THURSDAY, september 19 READING--Your boyfriend wearing ladies' underwear has got nothing on the oh-so- kinky marine iguana! Fielding questions from all over the animal kingdom--from how to deal with detachable penises to finding a comfort level with sexual cannibalism--Olivia Judson presents Dr. Tatiana's Sex Advice To All Creation. So fascinating! So reassuring! PB

Powell's, 1005 W Burnside, 228-4651, 7:30 pm, free

CIVIL LIBERTIES--Our government really wants to know what you're doing. Tapping phones, spying, eavesdropping on political meetings. Today, City Council hosts its annual vote whether to validate the Joint Terrorism Task Force--a freewheeling collaboration between the FBI and local cops. Voice your opinion for civil liberties; tell City Council to abolish the Task Force. PB

City Council Chambers, 1221 SW 4th, 2nd Floor, 2 pm

FRIDAY, september 20

DIRTY AUTHORS--If you attended last year's Booty Call, wherein local authors read filthy erotica, you know it was a horny, hilarious blast. Tonight at Booty Call II, the fun continues with disgustingly perverted readings from Kevin Sampsell, Temple Lentz, Zoe Trope, and others. Oh, and DJ The Incredible Kid will insure the dancefloor gets freak nasty. WSH

Disjecta, 116 NE Russell, 335-6979, 9 pm, $5

HIPHOP--Hiphop collective Anticon consistently puts out dope underground music. One of their latest configurations, Themselves, features MC Doseone of cLOUDDEAD, and producer Jel (plus three more performers for the tour) creating dark, layered, street-level hiphop. KS

Meow Meow, 527 SE Pine, 230-2111, 9 pm

SATURDAY, september 21

MUSIC--Dig out your balled-up Embrace T-Shirt from the bottom of your hamper; it's time to welcome the new batch of DC indie heroes. The fashion-friendly lads of Q And Not U take the heart of Fugazi, the guitarmanship of Jawbox, and the sass of The Make-Up to make up some sort of über-prodigy band. Throw in the scary facial hair of Lungfish and they would be the greatest band ever. CM

w/Dame Fate, Science of Yabra; Meow Meow, 527 SE Pine, 230-2111, 9 pm, $6

KICK-OFF PARTY--It's not everyday in this town that a new record label is born, or that it's run by a lady named Bob. Therefore, you should go to the debut of this new label, called 16records. To celebrate, The Haggard, Shemo, and Holly is my Hobby will perform, buffered by some rippin' DJ music.

Liberty Hall, 311 N Ivy, 8 pm, $3-5 SUNDAY, september 22

MUSIC--Savvy collectors like myself will take the opportunity tonight to make a buck off of The Thermals. Since the band is on the verge of signing to Sub Pop and dominating the world one youthful power-pop song at a time, you might want to get in on the bottom floor. I mean, how hard is it to get hold of a lock of Hutch Harris' hair? Ben Barnett's gold caps? Kathy Foster's DIY T-shirts? Easy, with a little friend named chloroform. CM w/The Divorce; Berbati's, 231 SW Ankeny, 248-4579, 9 pm, $1

MONDAY, september 23

MOVIE--Notice how everyone's been going a little squiffy? Well, that's because OTHERS are trying to communicate with us via the universal language (math) in the manifestation of Crop Circles: Quest for Truth! I'm not kidding or even being ironic! Watch the flipping movie! It's really important! MS

Clinton St. Theater, 2522 SE Clinton, 238-8899, 7 & 9:30, $6

PASSION--Not only are Liars' Angus Andrew and Yeah Yeah Yeahs' Karen O art-punk's most intense power couple since Donnie and Marky Wahlberg, but they both head up two of the best bands in the nation--and their raw, hot live shows will turn your brainpan into a breakfast skillet! JS

w/Jon Spencer Blues Explosion; Crystal Ballroom, 1332 W Burnside, 224-4400, 8

pm, $13-15

TUESDAY, september 24

MUSIC--Open up with a sentence comparing Frank Sinatra ("Old Blue Eyes") to "Old Four Eyes," Elvis Costello. Blah, blah, blah, insert endless references to his brilliant discography here. Then make a joke about the hordes of thirty-somethings who will be in attendance. Finish up with a conflicted sentence about how a dusty Costello will fit perfectly in the dusty Schnitzer, but is worth the price of admission no matter what the cost. Oh, CRAP! I'm thinking out loud again! WSH

Elvis Costello & the Imposters, Schnitzer Hall, SW Broadway and Main, 224-4400, 8 pm, $35-$45

WEDNESDAY, september 25

READINGS--Coincidentally, two of the best writers in the world are both reading in Portland tonight! What will the nerdy bookworms do? Salman Rushdie, one of the all time great fiction writers, who has a fatwa on his head, is reading for FREE! Ira Glass, that witty and famous host of "This American Life," doesn't have a fatwa on his head and costs $60. What a schmuck! KD

Salman at First Congregational Church, 1126 SW Park Ave, 7:30 pm, first come first serve, free;

Ira at Arlene Schnitzer Concert Hall/Literary Arts, SW Broadway & Main, 224-4400, 7:30 pm, $28.50-60