THURSDAY, October 9

INSANELY AMAZING LOUD MUSIC--If you get struck by lightning, you develop telekinetic powers; if you miss tonight's Lightning Bolt show, you'll develop hairy palms, your brain will freeze, your face will get stuck that way, a kitten will be killed and an angel will lose its wings. You don't want the weight of a dead kitten on your shoulders, do you? JS
w/Get Hustle, Japanese Karaoke Afterlife Experiment, Lazy Magnet; Million, 120 NE Russell, 9 pm, $7

FRIDAY, October 10

NEW WAVE--After a whirlwind tour of the U.S. of A, The Epoxies have returned to Portland and are ready to rev it up for the hometown crowd. Busting out new wave groove for futuristic fans, The Epoxies are one of our most energetic local treasures. Get ready to sweat! WSH
w/Green Circles, The Little Killers, The Minds; Berbati's, 231 SW Ankeny, 248-4579, 9 pm, $7

IMPROV--Portland's premiere improvisational masters are back and ghouling it up for the Halloween season. The Brody Theater presents Scary Movie, a classic double-feature horror flick presented in hilarious improv style. Plus! Fans will love the accompanying vintage horror and sci-fi memorabilia on display! WSH
Brody Theater, 1904 NW 27th Ave, 224-0688, 8 pm, $12

HIPHOP--The first installment of Ghetto Blaster, the new hiphop night at Icon, promises no-mainstream policy, b-boys and b-girls get in free, two-for-one cover with student ID, resident DJ Juggernaut, and 2002 Regional DMC Champ DJ Scene from Boom Bap Project. PLUS super special unannounced guests--better jump on this train early! JS
Icon, 125 NW 6th, 10 pm, $5

SATURDAY, October 11

DISCO FOR CHOICE--If you've ever "walked in" to Planned Parenthood during their walk-in hours, you know what a necessary service they provide. With sliding scale fees, STD testing and treatment, counseling, and more, this is an organization you should support. Plus, supporting is easy when your dancing to DJ Gregarious while wearing your fave disco gear. KS
Melody Ballroom, 615 SE Alder, 775-4931 x 226, 8 pm, $12-15

DEATH METAL--Called the saviors of death metal, NILE bring symphonic constructions, speed, and Middle Eastern influence to their music. Their live show guarantees to be nothing short of a trip to the collective id. Plus, it's Saturday, and who doesn't feel like getting shitty. KS
Roseland, NW 6th & Burnside, 1-800-325-SEAT, 8 pm, $20

POLITICAL DISSENT--Sometimes the only way to get attention is to make a lot of noise. Today, along with branches in New York, San Francisco, London, Paris, the Portland faction of Bands Against Bush is making a ruckus with political forums and music from Desert Rat, Spider Moccasin, and EPD. PB
Liberty Hall, 311 N Ivy, 249-8888, 2 pm-midnight, free, all ages

SUNDAY, October 12

GAY FLICK--Portland's Seventh Annual Gay and Lesbian Film Fest rolls on with Gabriel Baur's Venus Boyz, a documentary about drag KINGS--yes, read it right: women posing as men and cruising big city strips. SEE these manly ladies delve into the sordid world of male eroticism, even taking hormones to appear more masculine! Woo! JWS
Cinema 21, 616 NW 21st, (866) 468-7623, 1:30 pm, $8

MONDAY, October 13

SPORTS N' BEER--Football is a lot like dating: It's a lot more fun when people are scoring! Tonight's match-up promises to be rambunctious. The St. Louis Rams have two top-notch quarterbacks (who are both whining like babies to play more). The Atlanta Falcons have really intimidating jerseys but absolutely sucky defense. The score could be in the hundreds! PB
Mission Theater, 1624 NW Glisan, 225-5555 x8832, 6 pm

TUESDAY, October 14

EVIL DEAD 2--Need you know more? Bruce Campbell's finest work was this frantic, hilarious Necronomical adventure. Jim Carrey can suck it, because B.C.'s contortions of the face are still a far greater joy to witness. Get beer & pizza, and you're set for the night. MS
Old Town Pizza, 226 NW Davis, 222-9999, 8 pm, free

LEGENDARY PINK DOT--Yo, gothic pot smokers! Your own personal spirit guide, Edward Ka-Spel, is here to lead you into the cellar of dark secrets, dusty gloom, etc. Wear a cape and gloves, shave your eyebrows, tattoo the udjat on your limbs--whatever it is you need to get in the mood. JS
w/Coven of One; Berbati's, 231 SW Ankeny, 248-4579, 8:30 pm, $12

WEDNESDAY, October 15

ISSUES--Drummer and hiphop activist David Parks presents a series of essays entitled "Why Portland Hates Young Black People," in which he argues that creating more and better hiphop shows and nightclubs in this city is a way to protect and nurture young black minds, and even cut down on crime in the black community. JWS
w/the Reparations Band; Ohm, 31 NW 1 st, 223-9919, 9 pm, $6