THURSDAY, august 19

VIDEO SLAM--Tonight is the Grand Slam of the Orlo Video Slam 2004! After three intense preliminary rounds, the surviving filmmakers compete tonight for a grand prize of $500, presenting short films on one of three themes: "Mad Cow(s)," "Plastic Culture," or "The Campaign Trail." The perfect antidote to sun-induced ADD. MS
Laurelhurst Theatre, 2735 E. Burnside, 7:30 pm, $3

LOW DOUGH SHOW--The hits just keep on coming with the weekly Mercury/Thrasher "Low Dough Series" at the Ash Street! Tonight it cost only FIVE MEASLY DOLLARS to rock out with Portland fave, Dead Moon. Melodic, raw and bombastic, Dead Moon brings the rock 'n' roll assault right to the doorstep of your eardrums. WSH
Ash Street Saloon, 225 SW Ash, 9 pm, WOW! Only $5!!

FRIDAY, august 20

MUSIC AND CAGED ANIMALS--Age, maturity and fatherhood have not mellowed David Byrne's schizophrenic intelligence and jittery musical talent. So much like the excitable monkeys in cages nearby, the high-minded and skittery punk rocker fits tonight's venue at the zoo a bit too well. PB
w/Lisa Germano; Oregon Zoo, 7 pm, $18

MUSIC AND PUKING--What's earned the leather rockers Skitzo invitations to the Jerry Springer and Howard Stern shows? Lead singer Lance pukes on stage! And he invites women on stage to vomit on them. And they have a DVD called Vomitorium. Who really cares what the music is like? PB
U & I Bar & Grill, 6910 N. Interstate, 8 pm, $8

SATURDAY, august 21

ARTISTS AGAINST BUSH--Portland's paid her dues in pepper spray, so be active in party clothes for a change. This fancy, fundraising MoveOn.org fundraiser titled "Merge Left" features Wade McCollum, Thomas Lauderdale, and--best of all--Bill Bradbury and David Wu doing Karaoke From Hell! MS
Montgomery Park, 2701 NW Vaughn, 294-LEFT, 8 pm, $25 sugg. ($100 for 7 pm VIP reception)

DEBUTANTE BALL--NARAL fights to keep America a pro-choice country. Tonight, they also fight to keep you entertained. Hosting a mocking, yet lavish debutante ball called "Deb Out," they've got a stockpile of women ready to parade around like utterly gorgeous pieces of meat. Afterwards, check entertainment by Art Alexakis, DJ Gregarious, The Dresden Dolls, Storm & the Balls and The Jolenes. Proceeds go to NARAL and the fight for reproductive rights! KS
Dante's, 1 SW 3rd, 1-800-325-SEAT, 8 pm, $15

MUSIC--Though I've never really understood the whole Cex "thing," I must admit that Rjyan Kidwell's baffling career is more than a little intimidating. Be it his tender age, his obscenely vast catalog, or his hand in Tigerbeat6, it's clear the kid's muse is impossible to satisfy. Say what you will, just don't call him lazy. ZP
Nocturnal, 1800 E. Burnside, 8 pm, $8, all ages

SUNDAY, august 22

CREEPY 3-D--You want creepy? There's no better person to give it to you than Vincent "The Creepiest Man Who Ever Lived" Price. In 1953's House of Wax, Price plays the creepily named "Professor Jarrod," who makes wax sculptures so creepily real that they could almost beÉ wax-covered corpses! Ahh! Creepy! Even creepier? It's in 3-D! AAAAAHHH! EH
The Clinton Street Theater, 2522 SE Clinton Street, 10:15 pm, $6

DANCIN' IN THE DARKNESS--Listen closely, you who shroud yourselves grimly in Earth's blackest offerings: DJs Horrid and Blackout want you to get your groove on! At the weekly night known as HIVE, the turntable maestros spin all the best dance hits from the evil realms of Goth, Industrial, and Darkwave. Shake that pale, undernourished booty! JWS
Lola's Room, 1332 W Burnside, 9 pm, $3

MONDAY, august 23

DJ & BOOZE--Want to trick out your Monday night? Head down to East where the soothing, spacey ambience of solo performer Auditory Sculpture fills the intimate, moody bar. If you need more incentive, East hosts happy hour all night, so you can slurp and socialize for cheap. KS
East Chinatown Lounge, 322 NW Everett, music starts at 10 pm, free

TUESDAY, august 24

MUSIC--One of the most exciting bands in recent memory, New York's Animal Collective have been doing the impossible with the release of their most recent record Tong Sungs--single-handedly renewing the faith of burned out music journalists (I count at least three personal acquaintances). ZP
w/Black Dice, Jackie-O Motherfucker; Berbati's Pan, 10 SW 3rd, 9:30 pm, $8

WEDNESDAY, august 25

FAST FILM--It takes George Lucas three goddamn years to make one of his Star Wars flicks, and people still hate them. The participants of the 48 Hour Film Project, however, only have two days to make their moviesÉ so maybe you'll love them! The hastily completed opuses from 36 participating teams will be screened over three days. Unbridled creativity? Check. Exciting pace? Check. No Jar Jar? Check. EH
The Hollywood Theater, 4122 NE Sandy Blvd, August 25-27 at 7 and 9 pm, $6