MUSIC--With beats cribbed from parallel worlds and more flow than the Concord, Antipop Consortium's arty-smarty hiphop will pop open your brain. This is some of the freshest stuff around--who else mixes ping-pong beats with storm trooper funk and genius opera divas? JS See Music section (pg 19).

Berbati's Pan, 231 SW Ankeny, 248-4579, 10 pm, $11-14

PROG--Since they so proudly wear their guitars "north of the equator" and can play better than you, I totally justify being envious of 31knots. If you're anything like me, you'll repress that jealously deep inside until it violently erupts later in life, and in the meantime, you'll go to the band's CD Release show. Shake your ass to their choppy, yet ever-so melodic rhythms, while you secretly plot your revenge. CM

w/ Nice Nice, Point Line Plane; Blackbird, 3728 NE Sandy, 282-9949, 9 pm, $5


THEATER--Are you one of those who waited too long to get tickets the last time David Schmader performed his sold-out one-man show, Straight? Well, now you have a second chance to catch this hee-larious story of one gay man's trip into the strange world of fundamentalist Christians attempting to convert fags into bible-thumpers. WSH

Stage Direct, Coho Theatre, 2257 NW Raleigh, 274-1373, 8 pm, Thu-Sat this week and next, $12

METAL--I know you've seen your favorite local metal bands, Lachrymator and Wadsworth, a million times, but have you seen them at Billy Ray's? Here are some good things about Billy Ray's: The show is free, they serve 22-oz. PBRs for $2, and it's in Northeast Portland--probably right next to your house. KD

w/ System of Edges
; Billy Ray's, 2216 NE MLK, 287-7254, 9 pm, free


GORE FILM FEST--In Last Girlfriend, Dylan is presented with the troubling question: Is it worse to battle an army of zombies, or be stuck in a cabin with your nagging ex-girlfriend? Produced by a local news photographer, the short film is one of the entries in Gore-A-Rama-a-Go-Go, a mini-film festival for the Northwest's goriest, bloodiest, and darkest funny flicks. PB

Dante's, 1 SW 3rd, 226-6630, 9 pm, $12

FISTICUFFS--Hometown hero Tony "El Alacaran" Martinez (11-1-2) takes on Mexico native Francisco Mendez in Ring Rage 9--a night of boxing at the Multnomah Greyhound Park. Mendez' spotty record (13-24-1) could be a deceiving factor in this bout, who's been known to pull a knock-out from nowhere. And while Martinez relies on bread and butter skills, his devastating body attacks will undoubtedly lead to an exciting matchup. WSH

Multnomah Greyhound Park, NE 223rd & Glisan, 667-7700, 7 pm, $10-50

MUSIC--The trio Ex-Girl takes an arty mix of the cutie high vocals and operatic singing, angry guitar riffs, and spacey samples, and merges them into something that could be called Japanese post-'80s rock, if you wanted to come up with a categorization that stupid. With so much going on in their music, you may not even have the inkling to head to the bar during their set. KS

w/ Stereo Crush, Pinq; Ash Street, 225 SW Ash, 226-0430, 9 pm, $10


FILM--Lalee's Kin follows a poverty-stricken family and school district in the Mississippi Delta. Sounds miserable, but the heart of this film will leave you exuding hopeful possibility in the face of this cold, rotten world. Promise. MS

Whitsell Auditorium of Portland Art Museum, 1219 SW Park, 221-1156, Sat 7pm, Sun 4:30 pm, $6.50

RUMMAGING--With work looming and wallets thin from a rowdy weekend, nothing gets the blood pumping like a good graze through a Giant Rummage Sale! The kicker is that it's orchestrated by the Interstate Firehouse Cultural Center, which ups the curiosity factor of the digging. MS

2635 NE Broadway, 823-4322, Sat-Sun, 10 am-4 pm, free


MUSIC--By jumping deep into a puddle of experimental jazz and avant-electronics, the expertly rhythm-based Chicago Underground Duo make the frenzy of cornet and twinkling of vibraphones sound like the cusp between daydreams and nightmares. Ooh... ephemeral! JS

Blackbird, 3728 NE Sandy, 282-9949, 9 pm, $9


THE MF-ING ARTIST--Do I need to tell you who PRINCE is? The Minneapolean funk visionary, hero to underground and mainstream alike, the man who spawns purple revolutions of love? The man who taught you the true meaning of "freak nasty"? I hope not, because if there is a human embodiment of God on earth, it is totally Prince. JS

w/ Maceo Parker; Schnitzer Hall, 1037 SW Broadway, 224-4400, 8 pm, $50-125


BOWLING--Always looking for new places to see and be seen? You might not have guessed it, but the Hollywood Bowl is one of them. Monday through Thursday after 9 pm, games are only a buck a piece per person, and the place is chock-full of scenesters, young and old. Plus, the pitchers of beer are cheap. How much more entertainment can you ask for?

Hollywood Bowl, 4030 NE Halsey, 288-9237, Mon-Thurs after 9 pm, $1