MUSIC--Much like his former Archers of Loaf, Eric Bachmann's Crooked Fingers never seem to get quite the attention that they so rightly deserve. After five years, two full-lengths, and a shit-ton of sob-worthy couplets, Crooked Fingers should rightly be tugging on a corner of Iron and Wine's velvet curtain. Let's start tonight. ZP
w/The Joggers, Black Mountain Army; Dante's, 1 SW 3rd, 1-800-992-TIXX, 8:30 pm, $5

SNOWBALL--For the third year, Kaosmosis is hosting the Yeti Snowball, for those of us who like to get the holiday party started early. Don't miss the Dahoo Chorus, an "experimental rock-opera choir," the 100th MarchFourth Marching Band show, DJs, and costumes presented by… you! MS
Bossanova, 722 E Burnside, 8 pm - 4:30 am, $10-20 sliding


MUSIC--It's time for the third annual Fuzzy Ball, a fantastic evening of local bands covering popular shoegazing artists. Featured acts include The High Violets, Climber, Telephone, Man of the Year, Beef, Minmae, and more, performing songs by My Bloody Valentine, Ride, Lush, Galaxie 500, and Jesus & Mary Chain. There's no reason to sulk tonight! KS
The Fuzzy Ball @ Bossanova, 722 E Burnside, 8 pm, $10

BLASTS FROM THE PAST--If you like big butts and you cannot lie, then don't miss the triumphant return of the '90s premiere comedy rapper with authentic mad skilz, Sir Mix-A-Lot. Or, if your tastes run more toward Vegas-style entertainment, get with the Latino El Vez, whose barrio-style renditions of Elvis' Christmas songs are a guaranteed hoot! WSH
El Vez @ Berbati's, 10 SW 3rd, 9:30 pm, $12; Sir Mix-a-Lot @ Barracuda, NW 2nd & Couch, 9 pm, $15 door

MAKE-OUT MUSIC--I don't care how gooberish the name is, the Snuggle-Ups have created one hell of a make-out record with Extremely Popular, a gleefully cheesy electro pop extravaganza for kissing, dancing, and yes, snuggling. Bring your best gal, and she'll melt all over you. MS
w/Strategy, Euromotion, DJ Beyonda Holocene, 1001 SE Morrison, 9 pm, $5


GORE--You'll get plenty of it at Gore-O-Rama-A-Go-Go! II: Season's Bleedings, a celebration of feature films and shorts with one bloody thing in common. Plus, the Mercury's own Phil Busse is one of the judges, and even more plus: it all benefits p:ear, the kickass art-based non-profit that helps homeless and transitional kids. EH
Bossanova, 722 E Burnside, 9 pm, $13

HIP TO THE HOP--Luscious local ladies Syndel and Toni Hill comprise Sirens Echo, a hiphop duo who tonight celebrate the release of a seriously tight new CD, Psalms of the Sirens. With beats ranging from epic orchestral riffs to old school funk, and powerful, socially relevant-yet-catchy lyrics, it's sure to tear your face off with dopeness. JWS
Ash St., 225 SW Ash, 9 pm, $10


LAST MINUTE SHOPPING--Oh sure, you could buy your loved one a cheap-ass DVD player from Wal-Mart. Or, you could find that perfect, unique gift--the one that fits your honey's soul like a glove. And, you could support local artists. The annual Urban Art Network's Holiday Art Bazaar hosts 50 local artists and artisans, hawking their wares. PB

Crystal Ballroom, 1332 W Burnside, 1-9 pm, free entry

TRIP OUT--I may know fuck-all about minimalist composers and Indian Classical music, but even I know that Terry Riley--a name dropped regularly amongst all of my smart-ass music friends--was one of the most important figures in the development of minimalist and Eastern classical music in the Western world. Tonight, Riley performs Night Ragas, an evening of North Indian classical vocal music. ZP
Community Music Center, 3350 S.E. Francis St, 9 pm, $15


(COOL) KIDS' FLICKS--Yeah! The Clinton Street Theater's playing no less than three classic cartoon movies that you love: My Little Pony, He-Man and She-Ra: the Secret of the Stone and that epic battle between Optimus Prime and the Decepticons, Transformers: The Movie! Why, it's just like a Saturday morning in 1986! But at night. In 2004. And you'll most likely be drunk. EH
Clinton St. Theater, 2522 SE Clinton, Pony at 5, He-Man at 7, Transformers at 9, $6 each


MUSIC--Tokyo's My Way My Love continue Japan's noise invasion with an expansive campaign across the continental United States--infiltrating the American psyche with their particular blend of straightforward punk and looping experimentalism. ZP
w/Relay, Kieskagato; Tonic Lounge, 3100 NE Sandy Blvd, 10 pm, $3


LOCAL POLITICS--Portland is one wiretap away from a Gestapo-like police force. The Joint Terrorism Task Force is a cooperative (and secretive) effort between local and federal agents to keep tabs on us. (Earlier this year, they wrongly arrested a local attorney, alleging that he bombed a train in Spain. Whoops!) Raise your voice at city council today! Tell them NOT to reauthorize the Task Force. PB
City Council Chambers, 1221 SW 4th, Second Floor, 10:30 am, free