THURSDAY, september 26

High Times Tour--Go ahead. Make a stoner joke right now about reading High Times. Made it? Good, now make plans to buy your tickets to the Pharcyde, one of your all time favorite, freshest, hiphop groups. KD

w/High and Mighty, Afu-Raj; Roseland, 8 NW 6th, 224-TIXX, 9 pm, $14 High Times Tour--Go ahead. Make a stoner joke right now about reading High Times. Made it? Good, now make plans to buy your tickets to the Pharcyde, one of your all time favorite, freshest, hiphop groups. KD

w/High and Mighty, Afu-Raj; Roseland, 8 NW 6th, 224-TIXX, 9 pm, $14

FRIDAY, september 27

DRAG KINGS--If you prefer your genders to be of a bendable nature, please do not miss the Club Casanova Drag King Tour! Macho lesbos stick on sideburns, mustaches, and shove rolls of socks down their trousers. Then they hop on stage for the most entertaining fashion and lip-synch show you're likely to see all year. Whether straight, gay, or bi, these package grabbin' he-gals will turn your head! WSH

Meow Meow, 527 SE Pine, 230-2111, 9 pm, all ages

HOMETOWN HOTTIES--Sleater-Kinney's new record, which they're celebrating tonight, is their best since Dig Me Out. YAY! Plus, they're proving they have amazing taste by playing with the completely brilliant Shannon Wright and the super-fun, punky Quails. It's a good show all around, and go early cause Shannon will blow you out of the fucking water. JS

Crystal Ballroom, 1332 W Burnside, 8 pm, 224-4400, $10

SATURDAY, september 28

MUSIC/BENEFIT--Another questionable benefit in Portland. This time to raise money for a band hostel; yes, a utopia where bands can sleep, read zines, and screw in comfortable beds, all for one low price. I recommend not worrying about the integrity of the benefit cause, and enjoying the music. Performances will be given by one-man R&B performance artist, Panther (trust me, you'll like it), rockers The Owners, DJs Steve (heavy metal), Hamburguesa (electro/dance punk/new wave), and Kowalski (Brit-pop)... plus more. And likewise, all this for one low price. KS

Berbati's, 10 SW 3rd, 248-4579, 9 pm, $5

PORN--What's the best kind of porn? Gay porn. Why? Because it's all men, and unlike typical porn movies, the men are actually hot. And what's great about Beyond Vanilla? It's a voyeristic sex movie including how-tos on kinky sex practices (think fisting), and you don't have to cross the threshold of Fantasy Video in order to see it. KS

Cinema 21, 616 NW 21st, 223-4515, 11:15, $7

SUNDAY, september 29

TRIBE 8--After about nine million years, lesbo punk goddesses Tribe 8 are making the rounds in the Pacific Northwest ('cause of Homo A Gogo, in Olympia this weekend). If their very presence doesn't rouse you outta your seats, does the rumor that they requested two non-lubricated condoms on their rider pique your interest? JS

Blackbird, 3728 NE Sandy, 282-9449, 9 pm

WEDDING RECEPTION--Clueless as to who Sarah and Michael are? Didn't get an invite to their wedding? It doesn't matter! They're cool enough to invite the whole damn town to the epic reception, which is teeming with bands like Nice Nice, Project Perfect, Mome Raths, and then some! MS

Disjecta, 116 NE Russell, 335-6979, 3-11 pm, $3 suggested donation

MONDAY, september 30

TRIBE 8--After about nine million years, lesbo punk goddesses Tribe 8 are making the rounds in the Pacific Northwest ('cause of Homo A Gogo, in Olympia this weekend). If their very presence doesn't rouse you outta your seats, does the rumor that they requested two non-lubricated condoms on their rider pique your interest? JS

Blackbird, 3728 NE Sandy, 282-9449, 9 pm

WEDDING RECEPTION--Clueless as to who Sarah and Michael are? Didn't get an invite to their wedding? It doesn't matter! They're cool enough to invite the whole damn town to the epic reception, which is teeming with bands like Nice Nice, Project Perfect, Mome Raths, and then some! MS

Disjecta, 116 NE Russell, 335-6979, 3-11 pm, $3 suggested donation

MONDAY, september 30

MUSIC--I used to hate Britain, until I heard the heartwarming guitar pop of Cinerama. Featuring David Gedge of the Wedding Present, Cinerama drips with that melancholic, Anglophilic drama, but still pleases with hummable melodies and audio backrubs. JS w/Austin popsters VHS or Beta?, Scottish dreamsters Ballboy; Blackbird, 3728 NE Sandy, 282-9949, 9 pm, $10

TUESDAY, october 1

MOVIE--Set in the underground crime world of 1960s London, Gangster No. 1 is a psychological foray into brutality and ambition. And when I say psychological, I mean Malcolm McDowell (A Clockwork Orange) and Paul McGuigan (The Acid House). Sure, now you're paying attention. MS

Hollywood Theatre, 4122 NE Sandy, 281-4215, 7:20 & 9:30 pm, $5

DEF JUX--This is a line-up of underground hiphop from all over the nation, and it is going to be awesome. El-P, the brilliant Brooklyn dreamboat, joins Mr. Lif from Boston, to tear some shit up. KD

Crystal Ballroom, 1332 W Burnside, 8 pm, $13

WEDNESDAY, october 2

MUSIC--The last time Of Montreal played the Blackbird, a misdirected cop shut the show down because of a noise complaint. Turned out the actual complaint was leveled at a business way down the street. DOY! Those interested in a getting a second chance should not miss this visit, or the quirky pop stylings of this enchanting group. WSH

w/Marshmallow Coast and the Minders; Blackbird, 3728 NE Sandy, 282-9949, 9 pm