DANCE--The lovely ladies of Dark Porch Productions stir up schmoozy First Thursday as they holler and sculpt their improv movement and stunning body shapery. JS
Pearl District, just stumble upon them, starts at 7 pm, free

FIRST THURSDAY--Photographer Cynthia Connolly displays Dip(trip)tych, full and half-framed photos showcasing a love of road trips and snippets of landscape, sky, and man made objects. KD Reading Frenzy, 921 SW Oak, 274-1449, 6 pm


SOAPBOX BENEFIT--Help support one of Portland's coolest events, the PDX Adult Soapbox Derby tonight at Beulahland. Get info on the Derby (coming August 19 & 20), bounce to some DJs, and check out some of the actual cars running in the race! WSH
PDX Adult Soapbox Derby Benefit, Beulahland, 118 NE 28th, 235-2794, $5

HOT & BOTHERED--Whoopee! It's Leather Pride Week! So drag out the chaps and start the week right at the Leather, Feathers, and Fur Fetish Ball, featuring music by DJ Lauren, a no-host bar, and no-host Italian buffet. (But don't bite into the wrong meatball!) WSH Leather, Feathers, and Fur Fetish Ball, Adrianna Hill Grand Ballroom, 918 SW Yamhill, 8-1 am, $10 door


--In this decent little production, Keith Cable is a nameless, lone cabby who is also father-confessor, friendly neighborhood bartender, and male stripper all rolled into one. The play follows his 14-hour-long Christmas Eve swing shift. KD
Theatre Vertigo at Russell Street Theater, 306-0870, 116 NE Russell, Fri-Sat at 10:30 pm

CULT FILM--Pink Floyd, smack, dumpster diving in drag: Welcome to the Warholian Lower East Side. Here's your chance to catch Paul Morrisey's covetedTrash, filmed in 1970 and starring sexy Joe Dallesandro and Holly Woodlawn. JS
Guild Theatre, SW 9th & Taylor, 221-1156, 7 & 9 pm, $6


STINKER--Interested in seeing Moby and the Dandy Warhols at the 94.7 KNRK Big Stink? Well, bring your heroin! The only way to stomach the other bands (The Deftones, Kottonmouth Kings, and Jimmie's Chicken Shack) will be to drift off to the land of nod courtesy of a syringe-full of smack. WSH
Big Stink, Portland Meadows, 1001 N Schmeer Rd, 2-10 pm, $24


MUSEUM--Spanning more than one century of models, technological advances, and shiny futurist shapes, Stark's Museum of Vacuum Cleaners provides arare insight into this much maligned and misunderstood appliance. Really, it doesn't suck. PB
Stark's Vacuum Cleaners, 107 NE Grant, 232-4186, Mon-Fri 8 am-7 pm, Sat 9-5, for tours ask for Steve, free


MUSIC--Resplendent with underrated virtuoso Petra Haden's enchanted violin, Bob Log III openers DWP are a one-stop transport to a sparkling forest of textures. JS
Cobalt Lounge, 32 NW 3rd, 225-1003, 9 pm, $5

READING--You think your brother is a lout and a drunk. Imagine sharing a liver with him, not to mention the entire 63 years of your life attached at the hip, literally. In his debut novel, Darin Strauss pieces together the historical testimony and an engaging narrative from the perspective of one half of the world's most famous Siamese twins, Chang and Eng. PB
Powell's Books on Hawthorne, 3723 SE Hawthorne, 238-1668, 7:30 pm, free


CHEAP BEER--Every Wednesday, the classiest bar in town (three words: red shag carpet) has a very special little event called LLLLLadies' Night. If you're of the female persuasion, a pint of microbrew is a mere $2, while a pint of anything else is only $1! KD
Yukon Tavern, 5819 SE Milwaukie, 235-6352