The day itself may have come and gone, but guess what, Charlie Brown: Christmastime is still here. It lingers in the days before our last big weekend. And the ferocity with which most will bid 2016 adieu suggests that maybe the best suggestion for this week is to seek out more laugh-filled and laid back entertainments to keep yourself a little even-keelish. Monday has more than a few holiday-flavored events for those who'd rather pretend Christmas has one more day left in it, Tuesday celebrates local champions in the hip-hop and movie-making fields, Wednesday's got a secret stand-up show filled with hand-picked national comedians being super-sneaky, and Thursday's got a big and bold stand-up show featuring some of our city's funniest comics. The last week of 2016 has a lot in store; hit the menu below and choose wisely.

Jump to: Monday | Tuesday | Wednesday | Thursday

Monday, Dec 26

Cinnamon Bear Cruise
Behold, the long-held Portland tradition of taking your kid on a boat to hang out with a giant candy-scented bear. Featuring holiday treats, fanciful characters, and photos with the Cinnamon Bear as he sits on his magical throne.
10 am, Portland Spirit, $22-30, all ages

Festival of Lights
Peacock Lane and PIR aren't the only places for a Portlander to go and gawk at the beautiful miracle of electricity. For almost 30 years the Grotto has transformed their peaceful interior into a brilliantly-lit winter wonderland. Take a slower, quieter stroll through the Christmas season.
5 pm, The Grotto, $6-11, all ages

Bachxing Day
The annual celebration of all things Bach returns, featuring collaborations with multiple local musicians who have an affinity for ol' Wolfgang.
7 pm, Curious Comedy Theater

Portland Youth Philharmonic: Concert at Christmas
American's first youth orchestra celebrates its 93rd season with a special post-Christmas concert at the Schnitz featuring two world premieres, as well as works by John Williams, Wagner, Debussy, and Dvoƙák.
7:30 pm, Arlene Schnitzer Concert Hall, $10-60

Christmas at the Old Church
This year's final performance of Michael Allen Harrison's annual holiday jubilee, featuring contributions from notable Portland artists and personalities coming together to bring Christmas to musical life.
7:30 pm, The Old Church, $22.50-49.50

Tuesday, Dec 27

Aminé
An all-ages show with the breakout Portland-based rapper whose debut single "Caroline" climbed the Billboard Hot 100 chart and helped land Portland hip-hop and R&B talent a well-deserved spot on The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon.
8 pm, Roseland, $15, all ages

From Coraline to Kubo: A History of LAIKA'S Films
Mark Shapiro of the stop-motion animation studio walks audiences through the process of making their modern classics, from script to screen, with an opportunity to get right up close to the puppets used in the movies.
7:30 pm, Cerimon House, $15

Hershey Felder as Irving Berlin
Trevor Hay directs performer and pianist Hershey Felder in this one-man show taking audiences through the life and music of famed composer Irving Berlin.
7:30 pm, Gerding Theater at the Armory, $25-75

The Brian Setzer Orchestra
The Schnitz presents an evening of holiday cheer with guitarist, songwriter, vocalist and three-time Grammy-Award winner Brian Setzer and his 19-piece orchestra.
7:30 pm, Arlene Schnitzer Concert Hall, $35.50-80

Side O Ranch, Tommy Suitcase, Phallasy
Brooklyn by-way-of Portland siblings Molly and Sam Dechenne return to their old stomping grounds with their blend of humorous and heartfelt anti-folk music.
9 pm, Kelly's Olympian, $5

Wednesday, Dec 28

Die Hard
Somewhere around a decade back, it became fashionable to answer “Die Hard” when asked “What’s your favorite Christmas movie?” People would laugh and go, “Yeah, I guess that counts.” But then—like bacon, unicorns, and LOLcats—the shit got played the fuck out, to the point where people now say “anything but fuckin’ Die Hard. God! Ugh!” Here’s the thing, though: No matter how many corny dipshits might vomit up this title as their go-to response? They’re not wrong. You could do a hell of a lot worse than arguably the single best action film ever made as your pick. So pull up a seat, kick off your shoes, and make some fists with your toes. Christmas has a machine gun. Ho-ho-ho. BOBBY ROBERTS
5:30 pm, 8:15 pm, Mission Theater, $3-4

Because, Pt. Juncture WA, Swansea
Mississippi Studios presents an evening with with the experimental bedroom pop project of Radiaton City's Randy Bemrose, featuring members of The Shins, Sama Dams, and members of Radiation City both past and present.
9 pm, Mississippi Studios, $5

Sam Henry's 60th Birthday: Poison Idea, Napalm Beach, Don't
The Liquor Store celebrates legendary drummer Sam Henry's 60th birthday with a stacked show that doubles as a crash course in Portland punk rock history.
9 pm, The Liquor Store, $15

Wooden Indian Burial Ground, MĂĄscaras, Ah God
The wonderfully garage-y Portland favorites Wooden Indian Burial Ground are a model of consistency. As a flag-bearer for the kind of reverbed, multi-pedaled psych proffered by bands like Thee Oh Sees or Ty Segall, WIBG have upped the ante on their new album, How’s Your Favorite Dreamer? Originally released in February, the LP traverses spastic psycho-rock on tunes like “Spazz Pony” and “Sad Mutations”—two of the record’s early breakout tracks. Frontman Justin Fowler’s manic guitar leads the charge, squirting bizarre squeals in walls of effects. The rhythm section is renowned, too, and bassist Samuel Farrell and drummer Daniel Galucki provide a rock-solid foundation for Fowler’s unrestrained six-string dalliances. RYAN J. PRADO
9 pm, Doug Fir, $6-10

Stand-Up Confidential
Helium hosts this top-secret stand-up showcase, featuring a carefully chosen, hand-picked lineup of nationally touring comics doing special one-off shows just for tonight. On the list for this installment: A comic with both Netflix and Showtime specials on his resume, one with appearances on Comic View and The Late Late Show, and one who has sat across from Marc Maron on WTF and lived to tell the tale.
8 pm, Helium Comedy Club, $15-23

Thursday, Dec 29

The Best of Cool Kids Patio Show
Portland comedian Andie Main and her summertime variety show returns to the Doug Fir for a special indoor "best of" showcase. Featuring stand-up from Nariko Ott, Caitlin Weierhauser, JoAnn Schinderle, and Anthony Lopez, along with live music by Leo Islo.
7 pm, Doug Fir, $10

Mini Blinds, Richard Album, Deadbeat
Local dream pop duo Mini Blinds wrap up a busy year with a headlining set at Turn! Turn! Turn!
8 pm, Turn! Turn! Turn!

Body Positive Modern Ballet
A way for Portlanders to focus on finding their grace and balance in fat-positive environment that allows attendees to more easily learn dance techniques, strength, and a way to more deeply connect with their own bodies.
6 pm, New Expressive Works, $5-10

Mel Brown B3 Organ Band
Local jazz lovers will lose a longtime pillar when the Pearl District club Jimmy Mak’s closes for good. At the same time, Mel Brown—the godfather of Portland jazz and a former Motown staff drummer—will lose three regular gigs he’s been holding down for a long, long time. From behind his kit (and always with a smile on his face), Brown anchors a septet that plays Jimmy Mak’s every Tuesday night and a quartet that plays every Wednesday. Tonight is the final night at Jimmy Mak's for his B-3 Organ Band, a quintet that’s been filling the club with exhilarating, airtight soul-jazz for two decades. Joining Brown in the band are organist Louis Pain, guitarist Dan Balmer, saxophonist Renato Caranto, and percussionist Curtis Craft. Together, these five dudes are a joy to watch—do so while you still can. BEN SALMON
8 pm, Jimmy Mak's, $6

Heat Unit, Dungeon Brothers, Longwood Soul
Keep it toasty at the Fixin' To with a performance from this brand new Portland hip-hop trio featuring members of Bitch'n.
9 pm, The Fixin' To, $5

Ryan Hamilton
An evening of observational stand-up delivered with a sarcastic and self-deprecating edge from this Idaho-born and raised comedian who has made appearances on The Late Show with Stephen Colbert, Conan, Last Comic Standing, and Comedy Central.
8 pm, Helium Comedy Club, $16-49

Gingerbread Workshop: How Does the Cookie Crumble?
OMSI hosts a gingerbread cookie workshop focused on designing buildings that can withstand earthquakes. Attendees will be able to build and test their own houses to see just how quake-proof a gingerbread house can become. This workshop is suggested for ages 18+. Beer and wine will be available for those with a valid ID.
6:30 pm, OMSI, $25

Lola Buzzkill's Holiday Review
A Christmastime variety show from Lola Buzzkill, with performances from local comedians, artists, dancers, singers, and more!
9 pm, The Liquor Store, $8

Don't forget to check out our Things To Do calendar for even more things to do!