GODLIKE--Imagine, if you will, that god is neither a man nor a woman, but both. You'd like to see that, wouldn't you? Thought so. Undeniable proof of this theory can be observed as cultural cartooning juggernauts Matt Groening and Lynda Barry appear together at the Schnitzer. Come, bask in their benevolence. LC
Schnitzer Hall, 1037 SW Broadway, 227-2583, 7:30 pm, $24

MUSIC--Life at these Speeds belt out the emocore, building momentum with quick changes, tight instrumentals and of course, yelling. And tonight they're playing at the old La Luna/Pine Street Theater, now called Club Awesome. Radical. See one of Portland's most addictive bands, and enjoy the club, before it gets shut down again for some stupid reason. KS
Club Awesome, 215 SE 9th, 8 pm, $5


MUSIC--Two local bands prepare for some serious moving. Butt-kicking progsters Point Line Plane are moving up, having just signed with the gnarly Skin Graft Records label. Meanwhile, the spacey yet exhilarating The Planet The moves to the grooves of toe-tappin', vampin' frontman Charlie Salas-Humaras. JWS
Berbati's, 231 SW Ankeny, 9:30 pm, $5

HIPHOP--It's a big-ass night for underground local hiphop! Hear P-town people drop the beats in celebration of the newest CD from one of our best MCs, MYG (aka Sinista Pushaman). Adding flow will be Dee Arthur & the Fly Trapper, Trash Heap, as well as special guests Pep Love, Casual, Mac Dre, and Rocket One! And for emcees looking to make the grade, there's gonna be an open mic for those ready to spit. WSH
Ash Street, 225 SW Ash, 9 pm, $10


MOTORCYCLE GIVEAWAY--Here's how it will play out: While you party down with Manaconda, an all-star heavy metal band, TVs will live-video feed six mechanics banging and welding together a chopper motorcycle. At the end of the night, one ticket will be drawn--that person drives away with the custom-made bike! VA-VA-vroom. A benefit for the p:ear gallery. PB
The Egg, 411 SE 6th, call 224-8499 for limited tickets, 6 pm-3 am, $25 (includes raffle ticket)

PATRIOTIC DUTY--A year ago, 5 million people gathered from Paris to Portland for an epic anti-war demonstration. But President Bush shrugged them off and rolled out the U.S. military machine anyway. Reignite your disgust with the war and the current regime at today's worldwide rally. And, once you're done stomping your feet, come bang your head and register to vote to the tunes of the pithy, punky, appropriately named Presidents of the United States of America. PB
March starts at NW Park and Burnside, 12 pm; music at Crystal Ballroom, 1332 W Burnside, 9 pm, $15


UNDERGROUND--The somewhat curious idea of bringing rock shows to a bowling alley has mushroomed into a popular hang for all the cool kids. Take it way underground (literally, under the alleys) with a giant dance party of awesomely named bands! Then crawl up towards the light for a dance partay! MS
Grand Central Bowl, 808 SE Morrison, 9:30 pm, $5


MUSIC--Never mind that they're Glaswegian; Franz Ferdinand rips harmonies like Apple in mono--Liverpudlian-style, pre-disco dance numbers, written for the stated purpose of making girls go crazy on the dance floor. Hint: they are probably frugging. JS
w/Crosstide; Berbati's Pan, 231 SW Ankeny, 1-800-325-SEAT, 9:30 pm, $8


MOVIE--An East German mother slips off into a coma before the Berlin Wall comes down. When she finally awakes, her son chooses not to tell her the big news. Thus, the thrust of Goodbye, Lenin, in which the boy goes to great lengths to pretend that East Germany is still as it was, even filming phony newscasts. KS
Cinema 21, 616 NW 21st, 223-4515, See Film Times pg 41 for schedule

MUSIC--Maybe over the years you've noticed the Mercury's KINSELLA ALERTS! Well our alert mechanism is going off right now like a fuzz buster in a cop shop. Tim Kinsella, musical artiste extraordinaire, is coming to town to play with his frenetic, neurotic, arty band Make Believe, and his slightly more subdued band Joan of Arc. Nobody wails like Tim. KS
Berbati's, 231 SW Ankeny, 9:30 pm, $8


POKER--If you haven't already gone poker-crazy, then expect to go there soon. Games are sprouting up everywhere, and author James McManus explores its down 'n' dirty epicenter in Positively 5th Street, where he blew a fat advance from Harper's in an ill-fated attempt to win the World Series of Poker--then stumbled onto a story of dark competition and murder. WSH
James McManus reads at Powell's, 1005 W Burnside, 7:30 pm, free

SKATE FILM--It ain't easy keeping your art pure in the tendril-tentacles of capitalism, and skateboarding is no exception. In the documentary The MOBernists, learn how some of the best--Zooyork's Eli Gesmer, Alien Workshop's Don Pendleton, etc. --walk the line without selling the farm. JS
Dept. of Skateboarding, 15 NE Hancock, 493-9480, 7:30 pm, free