NUDE MEN--Worth censoring or just bad art? (see One Day, p 5). Make your own decision and as a side benefit, view photos of hard-bodied well-hung men. Charles Easterby and Howie Baggadonutz (its his art name, silly) present Gay Pried, a collection of photography. KD

Gay Pried at the Everett Station Galleries, 625 NW Everett, open 24 hours until July 5, Free.

FRIDAY, June 16

EAT YOUR MEAT--Hey Gays! Want some meat? Head on down to the Shanghai Steakery Restaurant where all Pride weekend long, they'll be featuring a rotating menu of steak and drink specials hourly! Tasty, firm tenderloin... mmm. WSH

Shanghai Steakery Restaurant and Lounge, 16 NW Broadway, 228-9325.

DANCIN'--A gala just wouldn't be the same without a little dancing. Kick off Pride Week (and your shoes) with DJs, the PDX Gay Men's Chorus, and glamour to the max. JS

Rainbow Ball, Crystal Ballroom, 1332 W Burnside, 8 pm, $10.

BEER AND BROADS-- All hail Puddletown's own celeb drag queen, Poison Waters! Talented and sex-see, our local glam girl performs alongside Southern California diva Irene Sauterberg in a mouth-watering, beer-battered cabaret. Viva Las Vegas! BG

Boxxes' Beergarden at Waterfront Park (near Burnside Bridge), 6:30 pm, 21& over, Free.


PERFORMANCE-- The legendary Lesbian poetry of Sappho comes to life in Christine Calfas' one-woman production, Sappho's Arrow. Calfas conjoins her reflections on her early family life with Greek erotic poetry, alongside live percussion and an original score by John Vergin. BG

Dreams Well Studio, 2857 SE Stark, 231-1108, 8 pm, $12.

SPANKINGS-- Admit it: You've been bad. That's why you need a nice, hard spanking delivered by the employees of Portland's newest disciplinarians, the Portland Mercury. Visit our booth at Waterfront Park (follow the screams of agony and ecstasy) and get the ass-slapping you deserve! WSH

Portland Mercury Spanking Booth, Waterfront Park, noon-5 pm, $1, all proceeds go to the Sexual Minority Youth Recreation Center (SMYRC).

DYKE MARCH haiku: Sweaty smelly dykes, Together marching naked, Tits out rainbows on. KD

Starts at NW Davis and NW Park, 6:30; marches through Waterfront Park, for information, 452-5408.

SUNDAY, June 18

DRINKING--Make it extra spicy and give it a good shake. Vodka, Tomato Juice, a dash of tabasco, a dash Worcestershire sauce and street-side seating for the parade. Red Cap Garage serves Bloody Mary's all morning long, with patio seating along the parade course. PB

Red Cap Garage, 1035 SW Stark, opens at 9 am, drinks $4.

-- For gawd sake. We've all seen drag queens and naked lesbians before. Must annual parades mean the same played-out floats and chants of "we're here, we're queer, get used to it"? Please, please shock me this year. JS

Starts at North Park Blocks on NW Davis and Park, 10 am, for registration call 295-9788.

HAUTE CARL--Is your sequined dildo getting enough playtime? Are you performing the Hot Carl as frequently as you'd like? If you answered no to either of these questions, it's time to strap on an adult diaper, nipple clamp yourself to your favorite play partner and head over to Berbati's. KS

Father's Day Fetish Night, Berbati's Pan, 10 SW Third, 248-4579, $5.

MONDAY, June 19

FILM--Have you seen Gladiator, yet? It is SO GAY! Hunky Russell Crowe runs around half-nekkid in his leather thong-tha-tha-tha-thong wrestling with sweaty, muscular MEN! The perfect antidote to heterosexuality. WSH

Gladiator, now playing at various theaters. See Movie Times (p 43).