BOOKS--Was the passage of Measure 37 and the subsequent gutting of Oregon's environmental protections the first step toward the state offing itself? Author Jared Diamond (author of the highly regarded Gun, Germs, and Steel) will tell you when he makes a Powell's-sponsored stop in Portland to discuss his new book, Collapse: How Societies Choose to Fail or Succeed. SM
First Congregational Church, 1126 SW Park Ave, 7:30 pm, free

MUSIC--Are you looking for a local band to love? Try the Hunches on for size. Their rabid, blaring, low-fi rock music is what one might call a beautiful disaster, one you shouldn't ignore any longer--especially for five measly bucks at this week's Low Dough Show. KS
w/Rock N Roll Soldiers, Clorox Girls, Typhoon Killer; Dante's 1 SW 3rd, 9 pm, $5


VINYL RELEASE--Records rule and CDs drool, so thanks to Talkdemonic for going the old-fashioned route on their brand new album-on-vinyl. Tonight they'll add a viola player to their atmospheric brew of film projections, live drumming, and gadgetry, and bring along their friends Menomena and the Kingdom! MS
Doug Fir Lounge, 830 E Burnside, 9 pm, $8

TSUNAMI BENEFITS--Tonight boasts two tsunami benefits, the first at Bossanova features a fashion show, video presentations and music by IQU, and international dance DJ Sterling Moss. The second, at Roseland, features the Dandy Warhols, and Portland's darling Colin Meloy. KS
Saint Rogue at Bossanova, 722 E Burnside; Dandys at Roseland, 8 NW 6th, 1-800-992-8499, 9 pm, $15


COMEDY--How can you not love hilarious comedy? What are you, a grouch? If so, keep your ass OUT of Barracuda TONIGHT, when the final round of the annual Portland Comedy Competition hits center stage! Five stellar semi-finalists from around the region will square off in a brutal test of stand-up comedy warfare, with $5000 on the line! Get lost, grouch! JWS
Barracuda, 12 NW 2nd, , 8 pm, $10

NASTY-ASS SHIT--Contrary to what your creepy junior high school teacher told you, science largely consists of nasty-ass shit like snot, feces, and blood. Cue OMSI's latest exhibit, "Animal Grossology," which reveals the not-so-polite lifestyles of animals like "blood suckers, vomit munchers, slime-makers, and dookie lovers." When was the last time you got to compete in a "Dung Ball Rally" and still feel like you were making yourself smarter? EH
OMSI, 1945 SE Water Ave, $8.50, through May 1

CHEAP & GOOD--That's the story for tonight. Invisible is an elaborate audio/visual project of nearly symphonic proportions. Quiet Countries is a rich and creepy one-man guitar/machine experiment, and the Snuggle Ups are the cutest electro smooch dance music in the greater Northwest. MS
Ohm, 31 NW 1st, 9 pm, $3


SEVEN--It's a very special screening of The Magnificent SEVEN, one of the greatest westerns ever made, with SEVEN gun-slingin' badasses including Yul Brynner, Steve McQueen, and Charles Bronson. The film's based off of Akira Kurosawa's The SEVEN Samurai, and shows tonight at SEVEN pm, and costs SEVEN dollars. And! It's so damn good that out of a possible four stars, I'd give it SEVEN! EH
Whitsell Auditorium, 1219 SW Park Ave, 7 pm, $7

MUSIC--Quannum Projects spokesman and one half of underground hiphop powerhouse Latyrx (a collaboration co-helmed by Lyrics Born), Lateef the Truth Speaker graces us with a rare stop in Portland tonight--aided by the ample support of Bostonian Def Jux reps Mr. Lif and the Perceptionists, and Portland's own Siren's Echo. Get up with the get down. ZP
Doug Fir Lounge, 830 E Burnside, 1-800-992-TIXX, 9 pm, $13-15


PATTY HEARST--Guerrilla: The Taking of Patty Hearst documents the kidnapping of 19-year-old rich bitch Hearst, and her subsequent Stockholm syndrome transformation into an "urban guerrilla." The political climate of the early '70s might ring familiar, so Paris Hilton better watch her back. MS
Cinema 21, 616 NW 21st, 7 pm, $7


THE HA-HA--Weren't you sad to see 2004 go? Yeah, neither were we, and neither was Extra Medium, a mixed-media-lovin' group of stand up comedians, improv actors, and digital filmmakers intent on making you laugh your ass off. Check out their schtick with this, their "not-so-loving remembrance" of last year. EH
Jasmine Tree, SW 4th and Harrison, 8:30 pm, $3


WEIRD SOUNDS--The audio art summit known as Series has been filling The Dunes' shoebox confines with otherworldly noise every month for just over a year--offering performances from folks like Sharon Cheslow and Matt Davignon, Super Unity's Brian Eubanks, Nudge's Honey Owens, and both D. Yellow Swans. With performances by Japanese sound artists Yuko Nexus6 and Mariko Tajiri, tonight's Series_12 marks the final regular show to be held at the venue until further notice--so geek out while you still can. ZP
Dunes, 1905 NE MLK, 10 pm, free

MASCARA--For a quarter of a century, Attrition has been making music that is dark even by goth standards. To celebrate, Martin Bowes and company are bringing their shadowy stage show to Sabala's, because you weren't depressed enough already. ZP
Sabala's Mt. Tabor, 4811 SE Hawthorne, 10 pm, $8