THURSDAY, January 16

MUSIC--After weeks of smoking bongs and watching reality shows, it's finally time for some excitement again. With a line-up of screeching bands, from the violent drones of Growing, to the insanity of the Reeks and the Wrecks and Johnny X and the Groadies, to the lonely effects of Ghost of Falco, Nocturnal is hosting every band you want to see. And that's just in the all-ages section. In the bar, DJ Maxamillion spins along with IDM wiz, Glomm. Holy shit. KS
Nocturnal, 1800 E Burnside, 239-5900, 9 pm, $5

PLAY--As is their custom, the folks at defunkt theatre (sic) are once again pushing the boundaries of local theater. Their newest, James Moore's Cart, was written in response to the 9/11 attacks and is loaded with fear and tension. The story of three squatters who commit violence in response to the arrival of a house-sitter is loaded with depravity, black humor, and best of all, those wonderful defunktian tension-filled pauses. JWS
defunkt at the Back Door Theatre, 4319 SE Hawthorne, 993-9062, 8 pm, FREE (tonight and Fri only)

FRIDAY, January 17

IMITATE A CAT PUKING--If one chose to miss the opportunity to see 1996's sleeper hit, Party Girl, on the big screen, one would indubitably be smoking crack cocaine. THE BEST SASSY-LADY TRANSFORMATION FILM EVER MADE, Party Girl depicts Parker Posey facing an important philosophical dilemma: street drugs and house music, or true love and libraries? Party Girl is brilliant. I base my life upon the film and--coincidentally--I shall also introduce it. JS
Mercury Prozac Film Series,
Clinton Street Theater,
2522 SE Clinton,
238-8899, 10 pm, $6

TURNTABLE GODDESS--She's known as the "first lady of jungle," which means the die-hard fans of hardcore drum 'n' bass will not want to miss this rare opportunity to see the pioneering DJ Rap work the turntables. Help her (and special guest, the junglicious DJ from Eugene, Jade Bassix) celebrate ten years of spinning it wild! Long live the Queen! WSH
W/Electrokid; Ohm, 31 NW 1st Ave, 223-9919, 9 pm

FETISH NIGHT--Despite the fact that vinyl pants are about as shocking as vanilla ice cream at this point, it's nice to be able to celebrate sadomasochism without being banned or executed. Find someone whose key fits your lock while hoisting cocktails to DJ Kenoy's mixes. MS
Madame Butterfly, 425 SW Stark, 525-0033, 10 pm, free

SATURDAY, January 18

MUSIC--If you don't go see The Gossip's sex-blues party of sweat, lead singer Beth Ditto will totally punch you out. Plus, they're playing with the even tuffer shizz of the guitar-slaughtering Sleetmute. We'll prepare ourselves for the one-two K.O., non? JS
w/Young People, King Cobra; Blackbird, 3728 NE Sandy, 282-9949, 9 pm, $7

LEFTY RHETORIC--Howard Zinn for president! No one articulates the plight of the disenfranchised like the King of Lefties. Tonight we'll see a video of him showing us why the Bush Administration's rationale for war is a big load of baloney. Video presentation followed by discussion. PB
Liberty Hall, 311 N Ivy, 7 pm, free-$5

SUNDAY, January 19

FREE SHOW--There are two types of people in this world: those who have seen Jonathan Richman 45 times, and those who have never seen Jonathan Richman. However, soon there will be a third type of person: those who have seen Jonathan Richman for FREE! That's right, the funniest, most charming performer in the world, for free, following a whole day filled with entertainment! Thanks a lot, Crystal Ballroom... and happy birthday. WSH
w/Pete Krebs, Helio Sequence, more...; Crystal Ballroom, 1332 W Burnside, 225-5555, ext. 8811, 1 pm--midnight, free

MONDAY, January 20

MUSIC--Buck 65 is not your average hiphop artist. His lyrics are all about sensitive, introspective stuff like truth, and instead of being all bling-blingy, he makes fun of himself for being broke. So drop him a dime, listen to the words, and snuggle up to the softer side of hiphop. MS
Berbati's Pan, 231 SW Ankeny, 248-4579, 9:30 pm, $8

TUESDAY, January 21

LEGAL CLINIC--In spite of packed auditorium shows, feature length movies, lunch boxes, and global fame, after five years in the biz, Kiss was left nearly broke. Why was that? They were screwed by their managers! At the Music Law for Musicians Workshop, learn the legal ins and outs for the rock 'n' roll business. Demystify copyrights, taxes, contracts, royalties. PB
Artichoke Music, 3130 SE Hawthrone, 319-7725, 2-4 pm, $20

WEDNESDAY, January 22

MUSIC--The low, alcoholic growl of Drunk Horse's lead singer plus the tight rock/metal guitar playing (not typical, actually quite ingenious) plus a rippin' stage show make this a band you don't want to miss. Kill Rock Stars instrumetal duo C Average plays, too. This shit is real. KS
w/Ociffer; Ash Street, 225 SW Ash, 226-0430, 9 pm, $5

RAD WRITER--Rarely has the reality of inner-city life been as eloquently captured as it is in the writings of Richard Price, author of several stellar novels, including The Wanderers and Clockers, His newest, Samaritan, has one of the cooler characters imaginable in the gritty, relentless, black lady detective, Nerese. If Price's razor-sharp dialogue and sly observational humor are in any way indicative of his real-life persona, then he's sure to be a real card in person. JWS
Powell's City of Books, 1005 W Burnside, 228-4651, 7:30 pm, free