THURSDAY, JUNE 9

MUSIC--Local rockers Menomena keep on rockin' on the strength of their beloved I Am The Fun Blame Monster. They'll party tonight with the most badassical drum/viola duo in town, Talkdemonic, plus The National, one of the better bands to ever emerge from Cincinnati, OH. JWS
Berbati's Pan, 10 SW 3rd, 9:30 pm, $10

FRIDAY, JUNE 10

MUSIC--One of Portland's most spectacular local bands, The Planet The, gives us another boisterous round of their proggy, electro rock with a new release titled You Absorb My Vision. Check out their CD release tonight--it's undoubtedly the place to be. KS
w/Puff Puff Give, Copy; Holocene, 1001 SE Morrison, www.brownpapertickets.com, 9 pm, $7

JUMP OFF--Who is the greatest double-dutch jump rope team in the world? Find out tonight at the Performance Art Double Dutch World Championships at the newly inaugurated Disjecta! San Francisco's hilarious Double Dutchess team will take on Seattle's On the Double for the coveted world championship. Plus a performance by aerial dance group Aviator! WSH
Disjecta, 230 E Burnside, 9 pm, $8

MARCHING BANDS--The tuba's oom-pah-pah, the bass drum's deep-throated bellow and the crashing cymbals--nothing stirs the soul like a good marching band. Today, at the Festival of Bands, the best high school marching bands in the region take the field to strut some fancy footwork and rage on school pride. PB
PGE Park, 7:30 pm, $10-12

SATURDAY, JUNE 11

QUEER PARTY--Life still not gay enough for you? Then check this great Queer Pride Week kickoff party with Sissyboy, Johnny Mozzarella, DJs Jimme Jamma and Yeah Yeah, drag queens and kings galore, and all the rest of your homosexual, extra-sensory buddies. EJ
Boxxes/The Brig, SW 11th & Stark, $4 donation (benefits Q-LAND)

BIRTHDAY PARTY--Your good buddies at PICA turn 10 years old this week, celebrating with a visual art throwdown featuring awesome local and national artists like Brad Adkins, Harrell Fletcher, Nan Curtis, and tons more. Don't miss tonight's exhibit opening and dance party, with plenty of food and drinks for all. JWS
PICA Annex, NW 13th & Flanders, 242-1419, 7 pm, $5-10

SUNDAY, JUNE 12

CROQUET FINALS--Ready to get serious about croquet? Then don't miss the 9th Annual Resort at the Mountain Croquet Invitational, featuring the most awesome mallet wielders from England, South Africa, Australia, and the USA! This tourney will feature the top three players in the world--that means us amateur mallet-heads are gonna get a schoolin'! WSH
The Resort at the Mountain Croquet Courts, 68010 East Fairway Ave, Welches, OR, www.TheResort.com, Narrated finals start at 1 pm, FREE!

COMEDIAN--Funny standup comics are rarer than comets, which is why you should pounce on this chance to see Eugene Mirman, arguably the funniest "comet-ian" currently working (now THAT'S funny! POW!). With a lackadaisical, almost drunken style, he launches absurdist tirades that are not guaranteed to entirely make sense. If you can't handle it, hang around for the catchy keyboard stylings of headlining band Aqueduct. POW!!! JWS
Doug Fir, 830 E Burnside, 9 pm, $8

MONDAY, JUNE 13

MAGIC--Okay, random. The Belmont Inn is hosting local magician Antwan Towner and his "street style magic."I don't know about you, but I love a little randomness with my vodka tonic, and I don't mind a couple slight of hand tricks, either. Just please, Antwan, don't make me volunteer to be sawed in half. KS
Belmont Inn, 34th & SE Belmont, Sun-Mon 10 pm, FREE

TUESDAY, JUNE 14

MUSIC--Fronted by Ivy league pop genius Dave Longstreth, Dirty Projectors are touring in support of this year's amazing Getty Address--the band's oppressively conceptual glitch-opera--with roughly nine people in tow. Even more impressive: The performance is to be coupled with the staggering video work of James Sumner, whose vision rides some deeper Peter Gabriel waves. Do not miss this show. ZP
Holocene, 1001 SE Morrison, 9 pm, $7

MUSIC--Locking into a patently feminine cog of a post-rock vision, Brighton's Electrelane continue to be one of the most compelling and frustrating rock bands at work in Britain today. Ditto to Shoplifting, who hardly have a lot of competition in their native Seattle. ZP
w/the Kingdom; Berbati's Pan, 10 SW 3rd, 9:30 pm, $10

WEDNESDAY, JUNE 15

KARAOKE--…American Idol is for fucking chumps, man. Real wannabe singers rock the karaoke. Luckily, Alibi's well aware of this fact, as evidenced by their "Karaoke Artist of the Year Contest," with finalists chosen every Wednesday this month to compete in a final showdown for a $1,000 grand prize! Best start polishing up your doubtlessly brilliant rendition of "Poncho and Lefty." EH
Alibi Restaurant and Lounge, 4024 N Interstate, 9 pm, FREE