Introducing: Patty Kovach, creator of the White Wabbit clothing line; Sarah Shaoul, owner of Retread Threads; Nathan Howdeshell, guitarist of the Gossip and DJ Nightschool; and Joe Faustin Kelly, local furniture designer and professional snark.


Patty: "Everyone has this coat this year! It's like the trend of the winter! Which is cool because... I have this coat."

Nathan: "'Dude, I'm about to go see Interpol play.' Avril Lavigne probably has that same shirt. With the belt and the cigarette, the way his head's cocked... it's just too perfect."

Sarah: "I like the pegged jeans, and... is that a bruised thumbnail or nail polish? I'm kind of digging that."


Nathan: "A college DJ from 1983! He looks either very comfortable or very uncomfortable. He kind of has a 'Why be normal?' thing going on."

Patty: "A bike messenger who got all done up for the night! Like okay, this is Gen-X!"

Sarah: "I like the whole thing: the hat, the tie. And I like that he's wearing red. I think guys need to be wearing brighter colors more often. But... I don't think he'd be a fashion icon."

Joe: "You'd think that after eighteen years we could get Ducky to tuck in his shirt."


Nathan: "Robin Hood: Prince Of Thieves meets Flock of Seagulls!"

Patty: "I wouldn't make out with him, but I'd like to hear his pickup lines."

Joe: "I wouldn't make out with him. Not while I was conscious anyway."

Patty: "It could have been mod, but instead it's like... Burning Man."

Nathan: "If he didn't have his pants on, that would be so Burning Man!"

Joe: "Instead of watching out for cops, this dude is up in your parents' closet putting on every piece of your grandmother's old clothing. Until your dad walks in, then he just yells 'Check it ouuuuuut!'"


Sarah: "She looks bored with her clothing. She's really pretty, she's just... Red top and red pants... Do you think she's trying to go for a J.LO? She's asking us to help her!"

Nathan: "She looks like a giant piece of blood or something... Is that strip her stomach? I kind of like that because it's... jarring."

Patty: "It looks like a 'before' picture."

Joe: "If my body rash looked like that, I wouldn't mind staying home with some lotion to 'treat' it. I'd pay $18 [to make out with her]."


Nathan: "Substitute teacher gone wild on the weekend! 'I have no school for the next two days, I'm gonna go out and party wiiild!!' Maybe some dudes will do body shots off her later tonight at the bar. Her husband's going to have to drive her home tonight."

Patty: "She wears those shoes to teach in and then bought everything else at Hot Topic."

Sarah: "I just hate all of it! Every bit of it! This is horrible! The shoes are horrible! The tights are horrible! The top's horrible!"

Joe: "$5"


Patty: "A lot of competing looks going on. The shoes with something else maybe..."

Nathan: "I'm not really into that ruffle. But, I am a big fan of Forever 21 and this is total Forever 21. What's on those tights... corn? Is that corn or marijuana leaves? The top looks like my mom's pillowcase."

Sarah: "That is just not working... and those tights are horrible. She's got good hair, though. Is that silver jewelry with this gold piping? That bothers me, too."

Joe: "'Show me some curtain samples and a sewing machine and I'll show you FRIDAY NAHYEET!' ($7)"