READING--Whoopee-dee-doo! Our fave b-movie actor Bruce Campbell hits P-town today to read to us from his boffo new book, If Chins Could Kill: Confessions of a B Movie Actor. Naturally, you remember Brucie from the Evil Dead movies, but he's also been in such glorious TV trash as the WB's Jack of All Trades, and the largely underrrated The Adventures of Brisco County, Jr. Don't forget your autograph book! WSH

Powell's City of Books, 1005 W Burnside, 228-4651, 7:30 pm, free

ART BUBBLE--On Alberta, next to the garden of wisdom where the hippies always steal the gingko, Portland artist Brian Borrello has built a very large art bubble. Inside, there'll be an evolving adhoc of Free music, and places to sit on your ass and space out. It's no Renn Fayre, but it could be a statement about the insular nature of the art world--or it could just be a situationist "screw you." Who cares? It's a big bubble, and you can go inside! JS

NE 24th and Alberta, 7 pm, free


DJs--Here we have some DJing that is so good, you don't even have to like music to enjoy it. Shortkut, the biggest name on the bill, is a member of both the Invisible Scratch Piklz and the Beat Junkies, two groups which are leading the way in the DJ revolution. KD

W/DJs Apollo and Vinroc, Seges Art Bar, 818 SW First Ave, 279-0250, 9 pm, $6

ACTIVISM--If you're down with the Earth Liberation Front, or even if you're not, find out for real what they're all about at this renegade video screening and public talk. KS

In front of PCC Cascade, 705 N Killingsworth, 7:30 pm, free

DANCE--Our ballet can kick your ballet's ass! Sic et Non is hometown dancer Laura Kleeman's latest: a muscular and kinetically smooth, sexy dance performance that hops around the spectrum from graceful ballet to a leather-clad slamdance. PB

Conduit Studio, 918 SW Yamhill, 4th Floor, 221-5857, Fri-Sat, 8:30 pm, $13


FILM--Two years ago, a small film festival, LapDance, was so irreverent that the shorts they showed sent the stiff upper lip of Robert Redford quivering. "This is the lowest of the low," he reportedly commented. Fringe Fest is the Clinton Street's mini film festival, with winners from LapDance 2001 and a ha-ha hilarious "Attack of the Killer Monkey Brain" from comedian Johnny Seattle. PB

Clinton Street Theater, 2522 SE Clinton St, 238-8899, 6, 8:30, $6

TRIPLE CD RELEASE--Need a tour guide to navigate the imperative sea between electronic and experiment? Look no further than three of Portland's smartest and most organic players: Fontanelle, Mome Raths, and Nice Nice. If you need further assistance, they have new CDs to help illuminate your path. JS

Blackbird, 3724 NE Sandy, phone, 9 pm, $5


PIG RACES--Time to pull out those muscle tee's and hubcap-sized belt buckles for the Washington County Fair! And today's lineup is a goddam hum-dinger! Not only is there a demolition derby, but there's also the watermelon seed spittin' contest, an exhibition of "cowgirl tricks" (Rrrrowrrr!), and best of all, RACING PIGS! Yeee-haw! I ain't had so much fun since Granny kicked over her rocker! WSH

Washington County Fair, 873 NE 34th, Hillsboro, 10:30 am-9 pm, $7

ROCK--Ladies and Gentlemen: They're brainy, uninhibited, and they rock the rock. It's their last show on their US tour, so they're going to be tight and loaded with energy. Louder than trash lids, tougher than Vera, can I please get a round of applause for Last... of... the... Juanitas! JS

w/Tourettes Lautrec, Cobra High, Berbati's Pan, 231 SW Ankeny, 248-4579, 9 pm, $5


MUSIC--What do you imagine when you walk through dark alleys? If you're scrappy and brave, you imagine a bunch of cool rock chicks listening to Neu!... er, making trashy new wave! You imagine Los Angeles' Radio Vago, and a bunch of mist settling on their skinny ties and their screamy vocals. JS

w/Tracy & the motherloving Plastics, Meow Meow, 527 SE Pine, 9 pm


DISTURBING MOVIE--Ever seen that movie Kids? Remember how you felt when you finished watching it, kind of like crawling into a hole and slitting your wrists? Well, now you can feel even worse, as the director Larry Clark has made a conterpart movie, Bully, a narrative of some screwed up kids living in the suburbs of Florida. KD

Cinema 21, 616 NW 21st, 7:00, 9:15, $6


HIPHOP--Portland hiphop is about to blow (see Music pg 13) and when it does, you're gonna want to say you were there from the beginning. Earn your cred by checking out the Lifesavas: funky, fresh, and clean. Oh yeah, and the Roots are gonna be there too. KD

Roseland, 8 NW 6th Ave, 224-TIXX, 9pm, $18