THURSDAY, MARCH 11

MOVIE GURU--Nobody endears himself to the low-budget filmmaker in all of us quite like Lloyd Kaufman, head honcho of the wonderfully crappy Troma Studios, your home for cinematic classics like The Toxic Avenger and Tales From the Crapper V. Tonight the wacky weirdo shares and signs his hilarious and irreverent guide to guerrilla filmmaking, Make Your Own Damn Movie. JWS
Powell's on Hawthorne, 3723 SE Hawthorne, 7:30 pm, free

BUTTS--It's the interminable quandaryÉ Which butt will you choose? The party rock of the Buttfrenchers, or the buttrock assault of DJ Davvi Dangler? Buttfrenchers take over I.C. Mummy, making you crazy for a measly $3. DJ Davvi Dangler costs nothing, but begs you to dress as your favorite buttrock icon (best costume wins $25)! KS
Buttfrenchers @ I.C. Mummy, 332 NE San Rafael, 9:30, $3; DJ Davvi Dangler @ Slabtown, 1033 NW 16th, 9 pm, free

FRIDAY, MARCH 12

PROZAC FINALE!--What better way to put an exclamation mark on the end of the Mercury/Clinton St. Winter Prozac Film Festival than with the hee-larious John Cusack classic, Better off Dead? Heckle, drink beer, roll in the unsticky Clinton Street aisles, and then join us at Genies for the Prozac Film Fest Afterparty! Funny fun fun! WSH
Clinton Street Theater, 2522 SE Clinton, 238-8899, 10 pm, $6 admission, $2 beer, $2 pizza; Prozac Afterparty, Genies, 1101 SE Division, after the movie, free with ticket stub

SHOW--Seen Portland faves The Thermals lately? Their ecstatic snap crackle pop keeps winding tighter and tighter. Taking bets now on whether singer/guitarist Hutch Harris will, indeed explode one day. Plus: show is cheeep! JS
Crystal, 1332 W Burnside, 225-5555, 8 pm, $6-8

SATURDAY, MARCH 13

MUSICAL ART--How does your rock band affect your visual art? Find out with Quasi's Sam Coomes, Hella's Zach Hill, and Up Records' Pete Ritchey, as they come clean in their gallery show, Under the Influence of Rock, with live music from Jealous Monks, Jupiter Under Ghost Fire, and DJ Sara Lund. Four words: Zach Hill, psychedelic paintings!!! JS
Pacific Switchboard, 4637 N Albina, 475-9256, 6 pm, free

COMEDY--Portland's longest-running sketch troupe returns with their newest laff fest, "The 3rd Floor's Dollar Days!" A veritable comedy blow-out, the troupers will be skewering numerous topics as well as introducing their newest cast member, radio lovely Daria O'Neill. Plus! They will reimburse $1 to each paying audience member! Comedy, $1, AND Daria O'Neill? Boy, what I could do with that combo! WSH
The Miracle Theater, 525 SE Stark, 258-1681, 8 pm, $11

SUNDAY, MARCH 14

HAIKU--Think this ancient poetic form is no longer relevant? Try this on for size: "That woman eating/The bacon cheeseburger, I/ Must impregnate her." Expect wacky haiku like that from the Haiku Inferno, a local performance troupe that blends it with tea parties, karate demonstrations, and audience participation. It's all part of Kevin Sampsell's Word Circus, which also features spoken word throwdowns from Lisa Radon, music from Eux Autres, and tons more. JWS
Liberty Hall, 311 N. Ivy, 8 pm, $5

MUSIC GEEK-OFF--What's better than being at a Led Zeppelin concert? Well, besides bedding down with Robert PlantÉ the souvenirs! The programs, the posters, the fanzines. Back for its bi-annual stop, the Music Expo Convention pulls into town with boxcar-loads of rare LPs and recordings from hiphop to classical, and, of course, concert paraphernalia galore. PB
Airport Holiday Inn, 8439 NE Columbia Blvd, 10 am-6 pm, $3

MONDAY, MARCH 15

LOUD--If you grew up with your mother shaking a finger at you, saying your music sounded like an amplified anal cat rape, you're down with this show. The hysterical Daughters will wipe the floor with their fast, banshee, hardcore rants about catching STDs and whatnot. MS
Meow Meow, 320 SE 2nd, 9 pm, $6, all ages

TUESDAY, MARCH 16

MOVIE--Imagine your father is a super-famous architect whom you hardly know at all. Then he turns up dead in a train station and you find out he's got two other families. Nathaniel Kahn explores his father Louis I. Kahn's life, and his own sense of loss from not knowing him, in the documentary My Architect. KS
Cinema 21, 616 NW 21st, 223-4515, 7 & 9:30 pm, $7

WEDNESDAY, MARCH 17

HELLA HIPHOP--KPSU has called up about a trillion hiphop artists from all over the country to come up today for a two-part showcase/benefit. Start it early at PSU, then move it on over to Berbati's for all the hiphop one could possibly handle. See the Outlaws, DJ Fresh, and so very many moreÉ MS
Smith Center Ballroom at PSU, 724 SW Harrison, 725-4522, 3-9pm, $8; Berbati's, 231 SW Ankeny, 248-4579, 10 pm, $10

CULT LEADER--Some people play video games when they're bored. British journalist Danny Wallace started a cult. He posted the words "join me" in a local newspaper, created a website (www.joinme.info), and within months had thousands of people "joining him." Now he's written a book about it. Don't worry, mass suicides are not involved. Instead, the hilarious Wallace encourages his followers to do nice things like buy strangers drinks. JWS
Barnes & Noble, 1720 N. Jantzen Beach, 7:30 pm, free