THURSDAY, MARCH 3
BLOOD BROTHERS--The Blood Brothers boil the blood of some and make that of others quicken. Isn't that what's supposed to happen when you concoct fast, metal-y spasms with depraved sentiment? It's an old recipe, but if it still offends, then it's still working. MS
w/Chinese Stars, Mean Reds; Loveland, 320 SE 2nd, 8 pm, $10

CABARET--Theatrical performance is always so much more enjoyable when you're getting drunk--yes? Thus, Lola's Room is hosting a semi-regular cabaret night put together by experienced entertainer Maggie Gould, who's choreographed for Nike, toured with the Ice Capades, and danced in the movie Roadhouse! This week enjoy "Follies Bergere" a tragi-comedic French style song and dance cabaret. Hooray! BB
Lola's Room, 1332 W Burnside, 9 pm, $10

FRIDAY, MARCH 4
TOP GUN!--We've saved the best for last at the hilariously AWESOME finale of the Mercury Winter Prozac Film Festival, featuring the Tom Cruise classic Top Gun! Get loaded on brew, and heckle the shit out of Maverick, Goose, Iceman, and fat Kelly McGillis. Plus, show up early for a beer-soaked tribute to Hunter S. Thompson, Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas. WSH
Clinton Street Theater, 2522 SE Clinton, Fear and Loathing, 7 pm, Top Gun, 10 pm, $6 show, $2 beer

DEFIANCE--Oh damn, for a second there I was sure that punk really was dead, and then Defiance came back. After nearly a year of hibernation, our premiere outfit of scummy, crusty, spiked pals are back with a new full length, Rise Or Fall, so go say "hey." MS
Paris, 6 SW 3rd, 7 pm, $8

SATURDAY, MARCH 5
MUSIC--Sure, you're all atwitter over I Am a Bird Now--the latest star-packed (featuring cameos by Lou Reed, Boy George, Devendra Banhart, and Rufus Wainwright, among others) offering by Antony & the Johnsons--but let's not forget how much you secretly liked CocoRosie's La Maison de Mon Reve last year. And let's not forget to arrive early. ZP
Doug Fir Lounge, 830 E Burnside, 9 pm, $12-14

MUSH!--We've all said it at one point: "Ah, if only I lived in more frigid climes, so that I might partake in an Iditarod race!" Well, don't let that stop you--the Fourth Annual Urban Iditarod is upon us. Trick four of your friends into pulling you in a shopping cart, and get ready for a four-mile race--which, in order to keep the hard-pulling "dogs" properly hydrated, will stop at plenty (seven, all told) of alcohol-serving "rest stops." EH
11 am, starts at the SE Madison fire station, http://mysite.verizon.net/urbaniditarod

SUNDAY, MARCH 6
LORENZO!--In addition to plenty of comics, the Portland Comic Book Show has two AMAZING guests! Direct-to-video beefcake Lorenzo Lamas (Snake Eater, Gladiator Cop) will be there, alongside Playboy Playmate Barbara Moore! Geeks of both genders: commence swooning. EH
Portland Comic Book Show, Memorial Coliseum at the Rose Quarter, 10 am-5 pm. $6

MONDAY, MARCH 7
THRILLER--Thankfully, actor Adrien Brody has interrupted his busy schedule of appearing in crappy Coke commercials and is finally in a real movie! And it's a good one, too--the Sundance-approved thriller The Jacket has Brody stuck in a mental institution and taking occasional trips into the future. Check it out for an intellectually stimulating time. (And check out costar Keira Knightley for a different kind of stimulating time….) EH
See movie times on page 47 for theaters and showtimes

TUESDAY, MARCH 8
WORLD DOMINATION-- … is going to be a piece of cake for anybody that can build and command an army of merciless killer robots. Get buildin' with James Conrad's book, Stiquito Controlled!: Making A Truly Autonomous Robot. Not only is there a reading tonight, but the book comes with a kit to build "Stiquito," your very first robot servant! EH
Powell's Technical Books, 33 NW Park Ave, 7 pm, FREE

FIGHTING--Nicely coinciding with this week's Golden Gloves event at the Milwaukie Elks Lodge (see feature story, pg. 14), it's local photographer Jim Lommasson's elegant new exhibit American Fight Clubs, a collection of vivid images depicting "the tender and brutal life of inner city boxing gyms." Put up your dukes. JWS
New American Art Union, 922 SE Ankeny, Tues-Sat 11 am-6 pm, through March 3

WEDNESDAY, MARCH 9
PLAY--Besides their family-friendly production Frogz, the Imago Theatre has a history of hit-and-miss experimental projects. Their magical production of Sartre's No Exit, however--in which the actors must move in eerie unison to keep the innovative, centrally balanced stage from tipping them into a void--is another absolute, surefire winner. JWS
Imago, 17 SE 8th, 231-9581, Tues-Thurs 7:30 pm, Fri-Sat 8 pm, Sun 7 pm, $18-21

DANCE--In addition to being fodder for countless stoned laser shows and an impromptu soundtrack for Wizard of Oz, Pink Floyd's The Wall is an important and powerful work of art. Or so says the Beijing Modern Dance company, whose new work Rear Light is a thrilling piece of choreography scored by the 70-minute album, and inspired by the drug-addled movie by the same name. PB
Schnitzer, 1037 SW Broadway, 7:30 pm, $19-43