ST. PATRICK'S DAY--You know the drill: Wear green or get your ass kicked, eat corned beef, and drink your Irish face off. And since you're celebrating anyway, might as well drop by today's huge-ass downtown block party, where blues guitarist Chris Cain, Storm and the Balls, the MARCHing Bagpipe Band, and plenty more musical acts will be on hand to help you ring in this strange, strange holiday. JWS
65 SW Yamhill, music tent opens @ 2 pm, $10, proceeds benefit the River Network

BLOODY ST. PATRICK'S DAY--Ah, Leprechaun, perhaps the most brilliant portrait of a homicidal leprechaun ever made. Warwick Davis (Willow himself) plays a surly little fucker who wants his missin' gold back--and this shamrock-lovin' bastard will go after anyone (even a pre-nose job Jennifer Aniston) to get it! EH
Clinton St. Theater, 2522 SE Clinton, 9 pm, $6


HIPHOP-- It's an all-star local lineup of heavy hiphop tonight at the Fir, headlined by the bass-heavy dance trio, Suckapunch and their special guest Storm (of "and the Balls" fame). Also along for this sweet ride is Siren's Echo, the beatbox magic of Fogatron, plus DJs Deena B and Izm! Stretch out those ass muscles, and get 'em shakin'! WSH
Doug Fir Lounge, 830 E Burnside, 9 pm, $10

MUSIC--Ellen Allien collaborator and BPitch Controller Smash TV (AKA Holger Zilske) makes his first-ever stop in the Rose City--an appearance that just-so-happens to coincide with the first ever Portland set by acclaimed UK DJ and Crosstown Rebels label owner Damian Lazarus. Boy, it sure smells European in here. ZP
Holocene, 1001 SE Morrison, 9 pm, $10


MUSIC--Beloved Blackalicious emcee Gift of Gab returns in continued support of last year's stellar Fourth Dimensional Rocketships Going Up--and he's bringing Quannum labelmate (and former Latyrx-ian) Lateef the Truth Speaker along for good measure. ZP
w/Lightheaded, DJ Beyonda; Berbati's Pan, 10 SW 3rd, 9 pm, $15

GOTH--Are you serious about goth/industrial music, or just want something fun to do on Saturday night? Check out Noir's Dementia goth/industrial night starring serious darkmen DJs Non, Valence, and Medusa and enjoy a selection of harsh and somber music, and a room full of people who feel no obligation to dance. KS
Noir, 203 SE Grand, 9 pm, $3


ROCK--Garage rock is practically one of our natural resources, and unlike the fishes and forests, it appears to be under no threat of extinction. The Hunches are one of the most reliable and trashy examples, so try them--it's good for you. MS
w/Turpentine Brothers, Husbands, Invisible Eyes, DJ Highway 7; Berbati's, 231 SW Ankeny, 9:30 pm, $7-8

METAL SUNDAYS--Head to Sabala's on Sunday nights and check out cool bands like Church of Hate, who play slow metal riffs while lamenting "Jesus Christ is dead/He is soooo dead," and locals like Mindstain who speak ominously and scream their goddamn lungs out over chugging guitar. Beer and headbanging are a great way to exorcise your demons before Monday. KS
w/Debris, Severus; Sabala's, 4811 SE Hawthorne, 9 pm, $5


MUSIC--L.A.'s Kissing Tigers have mastered the art of keeping it simple, stupid--which is to their credit, really. By letting their influences (read: synth-pop) bleed through ever so comfortably, the Tigers effortlessly craft the kind of pop that makes the Killers look like such miserable failures. ZP
w/ Portugal The Man, Polar Bears, Show Is In The Rainbow;
Ash Street, 225 SW Ash, 9 pm, $5


FILM--If I got drafted, I'd still put up a fight about it. But if I had to go, I'd want to be assigned with the soldiers of the fascinating new documentary Gunner Palace, who are stationed at one of the bombed-out pleasure palaces from Iraq's old regime. EH
Cinema 21, 616 NW 21st Ave, 5 & 9 pm, $7

READING--Sure, we all know the Andy Warhol adage that every American will be famous for 15 minutes. How true. How true. But what happens when the spotlight leaves? In their captivating book The Sixteenth Minute, Jeff Guinn and Douglas Perry profile a few saps that we loved and left--from American Idol contestants to flash-in-the-pan sports heroes. PB
Powell's, 1005 W Burnside, 7:30 pm, free


LOW N' PEDRO--Who doesn't like indie sort-of-stars Pedro the Lion? Nobody! Everybody likes them! Also, who doesn't like slowcore stars Low? Again--nobody! Everybody likes them! Which makes this Low/Pedro the Lion show a pretty safe bet--everybody's going to like it! EH
Bossanova, 722 E Burnside, 9 pm, $15