Thursday 1/10

THEATER--Unwrap your kvetching little minds from schmaltzy musical stereotypes involving big talking animals! Fiddler On The Roof's score and dancing permanently adhere to your memory and sense of well-being, so don't miss it like a schmuck. MS

Lakewood Center for the Arts, 368 S State, Lake Oswego, 635-3901, Thurs-Sat 8pm, Sun 7pm, $20-22

Friday 1/11

MUSIC--Even though the Maroons' singer tries to sound depressed, you can tell he's really a happy guy. It seems like, at least in daily life, it's usually the other way around. Their peppy rock/pop will actually put you in a good mood, so much so that you might do something insane, like get up on Saturday morning and go for a jog. KS

Dante's, 1 SW 3rd Ave, 226-6630, 9 pm, $7

ELECTRONIC--While it may not be the most exciting thing in the world to watch someone geek out on their computer--or in Randy Jones' case, play some weird, pressure-sensitive, touch-pad MIDI controllers--as long as you're not expecting some insane live show, you'll be fine. Sit back and enjoy the funky skipping and tripping of Solenoid and Catch 22--and appreciate computer geekdom at its finest. KS

OMCO Showcase, Blackbird, 3728 NE Sandy, 282-9949, 9 pm

Saturday 1/12

OLD SCHOOL--Since it's no longer "in" to be fashionably ignorant about hiphop, it's high time you learned about it from the roots up! And to help you along in this noble calling is DJ Rev Shines from the Livesavas, who will be spinning tunes from the prehistoric age of rap. Ever wonder were those samples originally came from? Let Shines show you the way with old school soul and funk! WSH

Boiler Room, 228 NW Davis, 227-5441, 9 pm, $3

READING--Feeling brain-dead and uncultured from a couple weeks of drinking in your closet before another family dinner and six hours of late night television? Check out this funky, sexy, music and literary event, featuring such luminaries as Raki LaRock, Jennifer Robin, DJ theincrediblekid and Wm. Steven Humphrey. We promise, there'll be reading and music, but no performance art! MS

Disjecta, 116 NE Russell, 335-6979, 8 pm, $3-5, all ages

Sunday 1/13

MUSIC--In their own quiet and cautious ways, the four bands tonight rock! Fronted by a precious 17-year-old, Noise for Pretend sketches out haunting bossa nova ditties. Busting at the seams with talent and optimism, the quartet of Hush Records bands--the quiet pop of Blanket Music, Corinna Repp, and the enchanting Kaitlyn ni Donovan Band--dispel the tired notion that emotional music is only for the pity-me crowd. PB

Blackbird, 3728 NE Sandy, 282-9949

PERFORMANCE HIPHOP--"I'm a coloring contest champion man... crashed and burned in my Astrovan" aren't exactly bragging words ripe for battle; but Pittsburgh's Grand Buffet writes rhymes about candy bars and poop and how it sucks when... you're on fire and your flesh is burning. So. JS

w/ Wesley Willis
Meow Meow, 520 SE Pine, 230-2111, 9 pm, $8, all ages

Monday 1/14

CREEPY FILM--If there's anything creepier than a ghost story, it's a ghost story from Spain! During the Spanish Civil War, poor little Carlos is dropped off at a boy's orphanage. And to make matters worse? It's haunted! Not only by a dead resident, but by the memories of everyone who lives there. The Devil's Backbone is the winner of a crypt-full of awards, beautiful and brrrrrrrr! Creepy! WSH

Cinema 21, 616 NW 21st, 223-4515, 7 & 9:15 pm, $6

Tuesday 1/15

MUSIC--Normally I hate country, and anything to do with country, like cowboy boots or steer-roping or hay-chewing, but the Handsome Family has captured that certain something. They're mellow, as a matter of fact, and harmonize sweetly while singing charming, yet maniacal lyrics. Thank god, they skip that annoying country wholesomeness and any unnecessary twanging. KS
w/ Willard Grant Conspiracy, Pseudo Six
Blackbird, 3728 NE Sandy, 282-9949, 9 pm

READING--If he hadn't been launched into stardom as one of Johnny Carson's favorite stand-up comedians and Robin Williams' chosen sidekick (when Mork was still doing coke and actually funny!), Jonathan Winters would be wandering the streets muttering to himself. His off-kilter humor can ramble aimlessly before he smacks you across the forehead with the most lucid and funny satire you've ever heard. Reading from his new book, Winters' Tales. PB

Powell's, 1005 W Burnside, 228-4651, 7:30 pm, free

THE ROCK--Aside from having the second best band name in the world (Fuckgodintheface being the first best), Corpse Fucks Corpse plays really intense, spazzy hardcore that is not for the posture--only for the power. JS

w/ Ni-Fi Nife Fight
Rip City, 2702 SE Clinton, 232-6321, 8 pm, $1-2 donation (sliding scale)

Wednesday 1/16

THE QUEEN--Los Angeles underground hiphop duchess Medusa rhymes in a low, thick, buttery voice about being strong when the whole world's crazy around you. And she is badass. Also with Oldominion's Syndel who, in my opinion, spits the toughest shit in town. Do not stay at home for this one. JS See Music pg 13

w/ Abstract Rude, 2Mex, DJ Drez, Wicked
B Complex, 320 SE 2nd, 224-8499, 9 pm, $12.50, all ages