On Saturday I was lucky enough to have free passes to see The Tails of Abbygail, a film about a spunky, imaginative and moderately attractive Jack Russell Terrier, named Abby and her adventures hunting for pirate treasure and finding friendship, which is the greatest treasure of all. The experience was one of the more bizarre of my life thus far. If you ever have the opportunity to go to Sandy, Oregon, at 9 am for a film premiere, I highly suggest it.


These dogs know how to make an entrance. Not only did they arrive in their very own black SUV embossed with their pictures on the side, they were met with a red carpet lined with little girls dressed in their best princess attire and their bored brothers. Some dogs took it better than others. One pooch, Betty, I believe, became overwhelmed, started panting and shedding like crazy, and had to be escorted off the premises.

Pictures of the premiere and more commentary on the Tails of Abbygail after the Jump.


The whole ordeal screamed "local" and "vanity project." Terry Lynn Link, who wrote, directed, narrated, and produced the picture, sashayed up and down the red carpet, holding whichever tiny dog was closer.




The film itself was...unique? The production value was unprecedented...in a bad way. For the first half of this half hour long film, the lens was dirty and as Abby and her friends frolicked around, a dirty smudge followed, dancing awkwardly in the foreground.

I don't want to give it all away and ruin it for you, but I will provide you with some highlights. First of all, one character is named Girlfriend, which I believe might be the creepiest name for a dog ever. The pink dyed poodle, Rosebud, has the ability to teleport. Abby, our brave protagonist, not only overcomes her fear of large beasts by mounting and riding a horse all by herself, but also learns about the difficulties single mothers face from a stray cat who had just given birth in a barn the next door. I only wish the pirate key that makes your dreams come true (as long as you say "please"!) was real, so that my wish---that I was watching an episode of Wishbone instead---would have been granted.