HOT DOG!--Has genetic engineering gone too far? See for yourself at tonight's performance of Frank Furter and the Hot Dogs. Frank is a big 'ol walking hot dog that plays dag-nasty Delta jump blues on guitar, bass drum, high hat, and harmonica, and features songs like "Hot Dog Walkin' Like a Man," and "Baby, I've Got 12 Inches (I'm Your Foot-Long Dog)." This genetic anomaly brought down the roof at the last Alphabet Dress, and he did it--with RELISH! HAWWW! WSH

w/ The 9's and Then... Poland, Satyricon, 125 NW 6th, 243-2380, 9 pm, $6

SHOWCASE--Deftly eluding the sucking quagmire of boring-ass/overdone hell that is the current world of indie labels, Portland's Jealous Butcher Records releases a group of unpretentious yet brave rock bands. See a bunch of them at tonight's quintuple-decker show! JS

Heart Beats Red, Made for TV Movie, Captain Vs. Crew, Rally Boy, Urban Legends; Lola's Room, 1334 W Burnside, 225-0047, 8 pm, $5

VARIETY--Too many predictable parties in a row cause ailments, and the only antidote is a good old Medicine Show. Luckily, The Frances Farmer Gals, Rube Waddell, and The Dickel Brothers are scrubbed in to nurse us back to our vibrant, glittering selves. Besides, sexy, ho-downin', card trickin' brouhahas are my kind of alchemy. MS

Dante's, 1 SW 3rd Ave, 226-6630, 10 pm, $6

READING--The reason I hate readings, is that they're usually in a library or a university or some other stuffy place that drones the life out of art. Not this reading. Hosted in a really cool old church with music, food, and cowboy suits, a cast of Portland all-star writers will be reading their work, including Blake Nelson, Mark Jude Poirier, Ritah Parrish, Kevin Sampsell, and the Mercury's own Monica Drake. KD

Stories of the new wild west: an evening of fiction, music, and cowboy hats. Disjecta, 116 NE Russell, 493-7353, 8 pm, $3 w/cowboy attire, $5 otherwise

ELECTRONICA--It seems like every weekend now there's an awesome electronic show in Portland. Hark, is this variety I smell in our one-horse town? Check out the bleep bleep, bloop bloop of the Sensualists; it's blithe and unpredictible without turning you into a cartoon character with question marks over your eyes. KS

w/ CNSE, Papillion, Blackbird, 3728 NE Sandy, 282-9949, 9 pm, $6

COVER BANDS--So cover bands are way in fashion these days, which is awesome because you go to a show knowing what to expect, and knowing that you'll love it. Helles Belles (an all-girl AC/DC cover band) are of the highest cover acclaim, and their openers Mandonna (all boyz) should blur the memories of how horrible the real Madonna turned out. KS

w/ the Hitch, Cobalt Lounge, 32 NW 3rd Ave, 225-1003, 9 pm, $8

C&W MUSIC--Equally apt to offend as entertain, Robbie Fulks is the sassiest country-folk crooner either side of the Mississippi (which, for that matter, is the world). Hop, skip, and swoon to his mad-cap yelping and haunting serenades. PB

St. Johns Pub, 8203 N Ivanhoe, 224-4400, 8 pm, $15

EVIL CIRCUS--According to PETA, the Sterling & Reid Bros. 3-Ring Circus has been issued at least 13 animal abuse-related citations by the USDA, for things like forcing arthritic tigers to perform, beating them with broken hockey sticks, and feeding feces-infected water to their camels. But who cares about that, cause they have a laughing hyena! Your kids LOOOOVE hyenas! JS

Memorial Coliseum, One Center Ct, 797-9619, 2:30 & 7:30 pm, $6-17.50

THEATER--The fine folks over at Theater! Theatre! debut their newest offering this week called As Bees in Honey Drown, about a gay novelist who gets a boost from a wealthy socialite. But here's the thing! It stars Portland's favorite drive-time DJ hottie, Daria O'Neill, who is always a goddamn kick in the pants. Don't miss it! WSH

Theater! Theatre!, 3430 SE Belmont Ave, 239-5919, 5 pm, $15-19

PROTEST--Although the Starbucks-swilling, Dave Matthews-listening, Range Rover-driving realtors may not be able to correctly spell gentrification, that doesn't mean it ain't coming. A local group of citizens are helping educate residents about how to dig in their heels in and save their (your?) low-rent neighborhood from the yuppies. Rally and "Housing Resource Fair" today! PB

Reflections Coffee and Book Store, 446 NE Killingsworth, 4pm, 282-6774 for more information, free

COMIC ARTISTS--Do you yearn for comics like you yearn for sleep and shelter? Show your love for some fantastic local comic artists/cartoonists, like Steve Lieber, Max Estes, Aaron Renier, Shannon Wheeler, and the Mercury's own Kalah Allen. Where else will you find humorously-rendered robots and animals and blood in an art show? JS

Gallery Bink, 1416 E Burnside, 233-8866, noon-4 pm

SUPER 8--Who doesn't love a good fairy tale? Spectacular and high-action, they're a mental vacation from daily life. The Tiny Picture Club has filmed a collection of magical shorts in, get this, Portland--a surreal merging of your real life and fantasy. KS w/ scoring by super-heroes the Halide Audio Test

Mission Theater, 1624 NW Glisan, 8 pm, $5