two, Game Piece sounds more intriguing, with the rules for the improv depending on whatever board game in suggested by the audience. Brody Theater, 1904 NW 27th Ave, 224-0688, Sat 9 pm, through Sept 1, $8

I Ought To Be In Pictures
Neil Simon's poignant look at a has-been Hollywood screenwriter whose long-lost teenage daughter reenters his life. Sylvia's Class Act Dinner Theater, 5115 NE Sandy Blvd, 288-6828, Thur-Sat 6:15 pm, Sun 5:15 pm, through Aug 25, $31.95

Night Baseball
Call In Sick Productions is putting this one on, though it follows Theatre Vertigo's The Baptism, and even seems connected to it in that it is about issues of race and violence. It's a story of five men who play poker every month to see who gets first crack at kicking a random black man's ass. It's actually pretty disturbing, and cruises along for a good while. Despite its cliches, it's helped along a great deal by the performance of Don Sky, who is touching and hilarious as the crotchety old father of Pete, the leader of the group and the biggest advocate of beating up black dudes. Not coincidentally, when Sky's character goes quiet, and the play gets serious about its Issue, things start to get a whole lot less interesting, not to mention melodramatic. The ensemble is tight, though, and it might be worth seeing just for the performance of Sky. Russell Street Theater, 116 NE Russell , 306-0870, Fri-Sat 10 pm, through Aug 18th, $8

The Baptism
A religious debate filtered through the plot of a yojng boy seeking salvation in a Baptist church. The Baptism tells the tale of a young boy (Ingrid Carlson), who approaches a Baptist church so he can be baptized and cleansed of his sins. It seems that kiddo has an affinity for jerking off during his daily prayer sessions, which have occurred after every meal for the past year. The math is easy: three meals a day; 365 days in a year... that's 1095 prayer-jerk offs. Playwright, Amiri Baraka's challenging script is too much for the folks at Theatre Vertigo to handle. Baraka is lyrical, and often ambiguous, but his plays nonetheless have carefully structured sequences of dramatic action. The Vertigo cast seems to have forgotten this fact in their eagerness to give sweaty, shouting power to every word of the poetic dialogue. The result is an unending stream of hyperactive mania. A more varied approach in terms of pacing and energy would have isolated key moments, and thus made them more powerful. Instead, it all seems like it's supposed to be powerful, which somehow isn't powerful at all. Russell Street Theater, 116 NE Russell , 306-0870, Thurs-Sat 9 pm, through Aug 18, $10