MUSIC--CMJ's annual music fest is approaching and our old pals 31 Knots, Wolf Colonel, and The Planet The, areon their way to NYC to represent our fair city. Let's give our ambassadors ofhipness a rousing send-off. KS
w/ Trumans Water, Medicine Hat, 1834 NE Alberta St, 9 pm, $6


FAG FEST--The 4th Annual Lesbian.Gay.Bi.Trans Film Festival kicks off tonight and is, like most film fests, sometimes brilliant, sometimes a yawn. But there are a few films not to miss. C'mon--even the bad ones are chock full of steamy homo sex scenes! See pg 33 for listings. KD
Cinema 21, 616 NW 21st Ave, 223-4515, 19 programs for $7 each

HOCKEY--The best idea for entertainment since the Romans threw Christians to the lions: Give twelve angry men sticks, pads, a reason to hit each other and throw them onto a slippery surface. Jump-start the Winter Hawks season. PB
Memorial Coliseum, 300 Winning Way,238-6368, 7 pm, $12-16


BOOGIE--OK, we all know how you feel about irony. You hate it. But there is a time when irony can turn into actual fun. Case in point: BarFly is sponsoring Disco Fever!, an evening of dancin' and romancin', with disco tunes by DJ Drue. Plus there will be hustle lessons, a "Jive Talking" competition(!?) and prizes galore. So, c'mon... lose the sneers and shake those rears! WSH
Disco Fever!, Cobalt Lounge, 32 NW 3rd, 225-1003, 10 pm, $5

MUSIC--Standing at the crossroads between Piccadilly Circus and Hawthorne, the Minders have put together high-minded and well-studied conservatory music with rollicking good times. On the cusp of big-time fame, catch the trio before they blast off. PB
Medicine Hat, 1834 NE Alberta St, $6, 9pm


FILM--Elvis challenged his critics to walk a mile in his shoes, and since then, a million imposters have swiveled in his hips. As part of another one of Peripheral Produce's odd but grabbing film festivals, Russ Forster captures on film the odd phenomena of tribute bands, from the homegrown Brothers E (as in Elvis) to Kiss and Judas Priest worshippers. Also showing, Portland filmmaker Ted Jackson's The Manchild Project. PB
Guild Theatre, 829 SW 9th, 7 pm, $6

THEATER--Fed up with the same old boring Shakespeare? Then check out Variations on Measure by Measure by Charles Marowitz. Chuck has made a career out of turning the Bard's plays upside down and coming up with fresh, interesting takes on very old ideas. Experimental theater fans will cream their pants! WSH
Tygres Heart Shakespeare Co., Portland Center for Performing Arts, 1111 SW Broadway,

288-8400, call for prices


MEMORIES--Did you graduate from high school in '42? Maybe Christine Shields painted and immortalized your yearbook photo in her art show, Mission High Yearbook 1942. Ohmigod, what was up with that hairdo? JS Reading Frenzy, 921 SW Oak, 274-1449, Through Nov 1


MUSIC--I'll make this quick and painless. Last year, Joan of Arc's gig at 17 Nautical Miles was one of the top five shows of 1999. Passionate and powerful. What makes you think this one will be any different? JS Joan of Arc, Pine Street Theater, 215 SE 9th, 9:30 pm, all ages, $9.25


AMAZEMENT--I know I talk in superlatives, but Dancer in the Dark is the best fucking movie I've ever seen. Seriously! It's surreal, tragic, gorgeous, horrific, devastating, and...and... and (take a breath)'s a musical starring Björk directed by Lars "makes me bawl" von Trier! See it now! JS
Opens Fri Oct 13 at Fox Tower 10, 735 SW Taylor. See pg 33 for times.