For some people, you say "Christmas" and they hear Vince Guaraldi music, or sleigh bells chiming. For other peopleâour kind of peopleâthey envision pencil-thin moustaches and joyful filth of the kind John Waters gives to all the good and bad children of Portland every year. If you like your holidays dialed down a little (just a smidge!) Jane Lynch and Bill Murray are both in town, and if the birthday you prefer to celebrate isn't the (fictional) one the season is built around, why not join the parties for two of the city's best stand-up showcases? All that and Diamond Joe, too! Hit the links below and load your plate accordingly.
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Monday, Nov 27
The National
The National is known for playing stately rock ânâ roll thatâs torn between extremesâcalculated but also raw, steely and detached but also electrifying. Thatâs especially true on their new album, Sleep Well Beast, though its 12 tracks bring some unexpected fire to the equation on tracks like âDay I Dieâ and âTurtleneck.â CIARA DOLAN
8 pm, Arlene Schnitzer Concert Hall, $44.50-62.50, all ages
Revolution Comedy One-Year Anniversary
Letâs give it up for Revolution ComedyâAndie Mainâs monthly fundraiser series has been backing great causes while bringing a steadfast source of laughter to Curious Comedy throughout one of the darkest years on record. Tonight the show celebrates the occasion by supporting the activists at Donât Shoot Portland, and with beloved Portland comics Adam Pasi, Katie Nguyen, Marcus Coleman, and Daniel Martin Austin on the bill, you know youâll be rewarded generously for your donation to the cause. CHIPP TERWILLIGER
7 pm, Curious Comedy Theater, $12-15
Animals as Leaders, Periphery, Astronoid
Eight-string shredmeister Tosin Abasi started DC new age-y prog-metal band Animals as Leaders as a solo venture before recruiting a couple of like-minded noodlers to expand the band's sound. It's essentially music for those who prefer to fix their eyes on fretboards during live shows. Abasi will wow you with his finger flitting, so if that's your bag, then go forth. I'm sure it's something to behold. MARK LORE
7 pm, Crystal Ballroom, $25-30, all ages
Bela Fleck, Abigail Washburn
The story of BĂ©la Fleck and Abigail Washburn goes something like this: The best banjo player in the world meets an incredible, ambitious folk singer/songwriter (and fellow banjo virtuoso). They get married, start a family, make music, tour, and win a Grammy together. Now theyâre rolling into Portland to play songs from their new album, Echo in the Valley, a collection of mostly originals that push and pull on genre boundaries. As is always the case with these two, the music goes beyond bluegrass and folk into the worlds of jazz, prog, pop, and more. And while Fleck and Washburnâs ability to sound like a small orchestra is well-known, itâs even more striking on Echo, where they committed to recording only arrangements the two of them could reproduce live. That means seven types of banjo, Washburnâs beautiful voice, and simple percussion, like shoes tapping on the floor. BEN SALMON
7:30 pm, Newmark Theatre, $31-51
The Witches of Eastwick
DID YOU KNOW: The guy who directed Mad Max: Fury Road and Babe: Pig in the City also directed an adaptation of John Updike's supernatural feminist fantasy about a trio of Rhode Island witches (Cher, Susan Sarandon, and Michelle Pfeiffer) who are seduced and manipulated byâand seek delicious revenge uponâJack Nicholson, whose character is named Daryl but who is basically just Jack Nicholson: a lustful, piggish, disgusting (and disgustingly charming) demon of a man. BOBBY ROBERTS
6:45 pm, Laurelhurst Theater, $3-4
Castle, Bewitcher, Disenchanter
If youâve been sleeping on the blackened speed metal trident that is Bewitcher, youâd better wake up before they leave you in the dust. The past few years have been productive for this Portland trio, and itâs likely only a matter of time before they sign with a reputable metal label. After releasing their 2016 self-titled debut on three different formats by three different independent labels, last month Bewitcher was invited to play Frost and Fire, the West Coastâs premiere metal festival. Their self-described âheavy metal at the speed of Satanâ falls blasphemously in line with the likes of Midnight, Venom, and early Bathory, and no doubt went over like an inverted cross at Frost and Fire. Aside from the velocity and sneering darkness of their music, Bewitcher commands the stage like solid professionals that are ready to make a career out of devastating venues all over the world. ARIS HUNTER WALES
8:30 pm, Tonic Lounge, $7-10
Tuesday,Nov 28
Jane Lynch
The award-winning actor, comedian, and singer brings her unique Christmas show to Portland for a night of sentimental holiday favorites shot through with Lynch's comedic sensibilities.
7:30 pm, Newmark Theatre, $49-150
Strange Ranger, Little Star, Surfer Rosie, Floating Room
Heads up bargain huntersâOccidental Brewing and Mississippi Studios latest installment of the recurring Sweet 'n' Local showcase might be the best deal youâll come across all year. While a four-band bill might seem like overkill to some, getting the chance to catch an array of Portlandâs finest indie rock and pop acts without turning your pockets inside out makes this one well worth arriving early for. CHIPP TERWILLIGER
9 pm, Mississippi Studios, $5
Bill Murray, Jan Vogler & Friends: New Words
Renowned party monster Bill Murray joins forces with cellist Jan Vogler for a rare live appearance at the Arlene Schnitzer Concert Hall. Murray will lend his undeniable charm to American songs, poetry, and prose, all set to chamber music played by a backing band rounded out by violinist Mira Wang and pianist Vanessa Perez.
7:30 pm, Arlene Schnitzer Concert Hall, $50-150, all ages
Grindhouse Film Festival: Alligator
Before screenwriter John Sayles was known as the lyrical, incisive, and insightful scribe behind some of the most human films of the â80s and â90s (Eight Men Out, Passion Fish, Lone Star, The Secret of Roan Inish) he was something of a grindhouse wunderkind, churning out quick ânâ dirty schlock scripts thatâdespite being intended as low-budget genre ripoffsâmanaged to maintain a grasp on something resembling art. His first film was the mean-spirited Jaws riff Piranha, and he followed that up two years later with... a bigger, more ambitious Jaws riff, starring Robert Forster as a cop who descends into the Chicago sewers to face a giant man-eating mutant alligator. BOBBY ROBERTS
7:30 pm, Hollywood Theatre, $7-9
Com Truise, Christopher Willits
Prodigious New Jersey-based synth waver Com Truise (presumably an android of Scientology) is futurebeat progstep for the computer age. Equal parts Giorgio Moroder and Boards of Canada, sci-fi and psychedelia, it's analog as fuck, and replete with enough side-chained Linn drums and stuttering NES squelches to properly inflate your cerebellum. CHRIS CANTINO
10 pm, 45 East, $17
The Used, Glassjaw
The long-running emo rock act out of Orem, Utah return to Portland for a headlining show supporting their latest studio album, The Canyon. Long Island-hailing post-hardcore pioneers Glassjaw provide support.
8 pm, Roseland, $31-47
Jaclyn Friedman, Andi Zeisler
Boston-hailing writer, activist, and feminist Jaclyn Friedman reads from Unscrewed, her new book examining how the anxiety and fears felt by women in the world are byproducts of our toxic culture. Friedman will be joined in conversation by Andi Zeisler, cofounder of Bitch Media and author of We Were Feminists Once.
7:30 pm, Powell's City of Books, free
Wednesday,Nov 29
Pixies, The Orwells
One of the greatest bands (period), the Pixies have had a, shall we say, tumultuous history. They started in 1986, and crafted no fewer than five masterpiece albums. (Come On Pilgrim! Doolittle! Bossanova! Surfer Rosa! Trompe le Monde!) But then they broke up in 1993. But then they reunited in 2004! But then one of their key members, Kim Deal, bailed in 2013. And now, their current incarnationâin which original members Black Francis, David Lovering, and Joey Santiago are joined by Deal's replacement, Paz Lenchantinâare playing the Roseland for three nights. Even after all their ups and downs, the chance to see (most of) the motherfucking Pixies is one you shouldn't miss. Naturally, all three nights are sold out, so start looking for some shady scalper. ERIK HENRIKSEN
8 pm, Roseland, $49.50-69.50
A John Waters Christmas
Naughty-listers rejoiceâitâs the filthiest time of the year! Christmas isnât for a few more weeks, but John Waters is roasting the chestnuts a little bit early with his hysterical one-man show. Heâs the pencil-mustachioed director behind trailblazing cult films like Pink Flamingos and the more commercially successful Hairspray, and has also authored books like Role Models and Carsick. In 2015 Waters shared his corrupted wisdom with the Rhode Island School of Designâs graduating class in a commencement address that serves as the basis for his newest book, Make Trouble. Now heâs touching down in Portland to present A John Waters Christmas, which celebrates the seasonâs most intriguing delights: gay reindeer, satanic nativity scenes, unsafe childrenâs toys, and much more. Nervous your parents wonât get you those goddamn cha-cha heels? Dreading familial fisticuffs over the honey-glazed ham? The Pope of Trash is coming to salve those yuletide woes. CIARA DOLAN
8 pm, Aladdin Theater, $39.50
Orquestra Pacifico Tropical, Tribe Mars, Blossom
Portlandâs premier cumbia band will make you shake body parts you didnât even know you had.
9 pm, Doug Fir, $7-10
Naomi Punk
If James Hurley from Twin Peaks unspiked his dumb hair and suddenly wasnât such a shitty musician, heâd probably sound like Naomi Punk. The Olympia three-piece makes gritty guitar-punk that reflects the terrible beauty and unique claustrophobia of a Pacific Northwest winter, when the grey sky hangs dangerously low overhead and humanity is inescapably drenched in lâeau de mildew. CIARA DOLAN
9 pm, The Liquor Store, $8-10
Sean Tejaratchi
Los Angeles-based graphic designer, writer, and original Mercury art director Sean Tejaratchi returns to Portland to read from Liartown, a full-color trade paperback compiling four years worth of the best posts from his hilarious Liartown USA blog.
7:30 pm, Powell's City of Books, free
Clue
The phrase "ahead of its time" is frequently misused, but in the case of the 1985 board game adaptation (!) Clue, it fits like a butler's white leather glove. The combination of source material and its gimmicky "come back each week and get a different ending!" theatrical hook turned audiences off, but as kids (primarily theater kids) rediscovered it on home video, its whip-smart-and-lightning-fast dialog delivered by a troupe of amazing comic actors (Madeleine Kahn! Michael McKean! Tim fucking Curry!) providing quality characterization in service of a legitimately good mystery finally earned Clue the due it deserved in the first place. BOBBY ROBERTS
9:45 pm, Academy Theater, $3-4
Wait... What?
A special edition of the live game show modeled after Never Mind the Buzzcocks, starring some of Portland's funniest stand-ups, including Curtis Cook, Alex Falcone, Katie Nguyen, Amanda Arnold, Brandon Lyons, Jake Silberman, Whitney Streed, and Anthony Lopez. Hosted by Martin Lendahls and Isaac Pendergrass.
8 pm, Helium Comedy Club, $12
Taylor Kingman, Mike Coykendall
The frontman of the Hill Dogs brings his finger-picked-yet-crispy folk-rock and narrative-drivin lyrics to Mississippi Studios to celebrate the release of his new Mama Bird Recordings-issued full-length.
8 pm, Mississippi Studios, $8-10
2017 Holiday Ale Festival
For the 22nd straight year, Pioneer Courthouse Square gets tented, heated, and filled with over 50 specialty winter ales from some of the best brewers in the country. Come down spread some holiday cheer while indulging in an array of delicious Belgians, barleywines, stouts, and sours you won't find at the supermarket.
11 am, Pioneer Courthouse Square, $35
Thursday, Nov 30
Joe Biden
Say what you will about Joe Biden (seriously, say it all. Memes are highly encouraged), but the former veep has lots of insight to offer as well after his 45 years in public service, and the choices and challenges heâs faced throughout his career. In support of his forthcoming memoir Promise Me, Dad: A Year of Hope, Hardship and Purpose, which sees him reflect on the loss of his son Beau, Uncle Joe is embarking on the âAmerican Promiseâ tour thatâll feature a series of conversations âthat connect friends and neighbors around the topics that matter.â JENNI MOORE
7:30 pm, Arlene Schnitzer Concert Hall, $35-325
Earthquake Hurricane: 3 Year Anniversary
Can you believe that Earthquake Hurricane, one of Portland's best regular comedy showcases, is three years old? Aw, it can drink out of a sippy cup now! To celebrate EQH's milestone, PowerPoint humorist Phil Schallberger will sub for beloved hosts Alex Falcone, Katie Nguyen, Anthony Lopez, and Mohanad Elshieky, so that we can enjoy sets from all of them. MEGAN BURBANK
8 pm, Ford Food & Drink, $5
Gift of Gab, Randal Wyatt
The aptly-named emcee best known for being one half of the legendary hip-hop duo Blackalicious and a founding member of the Bay Area-based collective Quannum Projects returns to the Star Theater stage.
9 pm, Star Theater, $15
Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri
Letâs talk about Sam Rockwell for a minute. Thereâs a lot of other talent in the awkwardly, memorably titled Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri. Frances McDormand is predictably, fiercely awesome; Woody Harrelson demonstrates unexpected nuance; and writer/director Martin McDonagh takes his patented mixture of profanity and profundity to new levels. But Iâd argue that Three Billboards is Rockwellâs movie. He takes a character who at first seems to be little more than a cartoon of a bumbling, racist cop, and transforms him into the moral center of a powerfully moral film.
Various Theaters, see Movie Times for showtimes and locations.
Tennis
Tennis crooner Alaina Moore sings with a pretty, detached purity that is fully explained by the fact that she honed her skills while singing in a church choir. Mooreâs voice is paired with the duoâs fondness for â70s imagery and lyrics that detail vague, despondent love affairs, creating eerie pop-rock that feels both quaint and melodramatic. Tennisâ songs could soundtrack a slow dance in a high school gym, or salacious suburban adultery. The bandâs gauze-draped yacht rock hasnât evolved much since its 2011 debut, Cape Dory, but they fill the niche well, fully committing to an aesthetic and sound that is edgeless but appealing. EMMA BURKE
8 pm, Wonder Ballroom, $15-18, all ages
The Fur Coats, Cat Hoch, Melt
Portland's Fur Coats float on today's wave of psychedelia from a soul-pop perspective. Their 2015 EP, Desperate, is a slow, backbeat-driven saunter through surf-lounge burners. JENI WREN STOTTRUP
8 pm, The Know
Chris Isaak
The world-renowned rocker, crooner and actor known for his hit song, "Wicked Game," as well as his role in Twin Peaks: Fire Walk with Me returns to Portland for a stop on his 2017 Holiday Tour.
8 pm, Revolution hall, $59.50-89.50
Pop + Puppetry 5
As the brilliant Jim Henson taught us time and time again, puppets and music go together like felt and googly eyes. The folks at puppet production company Beady Little Eyes and a fine cadre of local bandsâSynCity, Gold Casio, and Skull Diverâtake this lesson to the stage with the fifth annual Pop + Puppetry night of creatures and innovative pop music. COURTNEY FERGUSON
8 pm, Holocene, $8-10
Don't forget to check out our Things To Do calendar for even more things to do!
