J-POP--So how often are you gonna pay 14 bucks to see a legitimate superstar? NEVER! That's why you should shell out 14 smackers to see Japanese superstars, PuffyAmiYumi. They've got their own TV show, line of products, and their J-pop stylings run the gamut from power pop to disco to spacey C&W. Oh! Did I mention they're ADORABLE? Now if that ain't worth 14 g-dubs I don't know what is! WSH
Aladdin Theater, 3017 SE Milwaukie, 233-1994, 9 pm, $14

MOVIE--DIY Or Die is a documentary for anyone enthused by artistic integrity, autonomy, and anti-The Man creative warfare. Nonconformist stalwarts like Lydia Lunch and Mike Watt contribute tips and tricks for independent artists and the people who love them. MS
Clinton Street Theater, 2522 SE Clinton, 238-8899, 7 & 9 pm, $6

FRIDAY, July 12

FILM--Third in the series of the Friday night Summer Movie Megathon, it's the greatest love story and most heart-thumping, treasure-hunting adventure of our generation: Goonies! The Oregon-filmed classic is back on the big screen. Rekindle the flame of teenage horniness, and bring a kleenex for that touching ending scene. KS
Guild Theater, 829 SW 9th, 221-1156, bars opens at 10:30, show at 11 pm, $5

ZINE SYMPOSIUM--A total buttload of FUN and (mostly) FREE, the zine symposium includes workshops that teach you how to do shit DIY-style, films by Beau Von Hinklywinkle, and tons more! Tonight is the (not free) kick-off show, starring performances by famous zinesters Al Burian, Rich Mackin, Sarah O, Maddeline, and Dave Roche, plus music by The Disappearer, The Haggard, and Calvin Johnson. JS (See pg 26)
PSU Smith Center Ballroom, 1825 SW Broadway, 6:30 pm, $5; see for more info


MUSIC--After us activist kids finally smash the stuffing out of the repressive state, there will undoubtly be some good after-parties. The best of which will feature the (somewhat) acoustic punk sounds of Against Me!. Sandpapered vocals that will scream and sing away the cold and dark memory of the evil capitalist regime we so happily destroyed. Just in case this violent fantasy doesn't play out the way I want it to, we should all ride over to see them rock the fuck out of the Meow Meow. CM
w/The Assistant, Funeral Diner, Arroyo Seco, Chased by Bees, 1905, Fiyah, Hiretsuken; Meow Meow, 527 SE Pine, 230-2111, 5 pm, $5

MUSIC--With a jitter of synths and guitars, The Suffocation Keep writes super, sort-of-spacey pop songs that float on the lilting voice of singer Brett Nelson and sweet, uncomplacent melodies that cover your radiation burns like white ointment. How dreamy. JS
w/The Prids, Crack City Rockers; Blackbird, 3728 NE Sandy, 282-9949, 9 pm, $7

SUNDAY, July 14

TRIVIA--What is Barbie's sister's name? Which basketball team has never lost a game? What was Harrison Ford's first film? What convenience store item comes in brands like Kimono, Beyond-7, Sagami? Find out how trivial you are at the weekly trivia challenge. PB
Basement Pub, 1028 SE 12th, 231-6068, 9:30 pm, free

MONDAY, July 15

COCK ROCK--Who doesn't like butt rock? Well fine, you naysayers don't come along. But who doesn't like awesome specials and adorable men? Well, you don't have to come either. DJ Gregarious spins the "Cherry Pie" and "Pour Some Sugar on Me," while you do the loving of the life. KS
Red Cap Garage, 1025 SW Stark, 226-4171, 9:30, free

FUNNY--A nun, a cowboy, and an indie rocker walk into a bar... That's right, stand-up comedy is making a comeback. After Jerry Seinfeld and his minions of copycats saturated the market, the art of stand-up comedy has finally regained some dignity and originality. (see Feature, Page 9). PB
Boiler Room, 228 NW Davis, 227-5441, 9 pm, free

TUESDAY, July 16

MUSIC--Windsor For The Derby's songs evoke the gothic ease of American folk, but performed by a band of sci-fi robots. Sincere guitars and hot circuits are like hands in your hair after a really devastating e-mail. MS
w/Swords Project, Avenue of the Strongest, Rock Four; Berbati's Pan, 231 SW Ankeny, 224-TIXX, 9 pm, $6


NAKED WINE--While most wine tastings are snooty affairs that make you want to puke, Crush is spicing up the proceedings with Naked Wine. Educate your palate via blind taste tests (tonight's genre: California Merlot), and leer with delight at the scantily clad and extremely hot servers (tonight's genre: mostly nude surfer dude). All guaranteed to pop your cork. WSH
Crush, 1412 SE Morrison, 235-8150, 6 pm, prices vary

MUSIC--No matter how famous they get, Sleater-Kinney is still really fucking good. Good at making music, good at performing, and good at being the sexiest girls I've ever seen. See them again for the first time. KD
Aladdin, 3017 SE Milwaukie, 233-1994, 8 pm, $12