DJs--Portland is home to so many DJs, that it's hard to know which ones to go hear. Know this: Izm, Wicked, Rising Sun, and Uni-T. All local DJs, all kick-ass. Combined, you will hear a good sample of hip hop and house, spun taut and loose, but held with a tight, rhythmic string. KD
Ohm, 31 NW 1st Ave, 223-9919, 9pm, $5
REKKIDS--(I am a hypnotist.) You love vinyl. You love the weight of it; its scratchy sound; the extra-large cover art. You love it when it comes in clear red, or marbled, or when it's a special edition picture disc. You want to bring your records to the Vinyl All-Night Listening Party. You will not bring Frampton Comes Alive. I will bring Ciccone Youth and the Fan Modine. Then we will dance. JS
Meow Meow, 527 SE Pine, 230-2111, 9 pm, $5
NEW YORKERS--With all the jazz improv going on here, you'd think Portland was NYC's Knitting Factory circa 1997. Tonight, check out some of the greats who were actually there--contrabassist Ruben Radding and saxophonist Wally Shoup--as they get their bleaty, free-form groove on. JS
Medicine Hat Gallery, 1834 NE Alberta, 282-4083, 9:30 pm, $6
IMPROV--Christmas plays are such fodder for parody: cheesy Santas, stuffy carols, stale chestnuts. Come and watch the Brody Theater chop it up at their improv Xmas fest, It's Your Wonderful Life. KD
Brody Theater, 1904 NW 27th Ave, 224-0588, Fri-Sat, 7 pm, $10
MUSIC--It is possible to go from a tiny little label to a giant evil one and still maintain your integrity. Don't believe me? Come see Modest Mouse, the world's only non-sell out band on a giant label--original music that drips of jaded, melodic guitars and bursts of sporadic, harmonious vocals. KD
Crystal Ballroom, 1332 W Burnside, 225-0047, 8:30 pm, $12
MY, WHAT A BUSY NEW YEAR'S!
Compiled by Katie Shimer and Brahmani Houston
1201--Private Party. Call club for details. Four DJs, Invite required. 10pm-10am
Ash St. Saloon--Lava de Mure, Multimedia extravaganza with a fashion show, dance tunes, and molten eruptions. $12, 9 pm.
Berbati's Pan--An evening of Greek entertainment
Beulahland--An Evening with DJ Two. Champagne. No Cover.
Biddy McGraw's--Live music with The Clumsy Lovers. Free appetizers and champagne toast. $10.
Billy Reed's--Special a la carte menu, Ben Fowler Band at 7:30. Champagne Toast.
Blue Note--Snuffleupagus, no cover. $2.50 well drinks and micros, $3 Happy hour appetizers and $1 champagne at midnight.
* Cobalt Lounge--Sinner's Ball II, featuring DJ P of Z Trip, Mestizo, DJ Wiggles and DJ Duckee. Prizes for lucky ones.
Conan's Pub--Bring in the New Year with Jesus Presley.
Crystal Ballroom--Party favors, noisemakers and champagne toast at midnight. The Retros provide the soundtrack.$30.
Dante's--Black Angel with DJ Peek-a-boo.
* Darcelle XV--Three hours of drag, from 9 to midnight. Dinner package is $60 per person, and includes show, toast, and breakfast. $35 sans dinner.
Egyptian Tomb Room--New Year's Bash, prizes, dancing with DJ Andy, buffet 11pm-4am.
Fernando's Hideaway--Full course meal, dancing, champagne, Spanish grape eating ritual where one must eat 12 grapes at midnight. $50 per person.
Henry Fords--Party with Lyle Chaffe starting at 7pm. Party favors, free cab service from midnight-3 am.
Jimmy Mak's--Tony Starlight at 10pm, dinner package $30 per person, $55 per couple. Entry/no dinner: $15 per person, $25 per couple.
Lotus--Two DJs, Z100 Broadcasting live in the Cardroom. Hits of the '70s, '80s, '90s. Starts at 10pm. $10 cover.
* Medicine Hat--The Incredible Kid and the House Party DJ Posse
* Mt. Hood Meadows--Dinner buffet, lift ticket and fireworks display. 10pm. $50 per person.
Ohm--New Year's Eve show w/ Dahlia, Odyssey, CNSE, Rico and Rock
* Roxy--Open all night, as usual.
* Satyricon--The Denim Demons, The Owners, F-Option
Saucebox--Dinner 5:30-10pm. DJ dance party 'til 3am.
* Spare Room--Prime Rib & sautéed shrimp dinner, party favors, glass of champagne, music by Larry & Teri at 9pm. $50 per couple.
Tiger Bar--My Regrets
Tonic--Pinehurst Kids, Camaro Hair
FILM--What better way to ebb away your throbbing headache than watch a bunch of self-satisfied Danes search for their "inner idiots." The second in Lars Von Trier's afflicted women series, The Idiots follows around a group of middle-class women who have chucked their jobs and pretend to be mentally retarded. Horrifying, incredibly sad, but somehow you can't help laughing. PB
Clinton Street, 2522 SE Clinton St, 233-1597, 7 and 9:30 pm, $7
ART--Okay, so the holidays are over, but let's not forget the homeless are still out there. Portland artist Debra Beers presents a gentle reminder with her popular on-going show, Bill, wherein she constructs portraits of the homeless using found objects. WSH Mark Woolley Gallery, 120 NW 9th Ave, #210, 224-5475, Through Jan 27, Free
MUSIC--If the band name "Death by Stereo" conjures images of over-dramatic preteens who listen to too much Marilyn Manson and write bad goth music after getting jacked on coffee and minithins, you are WRONG! They're actually gleeful punk rockers with just the right doses of metal and pop. Smash your head on the innocence! JS
Paris Theater, 6 SW Third, 224-8313, 9 pm, all ages