MUSIC--Hot local band alert! The awkwardly named Point Juncture, WA are starting to generate a bit of a buzz with their soupy, mellow rock of the twilight hour. They're poppy and melancholy, with the occasional satisfying outbursts of sound wall. Nice. MS
w/Tony Moreno, Andrew Kaffer; Nocturnal, 1800 E Burnside, 8 pm, $5

LOW DOUGH SHOW--Last time they were in town, Seattle's splatter-core originators The Accused's singer, Blaine Fart, claimed that Dante's was the first venue they'd ever played, which makes this sort of a historical recreation. They still make punk go fast, while mascot Martha Splatterhead supervises. MS
Dante's, 1 SW 3rd, 9 pm, $5


NEW YEAR'S NOIZE--Whoop it up wild style with the Lifesavas this New Year's Eve! Bringing the hiphop noise with a live band, the Lifesavas will be joined by the wisdom-droppin' Libretto, the first ladies of PDX hiphop, Siren's Echo, and turntable juice provided by DJ Kez. This year, celebrate it right. WSH
Berbati's, 231 SW Ankeny, 9 pm, 248-4579, $15 advance

NEW YEAR'S PARTY--The Doug Fir Lounge celebrate their very first New Year's Eve with familiar bombast: a multi-level dance disaster appropriately dubbed the Fir Ball. That means DJs galore--including Pander, Izm, Evil One, Anjali, and The Incredible Kid--along with a performance by relatively newfound glam ensemble White Hot Odyssey. ZP
Doug Fir Lounge, 830 E Burnside, 8 pm - 4 am, $20-25

VIDEOGAMES--You've made a lot of grandiose New Year's resolutions: Start that novel, give up the cocaine, finally pay your girlfriend back for that expensive abortion. But we both know you'll really spend 2005 sitting on your ass, playing videogames. Embrace your slackerdom by kicking off the New Year at classic gaming spot Ground Kontrol, whose party lineup involves free videogames, free champagne, and KPSU DJs spinnin' all night long! EH
Ground Kontrol, 511 NW Couch, 796-9364, Fri 8 pm-1 am, $5, 21 and over


DANCE--As any professional drinker knows, there are only two real cures for a hangover: more drinking and exercise. Obviously, the Doug Fir has gotten a handle on this insider knowledge and is combining both cures into a post-New Year's Eve dance-stravaganza: Knotty Disco. DJs Barrett Paul and Mr. Mumu mix up club music like masters while you dance your way into a new year. KS
Doug Fir, 830 E Burnside, 10 pm-4 am, $8

YUK YUK YUK--Some people don't think the Three Stooges are "funny." They think that they're "stupid," "repetitive," and "only appeal to the most insipid of viewers." Now see, those people are idiots, because the Three Stooges are the funniest motherfuckers who ever lived! Get your fill of black and white COMEDY GOLD courtesy of Larry, Curly, and Moe at today's Clinton Street mini-marathon. EH
Clinton St. Theater, 2522 SE Clinton, 238-8899, 6-10 pm, $5


SINGIN'--ALL HAIL KARAOKE! The ultimate bar entertainment that SHALT NEVER DIE! Want proof? Seems like every week a cool bar adds a new karaoke night to its weekly lineup. The most recent addition: Northwest's groovin' Green Room, which, with its cozy stage and song book with over 2000 hits to choose from, is sure to get your drunk ass warbling like a pro. JWS
Green Room, 2280 NW Thurman, 9 pm


JUNK TV--When does TV junk become TV gold? Like The Littlest Groom that came before it, Fox is attempting to once again push the limits of taste with their newest controversial reality show Who's Your Daddy? A woman abandoned at birth tries to pick her biological papa out of a group of eight strangers in order to win $100,000. Awful or AWESOME? Just check your morals at the door, and enjoy! WSH
Who's Your Daddy, Fox (Q-13), 8 pm


LAPTOPS/BOOZE--They go together like cookies and cream. Tonight the cozy, super-chill Night Light Lounge presents its ongoing Laptop Lounge, an evening where electronic musicians and producers twiddle their knobs and throw down some sweet computer-ized grooves for your listening pleasure. Just don't spill. JWS
Night Light Lounge, 2100 SE Clinton, 9 pm - 1 am, free


MIKE--Do you like Mike? I like Mike. What's not to like? And what's not to like about The Famous Mysterious Actor Show--Portland's funniest improv talk show parody--who is putting on their first annual Mikestravaganza!? That's right--all guests named "Mike." Mike Thrasher, Mike Clark of Movie Madness, Mike D from I Can Lick Any SOB in the House, and a super secret special guest "Mike." Why… it's Mike-tastic! WSH
Sabala's at Mt. Tabor, 4811 SE Hawthorne, 9 pm, $5

GOODBYES--After roughly two years of crystalline pop professionalism, Portland's beloved Jackie (the band) is going out with a bang tonight at Berbati's, before calling it a day for good. And look--they're even bringing along Man of the Year and Puma Frenzy to help console the mourners. Bring Flowers. ZP Berbati's Pan, 10 SW 3rd, 9 pm, $3