Hope you've gotten your sleep and have lots of energy, because this coming weekend will require you to be strong and ready. We all have a lot to say about Trump and his terrible agenda, and luckily we're going to have a lot of opportunities to say it. On Inauguration Day proper there's the Rise Up and Resist Fascism Protest March, which will start in Pioneer Courthouse Square. On Saturday, you won't want to miss the Women's March on Portland, which will mirror the simultaneous massive demonstration in Washington, DC. And don't forget to support the LGBT commmunity at Sunday's Never Going Back demonstration, which aims to gear ourselves up to protect Queer rights. And after releasing your voices and making yourselves heard, there are still lots of opportunities to hear others, like Mic Crenshaw and Amenta Abioto ushering in the new weekly hip-hop series The Love Movement; or Ronin Roc spinning jams at Slay, a dance party for LGBT, minorities, and allies; or Kirsten Kuppenbender hosting a cathartic chapter of the hilarious comedy showcase Lez Stand Up. It's not just a busy weekend, it's a necessary one. Hit the links below and load your plate accordingly.
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Friday, Jan 20

Lez Stand Up: I Want a Dyke for President!
This edition of the hugely popular Lez Stand Up comedy show is going down on Inauguration Day—which means shit is about to get REAL. Join host Kirsten Kuppenbender as she introduces some of the world's most laff-tastic lesbians including Belinda Carroll, Mel Heywood, Diane Gasperin, Erin Jean O'Reagan, Caitlin Weierhauser, and Laura Anne Whitley, for an evening that will fucking eviscerate a certain misogynist presidential Cheeto. WM. STEVEN HUMPHREY
7 pm, Siren Theater, $10

Rise Up Inauguration Day Protest
An opportunity for you and other like-minded individuals to come together and send a message to the world at large that we will not stop opposing the harmful, destructive beliefs and behaviors embodied by President Trump and Vice President Pence on the day they take office.
4 pm, Pioneer Courthouse Square

1984
As the world plunges into actual dystopia, the Hollywood Theatre is keeping us sane. Conspicuously showing on the same night as you-know-who’s big dumb inauguration, 1984 is a film adaptation of George Orwell’s monumentally important novel. You heard the terms “Thought Police” and “Big Brother”? Yep, that’s from 1984. This movie version—starring John Hurt and released in the actual year 1984!—is required viewing to get us to 2020. NED LANNAMANN
9:30 pm, Hollywood Theatre, $9

The Love Movement
Inauguration Night coincides with the first installment of the Love Movement, a new weekly party organized by Andrew Stout and Jonny Sanders (AKA Jonny Cool Stargazer of Tyus' Rose Tribe). The series' debut features Amenta Abioto, an excellent up-and-coming local singer/songwriter and performance artist—keep an eye on her in 2017. CIARA DOLAN
9 pm, Valentine's, $2-5

Louis C.K.
Louis C.K. has become an unstoppable force in comedy. When he's not writing, directing, editing, and starring in his own FX show, Louie, he's working with his writing partner Pamela Adlon on her own terrific show, Better Things. I haven't even had a chance to check out his other two shows, Horace and Pete and Baskets, and now he's coming to town with new stand-up! Best get your tickets now or feel the pain of dealing with scalpers later!
8 pm, Theater of the Clouds, $25-50

Inauguration Day Book Giveaway
As a means to celebrate women and their strength, influence, and power, Broadway Books will distribute free copies of We Should All Be Feminists by Chimimanda Ngozi Adichie, one per customer, while supplies last.
all day, Broadway Books

Join the Resistance!
An opportunity to meet with community workers, leaders, and justice-minded individuals that becomes a dance party led by DJ Anjali & the Incredible Kid. Sponsored by organizations including Portland Jobs with Justice, Basic Rights Oregon, Oregon Working Families Party, Unite Oregon, and more.
8 pm, Melody Ballroom, $5-25

All Rise: Dame 3 Launch Party
A party for the release of Damian Lillard's latest pair of sneakers from Adidas, with a special performance from local superstar Aminé.
3 pm, Flex Space, free, all ages

Courtney Marie Andrews, Ryan Oxford, Nick Delffs
Last year Courtney Marie Andrews released Honest Life, an album best summed up by a line in its standout track, “How Quickly Your Heart Mends”: “The jukebox is playing a sad country song/For all the ugly Americans.” These lyrics serve as a mission statement for the Pacific Northwest songwriter, who paints American life in black ’n’ white, like Peter Bogdanovich’s classic film The Last Picture Show. And like Bogdanovich, Andrews explores the intersections of nostalgia and regret with a clear-eyed assessment of America’s so-called glory days. Whether you’re a fan of ’70s folk-rock or plain old country music, Andrews possesses the kind of diamond-in-the-rough voice that perfectly captures the struggle behind the American dream. She’s joined by Mama Bird Recording Company labelmate Ryan Oxford, who’s celebrating the release of his new Brian Wilson via the Shins-inspired record, Fa Fa Fa Fired. WILLIAM KENNEDY
9 pm, Mississippi Studios, $12

Candace, Skull Diver
Portland trio Candace describe themselves as witchgaze, and I think that's a pretty apt description of their lush, dreamy sound. If you've ever been a fan of the Cocteau Twins or felt yourself melting into a song like sugar into coffee, you're gonna dig it. COURTNEY FERGUSON
9 pm, Bunk Bar, $10

ChocolateFest
I mean, they're pouring like, a fuckin' ton of chocolate in its many delectable forms into the Convention Center for three full days. And you get to eat it all, if you want. This shouldn't be all that hard a sell. Plus there's wine, too! Chocolate and wine everywhere. Proceeds from the event benefit the World Forestry Center. Eat chocolate, drink chocolate, drink wine, save trees.
4 pm, Oregon Convention Center, $10-30

Kory Quinn & the Quinntessentials, Lewi Longmire & the Left Coast Roasters
Portland’s own rabble-rousing troubadour Kory Quinn is one of the hardest-working musicians in the folksinging business. He’s played incalculable shows in Oregon, books his own US and international tours, and has put out so many albums and EPs that even he has lost count. His songs have the kind of anthemic quality that, like Woody Guthrie’s, are neither defined nor constrained by passing fads. Though many folk and Americana singers of recent vintage sing songs about train-ridin’, whiskey-drinkin’, or good ol’ American insubordination, Quinn has committed himself fully toward this life, and tonight he celebrates the release of his new EP, Black Gold Blues. For his backing band, the Quintessentials, Quinn has assembled a veritable wrecking crew, with David Lipkind on harmonica, Taylor Kingman on guitar, Matt Cadenelli and Ben Nugent on drums, Jason Montgomery on lap- and pedal-steel, and Lewi Longmire on bass. With songs addressing wage inequality, the exploitation of the poor, police brutality, and, in the title track, our nation’s dependence of fossil fuel, Black Gold Blues is Quinn’s most front-to-back political statement yet, and it comes not a moment too soon. SANTI ELIJAH HOLLEY
9 pm, The Spare Room, $8

Hamilton Leithauser
Hamilton Leithauser’s new LP, I Had a Dream You Were Mine, is a study in how one songwriter from an already established outfit can not only flourish within his own alternate reality, but also produce music that is possibly more daring and artistic. As frontman for indie rock darlings the Walkmen, Hamilton canted confident odes over a foundation of propulsive guitars that produced arena-worthy sing-alongs and garage-pop overtures, a musical machine firing on all cylinders. When left to his own devices, an ambitiously tasteful collaboration with Vampire Weekend’s multi-instrumentalist Rostam Batmanglij emerges in which Leithauser’s soulful rasp is given ample space to stretch and soothe over beautifully sparse instrumentation. This allows his gifted storytelling to be all the more sentimental, resulting in pastiches that conjure images of a stylishly melancholic Rod Stewart waiting out an icy rainstorm in a dark Parisian bar. CHRIS SUTTON
9:30 pm, Star Theater, $20

Lavender Flu, Honey Bucket, Little Pilgrims
Honey Bucket's 2016 album, Magical World—released by Portland label See My Friends—is a mid-fi wonder, packed with woozy DIY spirit and wily hooks. Across 13 tracks, Vince Skelly (bass/vocals), Matt Radosevich (guitar/vocals), and Jon Grothman (drums) are somehow disheveled and charming, urgent and easygoing. BEN SALMON
9 pm, The Fixin' To, $5

Inauguration Day: Roe on the Rocks
The Oregon Women's Campaign School hosts a discussion on the methods by which basic rights can be protected under Trump, and how to not only protect reproductive freedoms, but to expand them.
6 pm, Lagunitas Brewing Community Room

The Election Monologues
Artists Repertory hosts the Portland chapter of this nationwide theater event asking people to take the stage and share their personal stories about what the election of Donald Trump means to them. Proceeds benefit the Oregon Food Bank.
7:30 pm, Artists Repertory Theater, $5

Rent
Jonathan Larson’s beloved Pulitzer Prize and Tony Award-winning musical comes to Portland in celebration of its 20th Anniversary.
7:30 pm, Keller Auditorium, $30-85

Double Mountain Beer Dinner
The Country Cat and Double Mountain team up to turn the Calico Room into a showcase for Adam and Jackie Sappington's traditional fare paired with Double Mountain's highly regarded brews.
6 pm, Country Cat Dinner House, $75

Jon Raymond
Portland-based author and screenwriter Jon Raymond reads from his new novel, Freebird, about a California family on the verge of going under in the face of trying times.
7:30 pm, Powell's City of Books

Saturday, Jan 21

Slay
Firstly, I've gotta hand it to Cake, Ante Up PDX, or whoever is responsible for calling this event "Slay" and putting that iconic image from Beyoncé's "Formation" on the flier—it's very effective marketing. Slay is a hip-hop party for LGBT, minorities, and open minded people, providing yet another safe space to twerk, blow off steam, and be yourself in our little sanctuary city. JENNI MOORE
9 pm, Holocene, $5

United Front Against the Trump Agenda
A rally and march featuring supporters and members of the local labor community making their opposition to the President-Elect's anti-union stance felt. Attendees are invited to lend their support to the Women's March on Portland occurring directly afterwards, as well
10 am, South Park Blocks

Women's March on Portland
Portland will absolutely be one of the cities engaging in this series of nationwide marches to show support for women's rights in the face of a serial sex-offender and his white supremacist friends entering the White House.
noon, Various Locations

The 2017 XRAY Awards
The second annual XRAY Awards brings you three parties in one night, beginning with a cocktail hour with music from Vikesh Kapoor, Lenore., and DJ Tex Clark. The awards ceremony will follow, with performances by Maggie Morris of Genders and DJs Klyph and Bobby D. Following the awards portion there will be an after party featuring a set from Nocturnal Habits, the new post punk and rock outfit spearheaded by Unwound's Justin Trosper and Sara Lund, and a special acoustic performance from Portland legends Fred & Toody Cole of Dead Moon.
5 pm, Marmoset Music, $15-200

Stories from Maclaren
An evening of one-act plays sourced from true stories by young men at MacLaren Youth Correctional, workshopped with playwright Francesca Piantadosi.
7:30 pm, Sellwood Playhouse, $10-15

Your Fault for Listening
A live recording of the local interview show that's also a comedy podcast. This installment is a special sort of crossover show, featuring the full cast of the wonderful and necessary comedy series Lez Stand Up, Laura Anne Whitley, Caitlin Weierhauser, Kirsten Kuppenbender, and Mel Heywood
7:30 pm, Ford Food & Drink

Back Fence PDX: Russian Roulette
The less-serious, more competitive version of the long-running local storytelling series (it's got a wheel o' topics, even), featuring true stories from Alex Falcone, Arthur Bradford, Jason Sauls, Camille Perry, Eden Dawn, and more. Hosted by B. Frayn Masters and Chris Williams.
9 pm, Curious Comedy Theater, $16-20

Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone: Oregon Symphony
In Hollywood, hell hath no fury like a fan of the books scorned. When it’s a series of children’s novels as beloved as J.K. Rowling’s Harry Potter, priority one is simply not to piss anyone off—a goal that’s apparent during the film adaptation’s enjoyable but fairly bland first installment, Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone. It’s unsurprising that for the score, the producers chose multiple Oscar winner and professional “safe bet” John Williams, a guy whose work (Star Wars, Indiana Jones, Jaws) is unfamiliar only to the deaf. And honestly, he nailed it. The eerie “Hedwig’s Theme” alone is a memorable gem: The first few bars always shattered my jaded teenage shell, and I’d wager that for people of a certain age it’s as recognizable a melody as anything else in orchestral music. If you’re feeling the need to indulge your inner super fan, tonight the Oregon Symphony will perform Williams’ score in sync with the movie as it plays on an enormous screen. NATHAN TUCKER
7:30 pm, Arlene Schnitzer Concert Hall, $35-115, all ages

Bombshell Vintage Rock Show
The vintage shop is closing its doors on Burnside, but is blowing the roof off the place before they hit the lights one last time, with live music from High Diving Horses, Stunning Rayguns, and more.
7 pm, Bombshell Vintage

What a Joke
Revolution Comedy's Andie Main put together this Portland edition of the nationwide ACLU comedy benefit, with some of the best stand-ups in the country coming together to give Trump all the shit he deserves and then some, with extra punch in PDX punchlines provided by Anthony Lopez, Belinda Carroll, Dinah Foley, and Mohanad Elshieky.
7 pm, Curious Comedy Theater, $12-15

Cher Drag Ball
RuPaul's All Stars Drag Race season 1 winner Chad Michaels makes his Portland debut with a drag and dance tribute to the Goddess of Pop.
9 pm, Dante's, $15-30

Gad Elmaleh
The Moroccan-French stand-up and actor who has been described as the "Ben Stiller of France" and the "Jerry Seinfeld of french comedy" swings through Revolution Hall for the Portland stop on his "Oh My Gad" tour.
8 pm, Revolution Hall, $30-35

Blowpony
The queer-centric dance night gets the new year started with a jam packed show featuring headlining performances from Zebra Katz and House Of Flora, music from DJs Airick X, Aurora, Just Dave, and Matt Consola, and go-go dancing from Heatherette, Charler Sharp, Nikki L, Johnny Cakes, Foxxy, and Lighthouse.
9 pm, Bossanova Ballroom, $9

Rebellion & Revolution: Hate
Where's the line? When a reality TV villain wins the presidency, and news reads like dystopian science fiction, the line between fiction and reality gets blurry. And when—and if—we manage to unplug, entertainment gets dicey: Is it okay to enjoy HBO’s soap operas while the world goes to shit? Where’s the line between letting ourselves engage with art and forcing ourselves to pay attention to the real world? The truth, of course, is that there is no line—art feeds on reality, and reality is affected by art. Which brings us to the Hollywood Theatre’s timely film series Rebellion & Revolution: Insurgent Cinema. Tonight: Hate, or La Haine (1995), which, in the aftermath of Parisian riots, examines the cruel intersections of race, class, and violence. ERIK HENRIKSEN
7 pm, Hollywood Theatre, $9

Sunday, Jan 22

Crystal Ballroom's 103rd Birthday Free-for-All
A blowout birthday party that spills into Al's Den and Ringler's Pub, kicked off by a family-friendly performance from You Who, as well as sets from Biddy on the Bench, Tim Connell, Bloco Alegria, and capped off by VJ Kittyrox's '80s Video Dance Attack. With brewery tours, tastings, drink and food specials, and football on the big screens.
2 pm, Crystal Ballroom, free

Never Going Back
A peaceful funeral-style procession, intended to draw attention to the Queer Resistance and the looming fight to protect Queer rights from bigots occupying positions of governmental power.
noon, Pioneer Courthouse Square

High on Fire
Unpopular opinion time: I’m kind of over Sleep. The band, not the rapper... or the time of rest in between daytimes. Don’t get me wrong, Sleep was—and is—a great band that put out some unimpeachable stoner/doom classics. And yes, they released a new single a few years ago, and yes, it was good. But live, the band has been bludgeoning its legion of fans with essentially the same material for years, and I’ve seen it. I don’t need to see it again. Sleep guitarist (and six-string god) Matt Pike’s other band High on Fire, however? Whole different ballgame. On their most recent album Luminiferous, Pike, drummer Des Kensel, and bassist Jeff Matz are devastating riff monsters, delivering a uniquely powerful brand of sludge-thrash that runs circles around just about every other likeminded band on the planet. But Luminiferous also finds the trio flexing its psychedelic muscle and adding more melody into the mix, particularly in Pike’s vocals. The results are glorious, and they prove that High on Fire is not just a great band—they’re a great band pushing themselves to be better. BEN SALMON
8 pm, Hawthorne Theatre, $20-25

Rose City Classic Dog Show
Dogs representing more than 175 breeds will compete in obedience, rally, and agility competitions as well as standing there and looking pretty at the Rose City Classic Dog Show. It’s a five-day event, and Sunday attendees can visit the Meet the Breeds booth. SHELBY R. KING
8 am, Portland Expo Center, $10-30, all ages

Drag Queen Brunch
Liven up your Sunday brunch with an early afternoon cabaret show featuring celebrity tributes, comedy, and glamour served up by some of Portland's premier drag queens. Coffee and brunch buffet is included with admission, but you'll need to bring extra funds for Bloody Marys or mimosas. Hosted by Sasha Scarlett.
noon, Doug Fir, $18-20

Whoopee! A Sex-Positive Variety Show
The Secret Society presents the latest installment of Whoopee! A Sex-Positive Variety Show, a new event produced and hosted by sex educator and comedic storyteller Amory Jane. Whoopee! will feature an array of Portland's best sex-positive entertainers showcasing their burlesque, stand-up, music, poetry, bellydancing, short erotic films, storytelling, mini sex ed lessons, and more.
7:30 pm, The Secret Society, $12

Bubble Trouble
Feminist stand-up troupe That's What She Said presents Bubble Trouble, a queer-centric comedy showcase to benefit Bradley Angle, a local nonprofit that serves domestic violence survivors of all genders.
7:30 pm, Siren Theater, $8

Attack of the 50 Foot Woman
People like to act as if the high-concept genre film reached its peak in the last 20 years, but Michael Bay and Joel Silver ain’t got shit on the late 1950s. That decade was all about answering the really interesting questions, like “What if a dude was also a fly?” or “What if a blob of shit ate a whole town?” and, of course, “What if a woman was 50 feet tall and sick to death of stupid men fucking her life up?” That last one got answered with these 66 minutes of sci-fi schlock from director Nathan Hertz. BOBBY ROBERTS
2:25 pm, 9:30 pm, Academy Theater, $4

Two Days After and Everything Ahead
Local singer-songwriter and storyteller Ed Haynes hosts a post-election open mic night featuring an array of post-election-themed performances and speakers. Proceeds go to benefit the Central City Concern.
7 pm, Mississippi Studios, $5-10

Don't forget to check out our Things To Do calendar for even more things to do!