Feast Portland
For one long weekend each year, Portlandâs hard-working Bruce Banner of a food scene gets angryâand we all like it a great deal. Itâs time for Feast, the Hulkified, drunken, eating-a-âsandwichâ-that-looks-nothing-like-a-sandwich food festival of your dreams. From Thursday through Sunday, culinary visionaries from around the world will swarm to town, joining Portlandâs own stable of incredible chefs in a whirlwind of hedonism that will test even the most committed bon vivant. This bad boy is popular and tickets have been on sale for months, meaning options for you latecomers are somewhat limited. But there are still opportunities to, say, get swankily wine-drunk in Director Park, or slam dance in what the fest describes as âa veritable mosh pitâ of face-stuffing delight in Pioneer Courthouse Square. Look, none of this stuff is cheap. Portland is sort of done with cheap. But the cityâs food star has also never shone quite so brightly. Gorge yourself sloppily in its glow. DIRK VANDERHART
Sept 14-17, Various Locations, Visit feastportland for a full list of venues and times.
Jim Gaffigan
Jim Gaffigan can handle the crowds at the Moda Centerâhe opened for the Pope in 2015. The 51-year-old pasty stand up legend has been consistently hilarious for years, known for his clean but, like, legitimately great jokes about food (his âhot pocketâ bit from 2006 is still funny) and laziness, religion, his family, and so on. Some people, like a handful of my colleagues, think heâs corny, but he may be the least hateable standup working today! DOUG BROWN
8 pm, Moda Center, $35.75-69.75
Deerhoof, Christina Schneider's Genius Grant, Mayya & the Revolutionary Hell Yeah!
Deerhoofâs songs are melodic but disjointed, mature but childish, crunchy but clean. The artistry of their sonic clashing is most obvious in the contrast of lead singer Satomi Matsuzakiâs sugary, high-pitched voice against shredding guitars and arena rock drums. Even at their most obscure and avant-garde, Deerhoofâs music is jubilant. The San Francisco bandâs new album, Mountain Moves, is like a dopamine rush to a fantastical world, but theyâre well aware of whatâs happening in the real one. Their Twitter account has more tweets about social justice than self-promotion, and theyâre donating the proceeds from Mountain Moves to the Emergent Fund, in case you needed any more proof that listening to Deerhoof is good for the soul. EMMA BURKE
9 pm, Mississippi Studios, $15-17
Marshall Crenshaw y Los Straitjackets, Roselit Bone
Marshall Crenshawâs 1982 self-titled debut is a textbook example of a great rock record marred by wonky sonics. The cavernous drums and echo-laden vocals recall the brief and awkward period when â50s and â80s production values merged, resulting in one of the decadeâs worst musical gimmicks. Nonetheless, Marshall Crenshaw contains two of the eraâs best guitar-pop songs: âSomeday, Somewayâ and âThere She Goes Againâ (whose ebullient melody is difficult to reconcile with lyrics that reference lite-stalking). The real gold resides in the deluxe remastered version of the album, however, which features an early 1979 pass of the song âWhenever Youâre on My MindââCrenshawâs best composition, which would be re-recorded (and anesthetized) for his second album, 1983âs Field Day. But the original, grittier take is everything a perfect power-pop song could hope to be: a jangling, pining paean to starry-eyed romanticism that gets better with every listen. MORGAN TROPER
9 pm, Dante's, $20
Minority Retort
Get ready to laugh that forest fire ash out of your throat because Portlandâs showcase for stand-ups of color, Minority Retort, is back, with three fantastic hostsâJason Lamb, Julia Ramos, and Neeraj Srinivasanâeven more and performers, including winsome Seattleite Nick Sahoyah to Mohanad Elshieky, king of jokes on Twitter. Go! Itâs just what you need. MEGAN BURBANK
8 pm, Siren Theater, $10
Tia Fuller Quartet
Saxophonist Tia Fuller has already secured herself a place in the pop pantheon after playing as a member of Suga Mama, the all-female ensemble that backed up BeyoncĂ© during her tours in support of BâDay and I Am... Sasha Fierce. Great as that nod from Queen Bey was, the Colorado-born jazz artist would surely have gotten her profile high enough on the strength of her skills as a performer and composer. Fullerâs 2012 album Angelic Warrior sheds some of her smoother, more romantic tendencies in place of a snappy, post-bop approach that, on tracks like âTailor Madeâ and âDescend to Barbados,â may not feel as open-hearted, but still carries a warm empathy amid her undulating solos. On âCherokeeâ and the title track, sheâs downright pugnacious, as she swings hard against the tumbling agitation of the rest of her band. ROBERT HAM
7:30 pm, 9:30 pm, Fremont Theater, $20-30
Drag Queen Bingo: CHAP Fundraiser
Hospital stays for children and families are made a little bit more colorful thanks to the Childrenâs Healing Art Project (CHAP), an organization that honors art as therapy and connects mobile teaching artists with children in crisis for empowerment. Ticket price to this FUNdraiser includes one drink, but subsequent beverages and rounds of drag queen-led bingo are $5 each. EMILLY PRADO
7 pm, Lagunitas Brewing Community Room, $10
Jenny Don't & the Spurs, The Dalharts
Jenny Don't and the Spurs play vintage country and western straight out of the lonesomest corners of mid-20th century America, Don't and her cohorts sound nothing like a museum piece; rather, there's grit, sadness, and an edge of danger to these rumbling-boxcar country songs. NED LANNAMANN
9:30 pm, LaurelThirst Public House, $7
Doug Benson
Helium presents a special one-off stand-up set with the comedian and actor known for his marijuana usage documentary Super High Me and his popular movie trivia podcast Doug Loves Movies. Note: What used to be a 4:20 set has now been moved to 5, allowing plenty of time to prepare accordingly before heading into the venue. And while you don't need to be stoned to appreciate Benson's brand of comedy, it certainly wouldn't hurt.
5 pm, Helium Comedy Club, $22
The Prince & Michael Experience
Dave Paul dedicates the dance floor to the everlasting magic that both Prince and Michael Jackson created over the course of their careers, including not just the hits, but the b-sides, the bootlegs, and the remixes, too.
9 pm, The Liquor Store, $10
Throwing Shade
On the podcast Throwing Shade, not to be confused with the English DJ of the same name, self-described âhomosensualâ Bryan Safi and âfeminastyâ Erin Gibson take it to the limit, all while they addressâand make fun ofââissues important to ladies and gays.â Theyâre socially conscious improv loudmouths playing sold-out shows across the nation, and youâre about to be seeing a whole lot more of them. SUZETTE SMITH
9 pm, Revolution Hall, $25
Don't forget to check out our Things To Do calendar for even more things to do!