THURSDAY, November 28

GO-GO--The real black sheep spend familial holidays like Thanksgiving imbibing and watching dancers in a bar. In keeping with the celebration of poor taste born of alienation, Lucy's Fur's Exotica Go-Go features "Go-Go Indians" dressed in beaded tassels and headdresses, as well as DJ Gregarious' mix of appropriately American cuts. Like Springsteen! MS

Dante's, 1 SW 3rd Ave, 226-6630, 10 pm, $5

FOOTBALL--How am I supposed to give thanks on Thanksgiving when every bar in town is closed!? It's the best regular season football day of the year, and I want bar stools, peanuts, and a variety of microbrews on tap, goddamn it! I want it! Wait, what? What's that you say? The Nob Hill Bar & Grill is open? With microbrews, bar stools, peanuts, AND an assortment of televisions all showing studly Joey Harrington as he guides the Detroit Lions to victory over the lowly New England Patriots? JWS

Nob Hill Bar and Grill, 937 NW 23rd, open at 11 am

FRIDAY, November 29

FIGHT THE MAN--The corporate man, that is. Mega-businesses manipulate the American mind, make us buy and buy so we won't be too fat, too ugly, too deprived of delicious taste, or too slow on the roads without that hot car. Come to Language of Consumerism--the final event in the 2Gyrlz Enteractive Language Fest--for some old fashioned anti-consumer propaganda. There will be "noncommercials" from Adbusters magazine, soundtracks from the Consumption Junction, and art from Dina Noto. JWS

Disjecta, 116 NE Russell, 335-6979, 8:30 pm, free

MUSIC--Contrary to popular belief, the band Pedro the Lion does not feature a guy named Pedro, nor does it have a lion in it--unlike like the new Siegfried and Roy show Masters of the Impossible, which has many lions, tigers too. If all this wasn't confusing enough as it is, the band Owen is not really a band, it's just one guy who is not named Owen. His name is Mike Kinsella and his brother is Tim Kinsella, who is this famous indie rocker with a bit of a Jesus complex. Speaking of the son of God, Pedro the Lion likes Jesus a whole bunch and writes some songs about him and all his endless glory. Despite the misleading band names, Jesus stuff and utter lack of lions, this is still a pretty great show. CM

w/Scientific, Seldom, Owen: Berbati's, 231 SW Ankeny, 224-TIXX, 9 pm, $8

SATURDAY, November 30

BREAKIN'--Can you really think of anything more fun to do than go to a friggin' breakdancing competition? At a sports bar? In Vancouver? I love it. Put the bong down, get your friends off the couch, and enjoy a little adventure... plus the spinning skilz of DJ Phreak. KS

Hot Shots Sports Bar, 11808 NE 4th Plain Blvd, Vancouver, (360) 514-8209, 9 pm, $3-5

LATE-NIGHT RUMMAGE SALE--The early bird gets the worm, as they say, but what about people who get up late? They don't get shit. This week, however, the nighthawks are vindicated with a sea of bargians at Mistress Dawn's Twilight Rummage Sale. Mosey over to the Eagle's Lodge at five, have a drink, enjoy the DJ selections of The Glorious Moodman (spinning his faves and then selling them for a quarter), revamp your wardrobe, and if you dare, stick around for the Trailer Trash Bash Dance afterwards. KS

Eagle's Lodge, 4904 SE Hawthorne, Sale 5-9 pm, free; Dance Bash, 10 pm, $5

SUNDAY, December 1

NELLY--When was the first time you heard "Hot in Herre," aka "the shot heard 'round the world"? I was at my gym, and I thought it was a joke: "I am getting so hot, I'm gonna take my clothes off?" I thought. That's absurd. No one in their right mind would write that line un-ironically. Nelly is as ballsy as he is ridiculous, and deserves every drop of notoriety he can squeeze from the American public. JS Rose Garden, 1 Center Court, 224-4400, 6 pm, $39-47

ARTS & CRAFTS--Has the DIY movement gone too far? In an effort to thwart the billion-dollar tampon industry, the Women's Health Collective is hosting a make your own reusable pads seminar! They urge you to bring extra thread, needles, and scraps of flannel. Interestingly, they also point out that their meeting is "open to the transgender community." Be you woman or pseudo-woman, this event is for you! PB

Back to Back Café, 616 E Burnside, 10 am, free

MONDAY, December 2

MUSIC--So much pretty drumming, languid vocals, and twinkly piano/electronic instrumentation oozes from ILYA's dreamy, magical torch songs that will soothe, yet not bore. Plus, a bunch of Tijuana/San Diego people will be bringing illustrations, jewelry, and films for a multimedia Holiday Matinee Winter Tour extravaganza! Something for everybody, yo. JS

w/Loopdrop; Blackbird, 3728 NE Sandy, 282-9949, 9 pm, $6

MUSIC--Don't miss this once-in-a-lifetime occasion where the fancy-ass Schnitzer gets soiled by The Flaming Lips' Bunny Suit dancers, tons of fake blood and the slight possibility of the return of that one breakdancing robot that was on Beck's Odelay tour. CM

Schnitzer, 1037 SW Broadway, 8 pm, 224-4400, $40.25

TUESDAY, December 3

ELVIS, SCHMELVIS--The King just won't stay dead. In Schmelvis: Searching for the King's Jewish Roots, an "eccentric" rabbi and Orthodox Jewish Elvis impersonator travel to the Holy Land in a hilarious documentary investigation of gentile-adored Presley's actual Jewish ancestry, thereby nullifying separatist conceptions of Judaism, Christianity, and performative pelvic thrusts. Mazel tov! MS

Hollywood Theatre, 4122 NE Sandy, 281-4215 for showtimes, $5

WEDNESDAY, December 4

BEATS--Trot on over to the Fez tonight for some butt-wagglin' African dance beats. Resident DJs E-3 and S-Dub embrace the polyrhythmic of the world's oldest continent, throwing down phat Afro and Fela-influenced jams all night long. Indigenous grooves, jeep beat permutations, Casio-esque stiff electronica... it's all there and it's all dance-a-licious! JWS Fez, 316 SW 11th, 221-7262, 9 pm, $3