JAPANESE GARAGE ROCK--Don't miss what could easily be the most entertaining show of the week! And for only FIVE BUCKS?! Mercury and Thrasher present the Japanese garage juggernaut Electric Eel Shock, in a rare Low Dough Show appearance here in the USA. Iron Maiden riffs, coupled with barn-burning solos and maybe even a primer in basic Japanese. But no matter what the language, EES will rock your ass off! WSH
w/Lopez, Blackout Radio, Thieves; Dante's, 1 SW 3rd, 9 pm, $5

SEX ART--Boing!! Get ready for sexy, sex-positive performances of drag, music, circus tricks, burlesque, and that bastard child of the arts, spoken word: The Sex Workers Art Show! Featuring Nomy Lamm, Shawna Kenney (author of I Was a Teenage Dominatrix) and a shit-ton more. MS
Berbati's, 10 SW 3rd, 9:30 pm, $8-10


BIKES--Pussies buy bus passes come winter. But for those of us who steadfastly bike through the cold and rain comes the Mini-Bike-Winter, a three-day festival kicking off tonight with the Drunken Public Bike Crawl, followed Saturday with an Alleycat race and dance party, and concluding Sunday with the awesome winter Bike Olympics. See for the details. MS
Bike Crawl meets at Colonel Summers Park, 20th & Belmont, 9:30 pm, BYOB

EVIL DEAD II--Look out, gore lovers! The Mercury Prozac Film Fest is presenting your fave horror/comedy, Evil Dead II, starring the heelarious Bruce Campbell! Watch, heckle, and drink booze as Bruce's disembodied hand takes advantage of him with all manner of kitchen crockery! Plus, live on stage, an ACTUAL demon will be summoned! Scary! WSH
Clinton Street Theater, 2522 SE Clinton, 10 pm, $6 admission, heckling FREE


BBOY BATTLE--The wicked flips, righteous dance moves, worms, and headspins come at you live at PSU's massive bboy battle Ashes2Ashes. Plus! $2500 in cash prizes, DJ entertainment from Portland to NYC, and live music by Lightheaded! KS
PSU's Peter Stott Center, 903 SW Hall, 7 pm, $3-10

SHRED--Say what you will about the Locust, but if there's one thing dudes know about, it's putting together one skull-fucker of a package tour. Tonight's showcase features the beloved Ex-Models, SoCal prog-matics Upsilon Acrux, AND the Plot To Blow Up the Eiffel Tower--who remind you why you cared about San Diego in the first place. ZP
Meow Meow, 320 SE 2nd Ave, 7:30 pm, $10

PUPPETRY--Why is it that the inherent hilarity of drinking, fucking, and killing, becomes magnified when the drinkers, fuckers, and killers are puppets? It's an unwritten law that Seattle's Monkey Wrench Puppet Lab have built their careers on. Tonight they present a special Portland showing of their dark, crude, screamingly funny evening of puppetry antics titled, fittingly, Drunk Puppet Night. JWS
Winningstad Theatre, 1111 SW Broadway, 248-0557, 8 pm, $12-15


KA-POW!--The only thing better than laughing your ass off is watching kung fu… and the only thing better than kung fu is laughing your ass off. It's a conundrum, to be sure--but you'll have plenty of time to ponder it while watching Kung Fu Hustle, the latest from the brilliant Stephen Chow (Shaolin Soccer, God of Cookery). EH
Whitsell Auditorium, Portland Art Museum, SW Park and Madison, Sat 9:15 pm, Sun 12 pm, $8

FREEDOM--The second edition of Berbati's brilliantly sure-fire Church of Psychedelia offers interactive sensory explorations in sound, sight, touch, and… trip. Performances include Adam Forker's (Yume Bitsu, [[[VVRSSNN]]]) White Rainbow and Exploratory Organ Ensemble, DJs E*ROCK and White Sheik, and visuals by Kirlian Steal. Did I mention it's still free? ZP
Berbati's Pan, 10 SW 3rd, 9:30 pm, free


ROLLER SKATING--Sure, the '70s had their embarrassments--bell bottoms, communes, The Eagles--but they also had the greatest recreational activity EVER: disco roller skating parties! Check out tonight's monthly edition of "Gay Skate," which is exactly what it sounds like, replete with a raffle to benefit Elder Resource Alliance, a group that helps out GLBT seniors. PB
Oaks Park Roller Rink, 7-9:30 pm, $5


TRIVIA--Do you know how many bones there are in the human body? Know the name of Paris Hilton's dog? Then stop by the Mercury trivia night! Hosted by the rambunctious, adorable. and completely trivial Katie Shimer, it features great prizes and (what else?) a Boggle tournament! PB
New Old Lompoc, 1616 NW 23rd, 7:30 pm, free

LOVE--A little late for Valentine's Day perhaps, but not a second too soon. Portland's favorite lost noise sons D. Yellow Swans steamroll their way back into the Rose City--bringing with them sound artist Chuck Bettis--and for a single evening, we can all breath a sigh of ear-rupturing relief. ZP
Dunes, 1905 NE MLK, 10 pm, free


MUSIC--Miss the Beatles? Silver Sunshine are like a modern day, California-born fab four. Their music blends pop and psychedelia into beautiful and harmonious, lackadaisical music that almost no one could hate. Except a person who hates the Beatles. Rot in Hell, Beatles-hater. KS
w/A Fir-Ju Well, Aqui, Xila; Berbati's, 10 SW 3rd, 9:30 pm, $5